Check out our highlight reel for season 2 of The WinShape Marriage Podcast. We’ve loved being a part of your weekly routine through the fall and winter—thank you for engaging with us! As we officially wrap season 2, Rob Philo and Marlee Arnold run through their eight biggest takeaways from this season. With so many amazing guests ranging from Dr. Gary Chapman to most recently Nick Stumbo, it was hard to choose just eight. Tune into today’s episode for a high-level overview of what you might have missed. Then, catch up on any episodes you didn’t listen to when they were first released. We’ll see you later this year for season 3!

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Time Stamps:

(1:26) Dr. Gary Chapman – On a scale of 0 – 10, how full is your love tank?

(4:13) Bradley Joseph – A benefit for your marriage of playing with your spouse

(7:05) Dr. Greg Smalley – Make sure your spouse knows fully they are your loyalty and top priority 

(12:10) Dr. David Banks – One piece of advice for any couple regardless of how long they’ve been married

(16:28) Genee Francis – How gratitude can help your spouse think about himself/herself differently

(20:27) Dr. Rob & Amy Rienow – I wish we focused more on the positive

(26:12) Dr. Juli Slattery – Comparing sex to a box of LEGO

(31:07) Scott Kedersha – Couples who struggle are bored and tired

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Links:

Download the free Creating a Vision for Your Marriage Workbook https://airtable.com/appzg0DO93ibXJtNo/pag2Q81SiX49xkjZX/form?prefill_Download=Creating+a+Vision+for+Your+Marriage&hide_Download=true

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

Pastor & Ministry Leader Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/ministry-retreats/

Spark deeper conversation with your spouse related to the episode with our free discussion questions. https://marriage.winshape.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2025/02/WSMPodcastDiscussionQuestions-S2Ep20-1.pdf

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Relevant Resources:

“How To Create a Vision for Your Marriage” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/setting-a-vision-for-your-marriage/

“100 Date Ideas for Couples” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/100-date-ideas-for-couples/

“280 Free Printable Conversation Starters for Couples” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/conversation-starters-for-date-night/

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Relevant Episodes:

How To Love Your Spouse Well | Dr. Gary Chapman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gI2Bnl_lBzc&t=131s

Making Your Marriage Fun Again! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjZQkSDz3UA&t=883s

Getting on the Same Page at Christmas https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6p5iRioIvY&t=3442s

Understanding the Honeymoon Phase and the Seven-Year Itch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAXg5K_cIEE

Building a Culture of Gratitude in Your Marriage https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7Iibms1kUk&t=964s

What We Wish We Knew Earlier in Marriage | Dr. Rob & Amy Rienow https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDtA5hxzvMs

God’s Design for Sex in Marriage | Dr. Juli Slattery https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mY5u0EL6HzI&t=61s

6 Common Traits of Couples Who Struggle | Scott Kedersha https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWp0Eh7X5B0&t=1329s

What’s the best marriage advice you’ve ever received? In this episode, Rob Philo and Marlee Arnold sit down to reflect on the wisdom, lessons, and practical tips they've learned during their time with WinShape Marriage. From profound spiritual insights to helpful daily reminders, they unpack the life-changing advice that has helped them navigate marriage in the early years.

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Time Stamps:

(3:49) “Women like to process life together and men like to do life together.”

(8:30) Luke 2:52—Jesus grew in wisdom and stature

(12:31) It’s OK to just sit and be together with your spouse

(17:00) “Is it your spouse or the season?”

(20:55) When you “do” something with your spouse, how do each of you experience it differently?

(26:20) What is actually happening when you experience conflict

(31:09) “I already know what you’re going to say...because I am you.”

(36:51) “Do you want to be right or in relationship?”

(38:31) “Am I listening to understand or to respond?”

