When hurtful circumstances happen, we wonder, “How will I ever get over this?” Lysa TerKeurst deeply understands that feeling. Since the release of her book “It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way,” she’s received hundreds of emails, direct messages on social media and inquiries from people asking her how she got through one of the hardest seasons of her life.

The goal of the Therapy & Theology podcast is to meet you in the middle of your hurt and give you biblical answers on how to move through it. In this episode, you’ll hear a conversation between Lysa TerKeurst and her personal, licensed professional counselor, Jim Cress, as well as Proverbs 31 Ministries Director of Theological Research Dr. Joel Muddamalle. Together they will unpack depression and anxiety, helping you identify triggers and learn how to combat anxiety in a healthy way.

After listening, you’ll learn how to …

• Overcome the feeling that you’ll never get over the hurt you’re facing, and recognize small steps you can take to get through the hurt, little by little.
• Replace the negative stigma of “therapy” by gaining a healthy, biblical view of counseling for your situation.
• Find hope in the midst of devastating circumstances by seeking restoration for yourself through prayer and proven exercises to help you process your pain.

A note from Proverbs 31 Ministries: This podcast contains content that might not be suitable for young children and may serve as a trigger due to circumstances in your past. Please see the links below if you need help finding a counselor.

Helpful Links:

• Want more wisdom as you navigate hard relationship dynamics? Find practical next steps, powerful scriptures and timely guidance on how to set realistic, healthy boundaries in Lysa TerKeurst's new book, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes. In the pages of this book, Lysa's personal counselor, Jim Cress, also provides therapeutic insight surrounding the topic of boundaries, helping you confidently apply what you read. Order the Proverbs 31-exclusive version here.
• Ready to take a personal next step in finding a Christian counselor? The American Association of Christian Counselors is a great place to find the right fit for you and your circumstances.
• Has the Therapy & Theology podcast helped you personally gain a fresh, biblical perspective for what you’re facing? Tell us about it by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. When you review and rate the podcast, it helps us reach even more people with biblical Truth and therapeutic wisdom.
• Click here to view the transcript for this episode.

Our words frame our reality. The words we use are strong indicators of our personal emotional health, the health of our relationships, and whether or not we will go the distance with those relationships. By carefully watching our words, we can see relational differences as growth opportunities that bring us together instead of tearing us apart.

Colossians 4:6 (NIV) says, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” This same verse is paraphrased in The Message Bible like this: “Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out.” In this episode of Therapy & Theology, Lysa TerKeurst, Dr. Joel Muddamalle and licensed counselor Jim Cress discuss the framework needed for any healthy conversation.

After listening to this conversation, you will be equipped to …

• Discover the framework for healthy conversations by learning words to avoid and better scripts to use.
• Discern when to have important conversations without the other person shutting down or getting defensive.
• Make progress with points of contention in your relationship that you’ve previously felt stuck in knowing how to resolve.

Helpful Links: 

• Want more wisdom as you navigate hard relationship dynamics? Find practical next steps, powerful scriptures and timely guidance on how to set realistic, healthy boundaries in Lysa TerKeurst's new book, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes. In the pages of this book, Lysa's personal counselor, Jim Cress, also provides therapeutic insight surrounding the topic of boundaries, helping you confidently apply what you read. Order the Proverbs 31-exclusive version here.
• Ready to take a personal next step in finding a Christian counselor? The American Association of Christian Counselors is a great place to find the right fit for you and your circumstances.
• Has the Therapy & Theology podcast helped you personally gain a fresh, biblical perspective for what you’re facing? Tell us about it by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. When you review and rate the podcast, it helps us reach even more people with biblical Truth and therapeutic wisdom.
• Click here to download A Healthy Way to Have Hard Conversations.
• Click here to view the transcript for this episode.

We can love people … but we can’t change them. So what can we do? Draw necessary, healthy boundaries. It may feel overwhelming or even unloving at times, but what if boundaries are the unlikely thing needed to help your most difficult relationships?

