Kait, Renata, and Rob Lowe’s Other Nemesis Steve read Stories I Can’t Tell My Friends by Renata’s Nemesis, Rob Lowe. In addition to a lot of grade-A 80s celebrity gossip, we learned a lot about Rob Lowe, such as how important he thinks celebrities are and how Cary Grant once gave him a soap on a rope. Listen now to hear Renata over-explain why Rob Lowe is “a hot Paul Harvey.”

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Renata’s Moth story about Rob Lowe

Rob Lowe Can’t Read dot com

Rob Lowe’s George magazine

The Rest of the Story: Paul Harvey, Conservative Talk Radio Pioneer

Candy pairing:  Kait says weird Lindt truffles, Renata says expensive airport candy, Steve says a Charms Blow Pop.

Coming up next: Hollow Earth by John & Carole Barrowman.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Kait, Renata, and their guests Ally (of Join the Girl Gang) and Katelyn (of Women of Library History) read the classic evangelical Christian romance novel Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. It’s AU Bible fanfiction based on the Book of Hosea, a minor prophet’s story of a fallen woman and the man who loved her, and also Israel. Francine Rivers has transformed it into the story of a good Christian cowboy who marries a soiled dove because God told him to (although it took her awhile to get the memo, possibly due to the Lord’s confusing font choices.) In the end, they all live happily ever after, except for the bad prostitutes who died in a fire, and also the podcasters who had to read this.

Content warning: This book contains child abuse, rape, racism, religious prejudice, and Satan, and so does our discussion of it.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Beautiful Cinnamon Roll Too Good For This World, Too Pure

Hugh Jackman’s Australia shower scene

Candy pairing:  Ally says Testamints, Kait says Bible verse chocolates, Katelyn says soiled Dove promises, Renata says milk.

Coming up next: Stories I Only Tell My Friends by Rob Lowe.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Kait, Renata, and their guest Margaret (of Two Bossy Dames and Appointment Television) read The Perfect Letter by Chris Harrison. It’s a somewhat competently written romance novel by the host of The Bachelor (and/or an uncredited, under-appreciated ghostwriter). Sadly for us, it has nothing to do with the seedy world of reality television and is instead set in the wholesome world of publishing/horse farms/petty crime. It’s a book that celebrates the power of the written word while sadly undervaluing the importance of sex paperwork. Happy Day After Valentine’s Day! We hope you enjoy your discounted chocolate and free podcasts!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: DIY Sex Paperwork

Chris Harrison, the Reigning King of #BachelorNation

Candy pairing:  Kait says chili pepper chocolate, Margaret says a carne asada burrito, Renata says a gummy rattlesnake.

Coming up next: Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Kait, Renata, and their returning guest Nicole (of OWL Reviews) read Gerald’s Game by Stephen King and concluded: there’s a good reason this isn’t one of King’s better-known works. What should have been a compelling psychological horror short story is a gross, bloated novel about the importance of sex paperwork. (Of course, regular listeners of Worst Bestsellers are already aware of the importance of sex paperwork.) Even the fact that the titular Gerald dies in the first chapter wasn’t enough to make this enjoyable to our misandrist sensibilities. Join us for this upsetting journey to Maine!

Content warning: This book contains sexual assault and child abuse and so does our discussion of it.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Cannes: Stephen King Novel ‘Gerald’s Game’ To Be Adapted By ‘Oculus’ Helmer Mike Flanagan And Intrepid Pictures

“Degloving” on Wikipedia

The French copy of Gerald’s Game, abandoned at a hostel, which tragically made Renata think this book would be much more exciting than it actually is

Candy pairing:  Kait says baking chocolate, Nicole says gumballs, Renata says peeled grapes at a Halloween party.

Coming up next: The Perfect Letter by Chris Harrison.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

For this special episode, Kait, Renata, and their guests Amy (of Join the Girl Gang and Panels), Caroline (of Fantastic Fangirls and Panels), and Samuel (a dazzling youth) all read Twilight Life and Death, the 10th anniversary, gender-swapped edition of Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. We broke down what we liked about the gender swapped version (Julie of the Werewolves) and what we didn’t (Jeremy is a real downgrade from Jessica) and attempted to unpack teenage sexuality in the world of the Twilight saga. Most importantly: Stephenie Meyer played The Rock, Paper, Snikt with us.