(40:40) It is vital to continue celebrating and playing together throughout your marriage

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Links:

Luke 2:52 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%202%3A52&version=NIV

The Magic Ratio: The Key to Relationship Satisfaction https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-magic-ratio-the-key-to-relationship-satisfaction/

Can You Read Your Spouse’s Mind? https://www.instagram.com/p/CfcYZW8lZxa/?img_index=1 

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

100 Date Ideas for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/100-date-ideas-for-couples/

Pastor & Ministry Leader Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/ministry-retreats/

----------

Relevant Episodes:

Intimacy Is More Than Just Sex | Dr. Juli Slattery https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-Ky8vS5aWo&t=1544s

What Research Suggests About Husbands and Wives | Shaunti Feldhahn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFbdfLEuFew&t=1770s

Understanding the Honeymoon Phase and the Seven-Year Itch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAXg5K_cIEE

How To Have Better Arguments With Your Spouse https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdfGBQ-yU7s&t=338s

Making Your Marriage Fun Again! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjZQkSDz3UA&t=883s

Did you know 61% of the U.S. population (men and women) say they view pornography and 54% of practicing Christians (men and women) say they view pornography—only a 7% difference—according to the latest research. Additionally, only 11% of practicing Christians say they feel comfortable talking to their pastor about this struggle. Pornography is pervasive among our culture, even those with a Christian worldview. On today’s episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast, Rob Philo talks with Nick Stumbo, executive director of Pure Desire, an organization dedicated to providing resources for those struggling with sexual brokenness, addiction, and betrayal. Nick shares his personal testimony with sexual brokenness and redemption. He also breaks down the latest research Pure Desire conducted with Barna Group regarding pornography use. The data is surprising. Tune into this fascinating conversation!

Note: This conversation is focused on building a healthy, thriving marriage. If you are experiencing abuse in your marriage, or someone you know is, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. If someone is monitoring your device, call the hotline 24/7 at 1−800−799−7233. Learn more about what defines an abusive relationship.

----------

Time Stamps:

(1:58) What first inspired Nick to step into the sexual brokenness and redemption space

(11:50) Understanding the inspiration behind the research study Pure Desire conducted with Barna Group

(19:41) Why people may be afraid to share their struggle with pornography with their community

(22:58) The impact of pornography on mental health and well-being

(25:40) How pornography use affects marriage

(31:17) Taking the first step towards recovery

(37:08) What advice Nick would give to someone as a first starting point who is struggling with a pornography addiction

(46:06) Resources for those interested

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Links:

Pure Desire https://puredesire.org/

Beyond the Porn Phenomenon https://marriage.winshape.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2025/02/BTPP-Media-Fact-Sheet.pdf

5 Steps to Freedom from Porn https://puredesire.org/5-steps-to-freedom-from-porn/

7 Keys to Understanding Betrayal Trauma https://puredesire.org/free-ebook-7-keys-to-understanding-betrayal-trauma/

Genesis 1:27 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%201%3A27&version=ESV

James 5:16 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=james%205%3A16&version=ESV

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

100 Date Ideas for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/100-date-ideas-for-couples/

The Journey https://marriage.winshape.org/journey/

----------
Relevant Resources:

"How To Find a Marriage Counselor” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-find-a-marriage-counselor/

Happy Valentine’s Day—almost—from WinShape Marriage! We know Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, so Marlee Arnold and Rob Philo pulled together a list of 20 Valentine’s Day gift ideas—10 for the guys and 10 for the gals. Even if you think Valentine’s Day is overrated, don’t miss the opportunity to show your spouse a little extra love by getting something meaningful for them. We have a variety of ideas ranging from experiential to material and budget-friendly to more expensive. You’ll have no reason not to get your husband or wife a Valentine’s Day gift after listening to this episode!

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Time Stamps:

(1:28) #1 – Comfortable socks

(2:45) #2 – Cozy gift basket featuring socks, bath bombs, candle, eye mask, etc.

(4:10) #3 – Heated coffee mug

(4:34) #4 – Morning to yourself and breakfast in bed

(5:17) #5 – Gift certificate for a lesson such as a golf lesson

(5:50) #6 – Gift certificate for a spa day

(6:45) #7 – Devotional

(7:13) #8 – Planned date night

(9:13) #9 – Pickleball paddles

(9:34) #10 – Bible

(10:25) #11 – Tickets for a sporting event

(11:09) #12 – Getting the car detailed

(12:24) #13 – Wallet

(13:06) #14 – Personalized blanket

(14:34) #15 – Tool set

(16:12) #16 – Watercolor painting of first home

(17:30) #17 – Massage gun

(18:35) #18 – Perfume

(19:27) #19 – Adventurous experience

(20:02) #20 – Digital photo album

----------

Links:

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

----------

Relevant Resources:

