The Wednesday Audio

You don’t even read this do you? You barely listen to the podcast, so there’s no chance you’re going to read these words. Imagine that. Somebody reading. That’s truly revolutionary int it. That’s not what happens around these parts. Sure, you’ll scan over some of these sentences. You might even laugh a little bit at some of em. Well, you might chuckle a bit. Or just do that shoulder shrug thing with a sharp intake of breath. I don’t expect a full-blown belly laugh.

Anyway, we’re wasting time. Just listen to the podcast and then pay me $9 because it’s so good.

P.S. I just worked with Vanya on this absolutely hilarious modern-day take on an old internet meme. Go listen.

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This one’s for Vanya.

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The Podcast Ombudsman has informed that I must make this introduction to the following podcast episode factually correct. So, here it is.

This is a podcast episode. The podcast is called The Wednesday Audio. The episode is titled Podcast Conversations.

Enjoy?

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In last week’s episode of Craig Burgess’ episodic satirical improvisational lacksidasical maniacal overly describable but also indescrible podcast podcast—The Wednesday Audio—we have been informed of a mistake. It’s our job as podcast ombudsman to point out this mistake, and offer a correction.

And to hear the correction, you must listen to the podcast.

And now, The Wednesday Audio. Hello, welcome.

Get full access to The Wednesday Audio at yeahwednesdays.substack.com/subscribe

In this week’s episode…

Actually, why do people always start podcast descriptions with ‘in this week’s episode’? We all know it’ll be in this week’s episode. Nobody looks at a podcast description for this week’s episode and says to themselves:

“Oh. That must be next week’s description”

That’d be madness. Although…it’s given me an idea.

Hello, welcome.

PS. Apologies to everyone who left a messge last week. I completely forgot to talk to you in this week’s episode. In NEXT week’s episode, I will address your opinions as if I care about them.

Get full access to The Wednesday Audio at yeahwednesdays.substack.com/subscribe

It’s like, erm, you know when you once saw that thing, and it turned out to be that different thing, but you thought it was blue and it was yellow, and sometimes it’s long but it can be short as well, but Lee from around the corner saw you with it, he had it on his t-shirt, you know, that thing, tasted nice but looked horrible. Yeah, it’s like that.

Delightfully indescribable.

Or maybe delightfully indescribabble.

That would have been a better joke, if I’d not written this after I’d recorded the episode.

P.S. Thank you to Trilety for the idea for the episode name, and indeed, the entire concept of the episode.

Get full access to The Wednesday Audio at yeahwednesdays.substack.com/subscribe

I won’t mention it too many times, but you can now choose to pay for this podcast.

The Wednesday Audio is a listener-supported podcast. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

I don’t know why you’d want to pay for it, honestly I don’t. But all that matters is that you now have the option. I’ve given you a choice, and we all like choices, don’t we?

The Wednesday Audio is now a freemium podcast, supported by dirty listeners just like you. Consider paying.

I mean, it’s only $9 a month. What else can you buy with that? Really, in this day and age, nothing at all. You might as well give me it. I’ll put it to better use, where I’ll collect together multiple $9 and do something larger with it. Like, I don’t know, buy myself another soundboard.

Substack tells me that the more of these I add, the more subscribers I’ll get. Apparently.

P.S. Listen right until the end. It makes my numbers look better.

Get full access to The Wednesday Audio at yeahwednesdays.substack.com/subscribe

In a Wednesday Audio first, I decided to make a Political Special. However, in a Wednesday Audio Standard, I quickly got bored of doing such a thing (I don’t know anything about politics), lost track, lost momentum, forgot to write down a bit for The Actual C*ntent, and just used “Has He Gone Yet?!” as a repetitive but ultimately slightly amusing joke for the remainder of the episode.

You know how it goes. There’s no surprises here.

You’re welcome.

Hello, welcome.

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Each month The Soaring Twenties Social Club write a symposium. It involves us all making something around a certain topic. This month’s topic was Nostalgia, and—I’ll be honest—I forgot.

So I thought, well, what can I do in a pinch? What do I have to hand that I can turn into some writing pretty quickly? What tools do I have? I realised I didn’t have any tools, no writing tools at least. But I did have 3 soundboards, some recording equipment, a mic, a voice, and no shame.

Introducing: my Nostalgia piece.

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Apparently to make a better podcast you need to make a faster podcast, you know, get it into peoples brains faster and get them thinking faster using that knowledge faster, you know, just working faster optimising themselves as human beings and self impr*vement, you know, nobody listens to podcasts at 1 ecks any more it’s all at 2 ecks I got told so Carlos told me to give it a bash and this is my episode at 2 ecks, you know, it might come across as a little bit crazy actually I’ve since realised that after recording the episode that when you don’t really breathe for an entire episode and when you take no breaks it comes across as a little bit manic and people can mistake that and probably rightly so for some kind of issue, you know, even though all you’re really trying to do is make a point that things that are sped up aren’t better and knowledge isn’t better the quicker you receive it, you know, and this obsession with everything being faster newer quicker better isn’t anything of the sort.

Anyway, it’s 2 ecks. This is what you all wanted. This is what podcast listeners want apparently. Blame them.

Get full access to The Wednesday Audio at yeahwednesdays.substack.com/subscribe