In this episode, Lysa TerKeurst, Dr. Joel Muddamalle and licensed counselor Jim Cress help you …

• Overcome the frustrating cycle of ineffective boundary-setting with realistic scripts and practical strategies to help you communicate, keep and implement healthier patterns.
• Discern what types of boundaries you may need in your relationships so you can live in the peace you really long for.
• Be encouraged as you find boundaries aren't just a good idea — they're a God idea.

Helpful Links:

• Want more wisdom as you navigate hard relationship dynamics? Find practical next steps, powerful scriptures and timely guidance on how to set realistic, healthy boundaries in Lysa TerKeurst's new book, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes. In the pages of this book, Lysa's personal counselor, Jim Cress, also provides therapeutic insight surrounding the topic of boundaries, helping you confidently apply what you read. Order the Proverbs 31-exclusive version here.
• Ready to take a personal next step in finding a Christian counselor? The American Association of Christian Counselors is a great place to find the right fit for you and your circumstances.
• Has the Therapy & Theology podcast helped you personally gain a fresh, biblical perspective for what you’re facing? Tell us about it by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. When you review and rate the podcast, it helps us reach even more people with biblical Truth and therapeutic wisdom.
• Click here to view the transcript for this episode.

In this episode of Therapy & Theology, you’ll hear Lysa TerKeurst; her personal, licensed counselor, Jim Cress; and Proverbs 31 Ministries Director of Theological Research Dr. Joel Muddamalle unpack the topic of narcissism. 

Listen in as Lysa, Jim and Joel discuss how to have a confrontational conversation with a narcissist — without being too confrontational. As a reminder, these episodes are not to victimize a person who struggles with narcissism but rather to shed light on this very real and often overlooked topic in the Christian world.

After listening, you will ...

• Be reminded that God is the only One who can handle worship from man, and we cannot label or define Him based on what He does or doesn’t do on our behalf.
• Learn that compassion and healthy boundaries are necessary if you are in a marriage, family or working relationship with a narcissist. 
• Understand how to have a constructive conversation with a person who has narcissistic tendencies, and know when it’s time to set stronger boundaries or even end the relationship.

A note from Proverbs 31 Ministries: The content in this podcast covers the topic of narcissism. 

Narcissism is a personality disorder that requires a medical diagnosis. Proverbs 31 Ministries does not condone labeling another person with a personality disorder. Please see the links below if you need help finding a counselor.

Helpful Links:

• Want more wisdom as you navigate hard relationship dynamics? Find practical next steps, powerful scriptures and timely guidance on how to set realistic, healthy boundaries in Lysa TerKeurst's new book, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes. In the pages of this book, Lysa's personal counselor, Jim Cress, also provides therapeutic insight surrounding the topic of boundaries, helping you confidently apply what you read. Order the Proverbs 31-exclusive version here.
• Ready to take a personal next step in finding a Christian counselor? The American Association of Christian Counselors is a great place to find the right fit for you and your circumstances.
• Has the Therapy & Theology podcast helped you personally gain a fresh, biblical perspective for what you’re facing? Tell us about it by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. When you review and rate the podcast, it helps us reach even more people with biblical Truth and therapeutic wisdom.
• Click here to view the transcript for this episode.

“Narcissism.” It’s a word that gets thrown around a lot, but what does it really mean? And how does it affect your life? 

So … what do we do if we’re in a relationship with a narcissist? And how is narcissism different than a personal struggle with selfishness? And what does selfishness teach us about our own need for God, even if we don’t struggle with narcissism? 

In this episode of Therapy & Theology, we'll unpack narcissism through a conversation between Lysa TerKeurst; her personal, licensed counselor, Jim Cress; and Proverbs 31 Ministries Director of Theological Research Dr. Joel Muddamalle. 

After listening, you will …

• Understand the medically defined character traits of a narcissist as well as the difference between narcissism and selfishness.
• Discover that the desire of a narcissist — to receive admiration and praise and to control others — is a human need that we all struggle with on some level and that only Jesus can truly fulfill. 
• Learn that compassion and healthy boundaries are necessary if you are in a marriage, family or working relationship with a narcissist.