“30 Valentine’s Day Gifts for Him” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/30-valentines-day-gifts-for-him/

“30 Valentine’s Day Gifts for Her” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/30-valentines-day-gifts-for-her/

“15 Valentine’s Day Date Ideas for Couples” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/valentines-day-date-ideas/

“DIY Valentine’s Day Baskets for Your Spouse or Kids” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/diy-valentines-day-baskets-for-your-spouse-or-kids/

Intimacy is so much more than just sex. We talked about this earlier in season two with Dr. Juli Slattery, and today’s episode builds on this conversation. Genee Francis, assistant director of content and programming at WinShape Marriage is back on The WinShape Marriage Podcast to break down the six different types of intimacy with Rob Philo. They are spiritual, emotional, intellectual, creative, experiential, and physical. Learn what each one means and practical ways you and your spouse can begin growing and continue growing in your intimacy with one another.

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Time Stamps:

(1:32) Definition of intimacy

(4:00) Spiritual intimacy

(6:23) Emotional intimacy

(8:25) Intellectual intimacy

(12:59) Creative intimacy

(15:29) Experiential intimacy

(18:40) Physical intimacy

(22:02) How the six types of intimacy work together

(25:29) How to balance the different types of intimacy 

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Links:

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

The Journey https://marriage.winshape.org/journey/

260 Free Printable Conversation Starters for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/conversation-starters-for-date-night/

Spark deeper conversation with your spouse related to the episode with our free discussion questions. https://marriage.winshape.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2025/01/WSMPodcastDiscussionQuestions-S2Ep16.pdf

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Relevant Resources:

“Six Different Types of Intimacy: Worksheet” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/six-different-types-of-intimacy-worksheet/

----------

Relevant Episodes:

How To Love Your Spouse Well | Dr. Gary Chapman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gI2Bnl_lBzc&t=131s

Making Your Marriage Fun Again! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjZQkSDz3UA&t=96s

Intimacy Is More Than Just Sex | Dr. Juli Slattery https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-Ky8vS5aWo&t=1544s

Growing Your Relationship With God and Your Spouse in 2025 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcfI9tHeTh8&t=1396s

Shaunti Feldhahn is a social researcher, author, and speaker, and today, she’s on The WinShape Marriage Podcast with Rob Philo breaking down her fascinating research on what husbands need most from their wives and vice versa. Her findings may surprise you more than you think. Together, Rob and Shaunti unpack why husbands need companionship and to know they “did good” as opposed to why wives need to be shown they are lovable and physical affection outside the bedroom, to name a few. If research interests you, listen to this episode with an open mind and consider, “What of this is true of me?”; “What of this is true of my spouse?” Then, unpack your thoughts with your spouse in a follow-up conversation.

Note: This conversation is focused on building a healthy, thriving marriage. If you are experiencing abuse in your marriage, or someone you know is, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. If someone is monitoring your device, call the hotline 24/7 at 1−800−799−7233. Learn more about what defines an abusive relationship.

----------

Time Stamps:

(1:00) Introduction to Shaunti Feldhahn

(2:25) What husbands need most: companionship

(8:04) To know they “did good”

(15:20) Two words—thank you

(19:46) What wives need most: to be shown she is loved and lovable

(26:35) Physical affection outside the bedroom

(29:36) A sense of deep security in you rather than in your finances

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Links:

“What Husbands Need Most From Their Wives (Part 1)" https://shaunti.com/2024/02/what-husbands-need-most-from-their-wives-part-1/

“What Husbands Need Most From Their Wives (Part 2)" https://shaunti.com/2024/02/what-husbands-need-most-from-their-wives-part-2/

“What Wives Need Most From Their Husbands (Part 1)" https://shaunti.com/2024/02/what-wives-need-most-from-their-husbands-part-1/

“What Wives Need Most From Their Husbands (Part 2)" https://shaunti.com/2024/03/what-wives-need-most-from-their-husbands-part-2/

“For Women Only” https://shaunti.com/shauntis-books/for-women-only/

“For Men Only” https://shaunti.com/shauntis-books/for-men-only/

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

100 Date Ideas for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/100-date-ideas-for-couples/

Pastor & Ministry Leader Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/ministry-retreats/

Spark deeper conversation with your spouse related to the episode with our free discussion questions. https://marriage.winshape.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2025/01/WSMPodcastDiscussionQuestions-S2Ep15.pdf

Spiritual formation is a “fancy” term that basically means being on a journey of becoming more and more like Jesus. What if your only goal in 2025 was to become more like Him? How would that impact your marriage for the better? Marlee Arnold sits down with Jeremy Marshall, senior manager of learning and development at WinShape Foundation. Together, they discuss what it means to encourage your spouse in their individual faith journey, how you and your spouse might relate to God differently, and what it means to spiritually lead in your marriage. There’s nothing more fundamental to your marriage relationship than your relationship with God and how that impacts your marriage. Tune into this enlightening conversation.

