Who needs a rockin new year's party when you have the Three Whisky Happy Hour in peak form, dishing out on the top stories of 2023, and, in the spirit of the late financial analyst Byron Wein, offering a range of potential low-probability surprises (rather than firm predictions) for 2024.

What's the difference between a prediction and a surprise? Well think about it this way: who would have predicted, at year end 2022, that right now our favorite Democratic Senator would be . . . John Fetterman? Black swans everywhere are saying, "I did NOT see that coming!"

But before getting started with your 2024 Bingo card we take note of the dumbest controversy of the week, which is seeing some conservatives upset at the "Conservative Dad's Real Women of America" 2024 calendar, which features fetching photos of leading conservative heroines such as Riley Gaines in fetching outfits. Along the way we learn that somewhere in a box in her garage, Lucretia has some modeling photos from her time doing the Jane Fonda workout back in the 1980s, and so we're committing ourselves to producing a 3WHH calendar at some point.

And speaking of attractive women in unattractive poses, Nikki Haley got her second strike this week (her first being the blunder several weeks ago of proposing to ban anonymous accounts on social media) when she completely flubbed the "planted" question about the cause of the Civil War. We deplore her Kamala-esque answer and attempts a cleaning it up, but are relieved that at least she didn't say "tariffs."

And as befits any fast-moving party conversation, we take surprising digressions, such as a detour into the legacy of Edward Tufte, who reminds us that Stalin had the greatest Power Point presentations ("no one has bullet points like Stalin's bullet points!") and also the single greatest chart of all time.

Eventually we get down to business with our picks for Story of the Year for 2023 (hint: Steve says "party like it's 1954!"), and our surprises for 2024. Get your Bingo cards ready. And also enjoy our exit bumper music this week from Spike Jones. Happy new year!