A note from Proverbs 31 Ministries: The content in this podcast covers the topic of narcissism. 

Narcissism is a personality disorder that requires a medical diagnosis. Proverbs 31 Ministries does not condone labeling another person with a personality disorder. Please see the links below if you need help finding a counselor.

Helpful Links:

• Want more wisdom as you navigate hard relationship dynamics? Find practical next steps, powerful scriptures and timely guidance on how to set realistic, healthy boundaries in Lysa TerKeurst's new book, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes. In the pages of this book, Lysa's personal counselor, Jim Cress, also provides therapeutic insight surrounding the topic of boundaries, helping you confidently apply what you read. Order the Proverbs 31-exclusive version here.
• Ready to take a personal next step in finding a Christian counselor? The American Association of Christian Counselors is a great place to find the right fit for you and your circumstances.
• Has the Therapy & Theology podcast helped you personally gain a fresh, biblical perspective for what you’re facing? Tell us about it by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. When you review and rate the podcast, it helps us reach even more people with biblical Truth and therapeutic wisdom.
• Click here to view the transcript for this episode.

If you want to become a doctor, you go to medical school. If you want to become a lawyer, you go to law school. But the truth is, no one sends us to school to become emotionally mature. 

However, if we want our relationships to be healthy and fruitful, emotional maturity is actually a key component we must be committed to work on continually in our lives. 

Simply put, emotional maturity is emotional sobriety. It is living in such a way that our emotions are not swept up in traumas, triggers, coping mechanisms, addictions and more.

In this episode of Therapy & Theology, Lysa TerKeurst; her personal, licensed professional counselor, Jim Cress; and Proverbs 31 Ministries Director of Theological Research Dr. Joel Muddamalle talk about the signs, symptoms and cures for emotional immaturity and how we can “Be alert and of sober mind” (1 Peter 5:8) to really experience the fulfillment found in healthy relationships, secured in emotional maturity. 

After listening to this episode, you will be equipped to:

• Apply healthy coping mechanisms in your reactions and responses when your emotions get hijacked by past or present trauma.
• Learn the secret to experiencing the peace of Christ every single day by clothing yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
• Embrace the freeing truth and encouragement that a journey of growing in emotional maturity is not marked by perfection but by progress.

Friend, we pray this conversation blesses you with encouragement and practical wisdom wherever you are in your journey today!

Helpful Links:

• Want more wisdom as you navigate hard relationship dynamics? Find practical next steps, powerful scriptures and timely guidance on how to set realistic, healthy boundaries in Lysa TerKeurst's new book, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes. In the pages of this book, Lysa's personal counselor, Jim Cress, also provides therapeutic insight surrounding the topic of boundaries, helping you confidently apply what you read. Order the Proverbs 31-exclusive version here.
• Ready to take a personal next step in finding a Christian counselor? The American Association of Christian Counselors is a great place to find the right fit for you and your circumstances.
• Has the Therapy & Theology podcast helped you personally gain a fresh, biblical perspective for what you’re facing? Tell us about it by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. When you review and rate the podcast, it helps us reach even more people with biblical Truth and therapeutic wisdom.
• Click here to view the transcript for this episode.
• Here’s a list of some signs of emotional maturity or sobriety mentioned in this episode: Be committed to healthy habits, not unhealthy coping mechanisms. Operate in self-awareness, owning your stuff and taking responsibility for your actions without saying “but you …” and blaming. Express empathy. Admit your mistakes and confess them. Steer clear of judgment. Practice and enforce healthy boundaries. Seek first to understand before you’re understood; say, “Help me understand …” 

When our earthly experiences with love have left us feeling unprotected, uncertain and ultimately unloved, it’s tempting not to want to risk trusting anyone again.

And all too often, our view of love and God’s love for us is tainted by the people who have failed us. But God doesn’t want us to stay stuck in our places of hurt. He wants to heal us and help us move forward so we can experience not only the depth of His love for us but also the power of life-giving, healthy relationships with other people, fostered in an environment of authentic love both given and received.