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Time Stamps:

(1:14) Introduction to Jeremy Marshall and his role at the WinShape Foundation

(2:45) What is spiritual formation?

(4:10) Where does spiritual formation intersect with becoming one with your spouse in marriage?

(7:05) How can you support your spouse on their individual spiritual formation journey?

(14:10) What does it look like to grow together spiritually in your marriage?

(20:00) What is, “Sacred Pathways?”

(24:54) What is spiritual leadership and how does that terminology sit with Jeremy as a husband of 22 years

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Links:

“Sacred Pathways” https://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Pathways-Discover-Your-Souls/dp/0310329884

Spiritual Pathways Assessment https://groupleaders.org/curriculum-feed/spiritual-pathways-activity#personal-assessment

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

Pastor & Ministry Leader Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/ministry-retreats/

The Journey https://marriage.winshape.org/journey/

Spark deeper conversation with your spouse related to the episode with our free discussion questions. https://marriage.winshape.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2025/01/WSMPodcastDiscussionQuestions-S2Ep14.pdf 

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Relevant Episodes:

What Does Spiritual Leadership Mean, Anyway? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7g0T2-8izo&t=57s

Happy New Year from WinShape Marriage! We know the new year inspires many to create a list of resolutions they hope to accomplish, so we’re providing a unique twist on this practice. Instead of creating New Year’s resolutions, consider making a 2025 bucket list of date ideas for you and your spouse to check off throughout the year. To get you started, Marlee Arnold and Rob Philo run through their list of 25 date ideas for 2025 featuring some tried-and-true ideas like booking a spa day, some of their personal favorites such as having a themed night, and some brand-new ideas like having an upside-down dinner. This lighthearted episode will help you ease into the new year with excitement and anticipation for all the fun to come with your spouse in 2025!

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Time Stamps:

(1:08) #1 – Participate in a glassblowing class

(2:52) #2 – Take on Rob’s “farmers market challenge”

(4:11) #3 – Write “open when” letters

(5:50) #4 – Book a couple photo shoot

(6:53) #5 – Have a board game marathon

(8:02) #6 – Attend a live concert or performance

(8:32) #7 – Play mini golf

(9:34) #8 – Have a themed date night

(11:23) #9 – Drive to see fall foliage

(12:24) #10 – Book a spa day

(13:14) #11 – Visit a Christmas tree farm

(14:26) #12 – Go on a lunch date

(15:20) #13 – Go on a food tour

(16:27) #14 – Book a cool Airbnb

(17:18) #15 – Recreate your first date

(19:10) #16 – Rate the animals at the zoo or aquarium

(19:56) #17 – Have a “color date”

(21:24) #18 – Pick your next date night restaurant on Yelp

(22:06) #19 – Watch a documentary

(23:43) #20 – Participate in a candle making glass

(24:32) #21 – Go to an open mic night

(25:10) #22 – Volunteer

(25:50) #23 – Have a movie marathon

(27:07) #24 – Paint

(28:10) #25 – Have an upside-down dinner

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Links:

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

2025 Date Ideas Bucket List PDF https://marriage.winshape.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2025/01/2025-Date-Idea-Bucket-List.png

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Relevant Resources:

“100 Date Ideas for Couples” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/100-date-ideas-for-couples/

“12 New Year’s Resolutions for Couples” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/12-new-years-resolutions-for-couples/

Merry Christmas from WinShape Marriage! As joyous as the holiday season can be, we know that trying to align you and your spouse’s calendars with the calendars of your in-laws and extended family can be challenging and even cause some tension. On today’s Christmas themed episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast, Marlee Arnold and Rob Philo interview several WinShape Marriage friends to get their perspectives. Every family has their own established rhythms and traditions which is why we asked multiple spouses the same three questions to hear their unique responses. Learn how these spouses currently navigate conversations around holiday schedules (and how they’ve navigated discussions in the past) with one another and with their in-laws and extended families as well as their best piece of advice for couples of all ages when it comes to this hot topic.