Spoiler warning: In this episode we briefly discussed Star Wars: The Force Awakens, just in case you haven’t seen it yet and are still concerned about spoilers.

Readers advisory: Twilight

New Moon

Footnotes: Twilight vs. Life and Death: A sexy vampire glossary

Fangirl’s Guide to the Galaxy review

Twife or Death

36 Ways Twilight changes when the genders are reversed

Twilight Wiki: Sulpicia

Twilight Wiki: Life and Death to Twilight Book Differences

Storytellers: New Voices of the Twilight Saga

Fanfiction 101

oh my god, I can go on record saying that one difference between old and new twilight is @TheRock oh my god pic.twitter.com/azCqpn5EJL

— alexis nedd (@alexisthenedd) October 6, 2015

@alexisthenedd haha I would whistle at her…!!

— Dwayne Johnson (@TheRock) October 6, 2015

Saw the new Twilight book.. just call me “The Whistler”;) https://t.co/BG6NnWgaMZ

— Dwayne Johnson (@TheRock) October 7, 2015

Coming up next: Gerald’s Game by Stephen King.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Tune in to our Bests & Worsts of 2015 episodes to hear us discuss these titles and read excerpts from our favorites and least favorites! Please note:

5.) Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, & The Prison of Belief by Lawrence Wright

4.) The Martian by Andy Weir

3.) We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson

2.) Collected Ghost Stories by M. R. James

1.) Annihilation (Southern Reach Trilogy) by Jeff VanderMeer

The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

5.) The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo

4.) Pioneer Girl: The Annotated Autobiography by Laura Ingalls Wilder & Pamela Smith Hill

3.) Between The World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates

2.) The Unspeakable: And Other Topics of Conversation by Meghan Daum

1.) Lafayette in the Somewhat United States by Sarah Vowell

I’m Not a Terrorist But I’ve Played One on TV by Maz Jobrani

5.) Kaptara by Chip Zdarsky & Kagan McLeod

4.) The Wicked + The Divine by Kieron Gillen & Jamie McKelvie

3.) Wytches by Scott Snyder & Jock

2.) The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl by Ryan North & Erica Henderson

1.) Bitch Planet by Kelly Sue DeConnick & Valentine DeLandro

An excerpt from Bitch Planet (click to embiggen):

Locke & Key by Joe Hill & Gabriel Rodriguez

An excerpt from Locke & Key (click to embiggen):

5.) All-New X-Factor by Peter David & Giuseppe Camuncoli 

4.) Roller Girl by Victoria Jamieson

3.) The Sandman: Overture by Neil Gaiman & J. H. Williams III

2.) Ms. Marvel by G. Willow Wilson & Adrian Alphona

1.) The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl by Ryan North & Erica Henderson

An excerpt from The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl (click to embiggen):

Arrow by Marc Guggenheim, Andrew Kreisberg, & Mike Grell

An excerpt from Arrow (click to embiggen):

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

As you might have noticed, Kait, Renata, and their special guest, Bossy Dame Sophie, read Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow and have been listening to the Broadway cast recording of Hamilton the musical non-stop. We want you, too, to be in the room where it happens, so we recorded this special Best Bestseller bonus episode to discuss our love of Hamilton and do some readers advisory for both the biography and the musical. We also played some Founding Father FMK. We hope you’ll be satisfied with the scope of our minds at work on all counts! You don’t have to wait for it–if you’re able to take a break this holiday season, add some more items to your overflowing TBR list!