In this episode of Therapy & Theology, Lysa TerKeurst; her personal, licensed professional counselor, Jim Cress; and Proverbs 31 Ministries Director of Theological Research Dr. Joel Muddamalle tackle some of the most important questions surrounding love and our motivations behind love, including:

• How can you love the Lord with your heart, soul and mind?
• How can you really love your neighbor as yourself?
• What is motivating your love? And what is that motivation revealing?
• Where is what you love ultimately leading you?
• How would you define love?

After this conversation, you will be equipped to:

• Understand what biblical love is, and what it isn’t, by discerning the difference between kindness and enabling.
• Know what to do if you feel stuck in an unhealthy relationship, and learn the safest outlets you can take your most important questions to, including trusted friends, a pastor or a Christian counselor.

Like Jim Cress says, “true love connects and communes.” So, friend, we pray this conversation leaves you feeling more loved by God and more equipped to pursue healthy, loving relationships with others.

Helpful Links:

• Want more wisdom as you navigate hard relationship dynamics? Find practical next steps, powerful scriptures and timely guidance on how to set realistic, healthy boundaries in Lysa TerKeurst's new book, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes. In the pages of this book, Lysa's personal counselor, Jim Cress, also provides therapeutic insight surrounding the topic of boundaries, helping you confidently apply what you read. Order the Proverbs 31-exclusive version here.
• Ready to take a personal next step in finding a Christian counselor? The American Association of Christian Counselors is a great place to find the right fit for you and your circumstances.
• Has the Therapy & Theology podcast helped you personally gain a fresh, biblical perspective for what you’re facing? Tell us about it by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. When you review and rate the podcast, it helps us reach even more people with biblical Truth and therapeutic wisdom.
• Click here to view the transcript for this episode.

All of us have facts that make up the stories of who we are. But we’re not just the sum total of these facts. There’s also the impact from these facts, which lives with us beyond the occurrence of the devastation, abuse or pain that happened to us. And in the middle of that impact, chances are there are some Shame Scripts holding us hostage from living in the freedom God so desires for us.

A Shame Script can simply be defined as a faulty belief or perception of self, others and/or God. Shame Scripts back us into isolation, making us imprisoned by lies, like …
 
You are unwanted.
You are an inconvenience.
No one really cares about you.
If you’re not performing or achieving something, you don’t have value.
You’re just not good enough.

In this episode of Therapy & Theology, Lysa TerKeurst, Jim Cress and Joel Muddamalle dive into how Shame Scripts reveal themselves personally in their lives, and this episode also discusses practical tips and tools for how we can find our way out of the shame caving us in.
 
After listening, you will be equipped to:

• Live true to your most healed, healthy, whole, holy, surrendered-to-God self and not the version of yourself that’s haunted and held back by shame.
• Replace scripts of shame with words of life by uncovering the truth, found in Genesis, of how God really made us and what He made us for.
• We pray this conversation blesses you, friend!

A note from Proverbs 31 Ministries: This podcast contains content that might not be suitable for young children and may serve as a trigger due to circumstances in your past. Please see the links below if you need help finding a counselor.

Helpful Links:

• Want more wisdom as you navigate hard relationship dynamics? Find practical next steps, powerful scriptures and timely guidance on how to set realistic, healthy boundaries in Lysa TerKeurst's new book, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes. In the pages of this book, Lysa's personal counselor, Jim Cress, also provides therapeutic insight surrounding the topic of boundaries, helping you confidently apply what you read. Order the Proverbs 31-exclusive version here.
• Ready to take a personal next step in finding a Christian counselor? The American Association of Christian Counselors is a great place to find the right fit for you and your circumstances.
• Has the Therapy & Theology podcast helped you personally gain a fresh, biblical perspective for what you’re facing? Tell us about it by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. When you review and rate the podcast, it helps us reach even more people with biblical Truth and therapeutic wisdom.
• Click here to view the transcript for this episode.

