The Terrible Friends Podcast

This week, we’re joined once again by freelance writer, star of Skunk Ape and all-around good guy Matt Clark! We lament the cartoon shows of our youth, analyze some Craigslist ads, break up with other people’s girlfriends, and talk Star Wars (of course). We also reveal the Legend of Moccasin Guy, pictured below. If you’re like us, and can’t get enough Matt Clark, you can find him writing for MTV Splashpage, or making hilarious jokes on Twitter. AND if you haven’t yet, head over to iTunes to give us a review and to FB to like our page! You can also now subscribe to our Youtube Channel for weekly podcast previews and other awesome stuff coming soon!

From Urban Dictionary: Champagne Enema, n. A champagne enema is when the recipient lays down on their back with their legs in the air and a bottle of champagne is inserted in the ass and shaken.  Remove the bottle and let her spray the champagne in the air. Dude after we gave that girl a champagne enema we all gotta shower… This week we revisit an old story of Jeff witnessing a girl getting a champagne enema, and then try to imagine the series of events that brought her to it.  We also delve into the world of mosh pits and stumble onto a wealth of podcast gold known as the Free Voyer Web, which is a wiki site about all things sexual and is written by a monster. Enjoy!

This week we laid an almighty task upon our friend DaLysh from the F-List podcast: find us the 10 worse things on the Internet.  He delivered, and it was fucking terrible.  I mean really, the 10 worst things on the Internet.  I won’t even post them on here because I don’t want you to suffer like we did, but some highlights include a rotten and infected vagina, a dude getting cut up by a chainsaw, old men having sex, and a never ending spinning dick. But while it was awful for us, I can guarantee that it’ll be awesomely hilarious for you. Happy Halloween from your Terrible Friends!

I’m not even going to tell you what the title of this episode means.  You’ll just have to listen to the episode to find out.  In this episode we discuss Jeff’s new roller derby name, Penis Flytrap, and read some lyrics by a band of the same name.  Jeff also tells us about his recent encounters with highway toll booth attendants, creeping his coworkers out by acting like Tommy Wiseau,  and we all tell stories of grade school gym class. Enjoy!

Ah the sex fetish.  Whether it involve high heels, bondage, specific body parts or people dressing up like clowns, I think most of us can agree that it’s all kind of fucking weird.  I think even the people with the fetishes would agree to that.  I mean, if it took a girl rubbing her feet on me to get me going, I think I could admit that it’s a bit fucked up.  Now that we’ve established that, I give you an episode of the Terrible Friends Podcast where we delve into the dark and slimy world of sneeze fetishes. Enjoy!   Be sure to follow your Terrible Friends, wherever they may be! @terriblejake @terriblejeff @terriblerich Terrible Friends on Facebook

Wow I just realized, as I’m writing this blog, how the majority of this episode is about poop.  I think it can be due, in large part, to our dear friend Seth Macy from the F-List Podcast.  He introduced us to a website dedicated entirely to “Erotic Female Relieving Observance”.  That’s a fancyway of saying “women taking enormous and epic shits in less than ideal locations”.  I won’t spoil it for you, you’ll just have to listen to the podcast to get the gory details. Jake and Jeff also recount their recent visits to the doctor, where Jeff was so freaked out and his blood pressure was so high they had to put him on an EKG machine just to make sure his heart wasn’t going to explode.  Jake’s doctor visit ended with him getting a colonoscopy, which is a fancy way of saying “got knocked with with anesthetics and had someone shove a tube with a camera on it up his ass and look around”. Enjoy! Be sure to follow your Terrible Friends, wherever they may be! @terriblejake @terriblejeff Terrible Friends on Facebook

Hey, do you know what’s better than stories about ear piercings, high school physicals, train rides, and music festivals?  How about stories of dick piercings?  Or physicals where you have an “accident” when the hot doctor touches your junk?  Or train rides with an annoying hippie douchebag who smells like he shit his pants and talks about Ford electric cars for three hours?  Or maybe the creepy old guy at the music festival who’s wearing a super short skirt and man-thong taking creepy pictures of people so he can masturbate to them when he gets home and cut his penis with razor blades. If you like stuff like that then you sure are lucky, cause that’s what this week’s episode is all about.  If you don’t like stuff like that then listen anyway because I can guarantee you that you will laugh almost as much as you will cry. Enjoy!

In a break from the usual blog format, I’m just going to give you a bullet point list of reasons that you’re really going to like our new episode. I know you’re skeptical, but what would would life be without a little zest once in a while?   REASONS WHY THIS EPISODE IS GREAT *People do unspeakable things at buffets. *We list off several names of buffets – some of which are funny (like Chuck-A-Rama – whose website auto-loads a shitty, shitty country song). *People are unspeakably fat at buffets. *Our guest is Seth Macy from the F-List Podcast. He is very funny. *We discover a long-lost secret about the internet which will provide you with HOURS even DAYS of entertainment. It’s great. *Hilarious guest star Seth Macy raps some of the most confusing stuff you’ve ever heard. *We talk in length about THIS WEBSITE. It’s one of the most FUCKING INSANE not-fake things on the internet.     That’s about it – make sure to follow our antics on facebook and twitter. Also – leave us a review on iTunes wontcha? ***EDIT*** I feel we would be doing a disservice to our fans not linking to the OTHER angelfire website we talked about as well. SO HERE IT IS.

After a taking some time to bask in the afterglow of Episode 100, we took the elevator back to the comedy mines to dig up some more precious comedy gems for you. Because that mining metaphor worked out so well, I don’t even feel the need anymore to make the “Blood Diamond” joke I was planning on making. Lucky everyone. This week we talk about that kid everyone knew in high school who would eat cigarette butts and puke on bands at punk rock shows, and the things we used to do at college parties when we were 18 and slightly more obnoxious. SLIGHTLY. We also talk about creating and marketing our own brands of hygene products. Here’s a taste of what we came up with: As always you can find us on facebook! Enjoy the new episode!

Hello fellow terrible friends.  As you might have noticed from the title, this is our 100th episode, and that’s FUCKING AWESOME.  Do you know how many times it takes of Jeff doing bad Gollum impressions, Rich talking about pot, and Jake creeping the fuck out of everyone to get to 100?  Yeah.  Think about that shit.  And you know what else?  You STILL LISTEN.  How’s your fucked up life, bro? It’s ok.  We know how awesome you are, even if you have listened to us talk about poop every week for a year. In honor of our awesome listeners, we tried to do things a bit special for our 100th.  We are all together for this episode, and even have a live audience (sort of).  We look back at some of our (and our fans’) favorite topics or bits, and visited them again with a renewed vigor and perspective.  So basically that means the offensive stuff in this episode is extra special.  Like dumping menstrual blood from a diva cup onto a white unicorn special.  Or making up words for the Star Trek: The Next Generation theme song that include “I want to cum in your lungs.”  Oh and it’s twice as long as a normal episode, so there’s even more of that extra special to go in your ears! Thanks again to all of our listeners and fans who keep this fun for us. Enjoy!