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: @Lin-Manuel on Twitter

#HamBio on Twitter

Lin-Manuel Miranda Discusses How Hip-Hop Influenced Him and Hamilton

All the Hip-Hop References in Hamilton: A Track-by-Track Guide

How Lin-Manuel Miranda Shapes History

Playlist: The Sounds That Shaped Hamilton

Sophie’s HamilFeels Spotify Playlist

Read Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Genius Annotations for Hamilton

Lin-Manuel Miranda on Jay Z, The West Wing, and 18 More Things That Influenced Hamilton

A Very Hammy Holiday (The Hamilton Gift Guide)

Interactive Constitution

Fanfiction 101

Oh this is good. https://t.co/vSeSpcqzIY

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) December 30, 2015

Coming up next: Bests & Worsts of 2015 (Part 2, Adults and Graphic Novels)

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Tune in to our Bests & Worsts of 2015 episodes to hear us discuss these titles and read excerpts from our favorites and least favorites! Please note:

5.) Long Lankin by Lindsey Barraclough

4.) The Night Gardener by Jonathan Auxier

3.) The Cabinet of Curiosities: 36 Tales Brief & Sinister by Stefan Bachmann, Katherine Catmull, Claire Legrand & Emma Trevayne

2.) The Crossover by Kwame Alexander

1.) Iron Hearted Violet by Kelly Barnhill

The Crossroads by Chris Grabenstein

5.) Gone Crazy in Alabama by Rita Williams-Garcia

4.) Absolutely Almost by Lisa Graff

3.) The War That Saved My Life by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley

2.) The Thing About Jellyfish by Ali Benjamin

1.) The Crossover by Kwame Alexander

Nightingale’s Nest by Nikki Loftin

5.) Proxy by Alex London

4.) More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera

3.) Please Ignore Vera Dietz by A. S. King

2.) Paper Valentine by Brenna Yovanoff

1.) Simon Vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli

Panic by Lauren Oliver

5.) The Carnival at Bray by Jessie Ann Foley

4.) Gabi, A Girl in Pieces by Isabel Quintero

3.) Winter by Marissa Meyer

2.) Dumplin’ by Julie Murphy

1.) Carry On by Rainbow Rowell

Alice in Zombieland by Gena Showalter

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Kait, Renata, and their returning guest Caitlin read The Mistletoe Promise by Richard Paul Evans and unanimously agreed: it’s not nearly as bad as The Christmas Sweater was! In fact we actually… kinda liked The Mistletoe Promise? We liked it almost as much as the heroine of this book likes sweet pork salads, which is a lot. Listen now to hear us learn what exactly a sweet pork salad is, plus an important moral lesson (but not the lesson we were expecting to learn).

Content warning: This book contains infant death, and so does our discussion of it.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: Fatal Distraction by Gene Weingarten

Cafe Rio Sweet Pork Salads

Alton Brown’s Mincemeat Pie

Special note: We’re having a contest and the grand prize is a signed copy of The Mistletoe Promise. Click here for details on how to enter!

Candy pairing:  Caitlin says Necco wafers, Kait says peppermint bark, Renata says kettle korn.

Coming up next: Bests & Worsts of 2015 (Part 1, Children’s and YA)

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)

Kait, Renata, and their guest Sophie (of Two Bossy Dames) read Purity by Jonathan Franzen, a length tome on technology, privacy, and mostly, how women are the worst. They are just the worst! Luckily, these women often have older men around, on whom to fixate their attention. If they’re lucky, they might even get to bone a writer! Also: Jonathan Franzen never got around to adopting that orphan to explain Youth Culture to him, and it shows. Listen now to hear us womansplain the internet!

Content warning: This book contains some questionable sexual content, and so does our discussion of it.

Readers advisory: Here.

Footnotes: The Song Franzen Called A “Great Song” At The End Of Purity Is The Worst Thing About Purity

Lunch With The FT: Jonathan Franzen

Orange Is The New Black Book Funeral

Purity by Jonathan Franzen review – dazzling, hilarious, and problematic

Candy pairing:  Kait says overpriced organic fair trade chocolate, Renata says anything that’s been recalled, Sophie says 3 Musketeers.

Coming up next: The Mistletoe Promise by Richard Paul Evans.

* Worst Bestsellers is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

(But no pressure, we’re also happy if you get these items from your local library or independent bookstore.)