Chances are, we all have been plagued by one of the heaviest, silent battles one can fight: shame. The enemy wants us to believe this lie: We are isolated and stuck in carrying the weight of our sin and ultimately our own shame. But Jesus paved the way for us to live in freedom beyond the destructive weight and narrative that shame begs us to believe and live by.

In this episode of Therapy & Theology, Lysa TerKeurst dives deep into some of her own personal testimony and into conversation surrounding “Good Guilt Vs. Destructive Shame” with her personal, licensed professional counselor, Jim Cress, as well as Proverbs 31 Ministries Director of Theological Research Dr. Joel Muddamalle.

By listening to this episode, you will …

• Learn the distinct differences between shame, guilt, conviction and condemnation and be equipped with tools to combat the specific lies associated with each of them.
• Overcome feeling disconnected and isolated, and learn how to utilize healthy guilt that actually leads to healthy connection with God and others.
• Stop feeling alone in your shame struggle, and apply practical tools and scripts for life-giving conversations that birth compassion, empathy and vulnerability with others.

Friend, God already sees you. He is ready for you to turn to Him, even in the weight of the shame you may feel. We pray this episode blesses you!

A note from Proverbs 31 Ministries: This podcast contains content that might not be suitable for young children and may serve as a trigger due to circumstances in your past. Please see the links below if you need help finding a counselor.

Helpful Links: 

• Want more wisdom as you navigate hard relationship dynamics? Find practical next steps, powerful scriptures and timely guidance on how to set realistic, healthy boundaries in Lysa TerKeurst's new book, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes. In the pages of this book, Lysa's personal counselor, Jim Cress, also provides therapeutic insight surrounding the topic of boundaries, helping you confidently apply what you read. Order the Proverbs 31-exclusive version here.
• Ready to take a personal next step in finding a Christian counselor? The American Association of Christian Counselors is a great place to find the right fit for you and your circumstances.
• Has the Therapy & Theology podcast helped you personally gain a fresh, biblical perspective for what you’re facing? Tell us about it by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. When you review and rate the podcast, it helps us reach even more people with biblical Truth and therapeutic wisdom.
• Click here to view the transcript for this episode.

When we’ve been deeply hurt, whether by someone or by circumstances outside of our control, we often wonder if forgiveness is even possible. What if they never say they’re sorry? What if things will never feel “normal” again? Lysa TerKeurst has wrestled with these same questions.

In this episode, you will hear from Lysa as well as Proverbs 31 Ministries Director of Theological Research Dr. Joel Muddamalle and Jim Cress, Lysa’s personal, licensed professional counselor. They'll equip you to …

• Reconsider the misconceptions you've always believed about the forgiveness process, and discover seven truths — about what forgiveness is and isn't — that may surprise you. 
• Let go of any bitterness holding you back from offering forgiveness to those who hurt you, and understand the necessity of daily confession.
• Find hope in the losses that are unchangeable, or that feel unforgivable, by trusting in the character of God, even when you don’t understand what has been allowed by God. 
• Recognize what codependency is and how it may be keeping you from setting the appropriate boundaries you need to ensure that you and your relationships are healthy.

A note from Proverbs 31 Ministries: This podcast contains content that might not be suitable for young children and may serve as a trigger due to circumstances in your past. Please see the links below if you need help finding a counselor.

Helpful Links:

• Want more wisdom as you navigate hard relationship dynamics? Find practical next steps, powerful scriptures and timely guidance on how to set realistic, healthy boundaries in Lysa TerKeurst's new book, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes. In the pages of this book, Lysa's personal counselor, Jim Cress, also provides therapeutic insight surrounding the topic of boundaries, helping you confidently apply what you read. Order the Proverbs 31-exclusive version here.
• Ready to take a personal next step in finding a Christian counselor? The American Association of Christian Counselors is a great place to find the right fit for you and your circumstances.
• Has the Therapy & Theology podcast helped you personally gain a fresh, biblical perspective for what you’re facing? Tell us about it by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. When you review and rate the podcast, it helps us reach even more people with biblical Truth and therapeutic wisdom.
• Click here to view the transcript for this episode.