The Wednesday Audio

I’ll save you the need to listen to this episode by just giving you the best bit here:

46 episodes of this.

46 Wednesdays wasted.

46 Wednesdays of me saying YES.

46 Wednesdays of slagging off James Clear.

46 Wednesdays of banned words.

46 Wednesdays of satire.

45.5 Wednesdays of average satire.

46 times you said you wouldn’t keep listening because it’s weird, but 46 times you keep coming back because you can’t stay away.

Yes.

Around episode 15 of The Wednesday Audio things began to take a dark turn. I became sick of the content, sick of the Tesco Value Popcorn, and I began to revolt. What started as a genuine, heartfelt podcast turned into something that mercilessly rips into James Clear and the silliness of online hustle culture.

I wouldn’t change it for a second.

But what would it have been like if I hadn’t slowly descended into madness?

How would this podcast sound if it was Pure Uncut Content, scripted, smiley, happy and very much endlessly positive?

Well, probably something like this.

This is probably the maddest episode I’ve ever made.

In the 44 episodes of madness that have whilst creating this spectacle, it would be fair to say I haven’t learned much. It would be fairer to say that that is by design—this podcast after all is satire int it. But if I was forced to admit something and be bold and say one thing that I have learned, it’s that confidence trumps all.

Confidence to pretend that you know what’s going to happen next. Confidence to pretend you know what you’re going to write next. Confidence in the fact that you don’t even know how the sentence will end, but you have the bolshy confidence to hope that people know what bolshy means, and even if they don’t you’ll use it anyway.

That kind of confidence.

In episode 44, I reach Peak Confidence. Confidence enough to both talk about the podcast process whilst creating the podcast and pretending to know what’s going to happen next. After all, this is satire isn’t it? And satire means you don’t know if I’m being serious or not.

I might have winged that entire last epsiode that you now have the unfortunate task of listening to. I might have. But I also might have carefully planned it.

I might have.

Content warning: this piece is positive.

The positivity will continue until the podcast is done.

Look at ya.

I mean, look at ya.

Sat there, reading this, waiting for something to happen. Waiting for some ins*ght. Waiting for the c*ntent to enlighten you. To warm your soul. To make you feel better.

Well, we don’t sell that sort of content around here my friend. That sort of content is peddled by the other lot, and that’s not what this is.

This is The Wednesday Audio pal. This is something entirely different. It’s a different flavour. It’s multi-layered satire. It’s multi-layered like vegan cheese wrapped in cheddar cheese wrapped in beef. It’s multi-layered.

We don’t sell your kind of content around here.

You’ll get what you’re given, and you’ll like it.

In this episode, I attempt to clarify my position on clarifications. Not satisified with my clarification of the clarifications, I further clarify my position several times. Just to clarify, I like to clarify what I want to say whilst clarifying what I don’t want to say.

Just to be clear.

Clarity is important.

I’m as surprised as you that this podcast made it to episode 40. I’ve been doing it nearly a year now. It started off with good intentions. Noble intentions. Proper intentions.

Then something happened. I got sick of reading threads on Twitter.

I started ranting a bit. Started throwing more music in. Started throwing random sound effects in. Started making up “bits” and “sections” and “features”.

Before I knew it I’d become satire. People told me they liked the madness car crash of the podcast. Some friends texted me asking me if I was having a mental breakdown. Some friends texted me asking me if I had become a drug addict of the drugs.

I shrugged it off and decided to continue. Stoically, I fight the good fight. I turn up each week and fight for Wednesdays to be recognised globally.

The fight continues. This is just the beginning.

p.s. I refer to the year as 2021 at least once in this episode. That wasn’t intentional. That was actually a mistake. But it’s satire int it so maybe you’ll fashion a narrative as to why I really did that.

Apparently there’s this thing where you make a thing and then you can use that thing to make another thing. But you don’t make another thing—not really—you just make a bit of that first thing into a new bit of a new thing.

Apparently, this is called content repurposing, and it allows you to create just one thing that you can keep spinning out into other things.

Well, since I have lots of episodes now I decided to see if I could make an episode based off lots of other things from previous episodes. It was hard work actually. Bloody hard work.

It’s easier to make new things, honestly.

It’s my birthday soon, so I thought I’d treat you to a full-bodied episode. I throw everything at it, give you as many sound effects as possible, every feature possible, everything including the kitchen sink.

I couldn’t have given more v*lue. I’m sucked dry now.

I’m sucked dry.

In this week’s episode:

* SHOW NEWS

* LISTENER MISSIVES

* BANNED WORDS BIN OR BAND WORDS BIN

* I WOULDN’T SAY

* F IS FOR FAKE BILL BURR

* NAVAL GAZING

* JEAR CLAIMS

* TOBY’S TITULAR TIPS

* THE ACTUAL CONTENT