Spoiler—there are several similar themes that emerge like:

—Talking about holiday schedules early

—Being flexible as you enter different seasons of marriage

—Remembering your spouse is your first priority

It’s likely most of you have already locked in your plans for the 2024 Christmas season—we get it. So, consider listening to this episode through the lens of, “How can we approach this conversation differently in 2025, especially if it didn’t go well this year?” Whatever you’ve already experienced this holiday season and considering the days leading up to Christmas, from all of us here at WinShape Marriage, we wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas!

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Time Stamps:

(1:10) The Francis Family—Genee and Rashad Francis; Genee, Assistant Director of Content and Programming at WinShape Marriage

(11:52) The Agan Family—Bob and Suzanne Agan, WinShape Marriage Host Couple

(22:35) The Smalley Family—Dr. Greg (Erin) Smalley, Vice President of Marriage and Family Formation at Focus on the Family

(36:23) The Deagle Family—William and Jessica Deagle, WinShape Marriage Host Couple

(49:46) The Feldhahn Family—Shaunti (Jeff) Feldhahn, Social Researcher, Author, and Speaker

(58:26) The Arnold Family and The Philo Family—Cohosts Marlee Arnold and Rob Philo

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Links:

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

WinShape Marriage Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/retreats/

260 Free Printable Conversation Starters for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/conversation-starters-for-date-night/

----------

Relevant Resources:

“How To Find a Marriage Counselor” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-find-a-marriage-counselor/

“10 Tips to Foster Positive Communication at Christmas” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/10-tips-to-foster-positive-communication-at-christmas/

“How To Tell Your Parents You Won’t Be Home for Christmas” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/how-to-tell-your-parents-you-wont-be-home-for-christmas/

Sometimes, it’s what you don’t do in your marriage that makes the biggest difference. Scott Kedersha, the marriage and family pastor at Harris Creek Baptist Church in Waco, Texas, joins Rob Philo on today’s episode of The WinShape Marriage Podcast to unpack six common characteristics he’s noticed in couples who struggle in their marriage. Don’t fret—he provides practical, biblical advice for counteracting these traits. Learn how isolation impacts your marriage, boredom is dangerous, and humility shifts conflict. Whether you desire to break out of a rut or you want to strengthen your marriage foundation, this episode is packed with actionable insights.

----------

Time Stamps:

(7:00) Neither spouse is pursuing Jesus

(13:14) They don’t know how to communicate or manage conflict

(17:18) They tend to find themselves isolated and absent from strong community

(21:13) They’re bored and tired

(27:31) They blame their spouse

(31:13) They’re not committed, and they look for a way out

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Links:

Common Characteristics Of Couples Who Struggle https://www.scottkedersha.com/blog-pages/common-characteristics-of-couples-who-struggle

WinShape Marriage Website https://marriage.winshape.org/

WinShape Marriage Instagram https://www.instagram.com/winshapemarriage/

260 Free Printable Conversation Starters for Couples https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/conversation-starters-for-date-night/

Pastor & Ministry Leader Retreats https://marriage.winshape.org/ministry-retreats/

Spark deeper conversation with your spouse related to the episode with our free discussion questions. https://marriage.winshape.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2024/12/WSMPodcastDiscussionQuestions-S2Ep11-1.pdf

----------

Relevant Resources:

“Let’s Talk Marriage Communication Exercises” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/lets-talk-marriage-communication-exercises/

“Seven Ideas: How To Communicate Better With Your Spouse” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/seven-ideas-how-to-communicate-better-with-your-spouse/

“Four Steps To Repairing Conflict With Your Spouse” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/4-steps-to-repairing-conflict/

“Conflict Resolution Strategies” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/conflict-resolution-strategies/

“100 Date Ideas for Couples” https://marriage.winshape.org/resource/100-date-ideas-for-couples/

----------

Relevant Episodes:

How To Have Better Arguments With Your Spouse https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdfGBQ-yU7s&t=337s

Making Your Marriage Fun Again! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjZQkSDz3UA