This Is Actually Happening

After growing up in a home shaped by violence, racism, and fear, a woman is stunned to receive an apology from the girl who bullied her in middle school, forcing her to reckon with the harm they both carried and the possibility of repair.

Today’s episode featured Christy Davis.  If you’d like to contact Christy, you can email her at [email protected]. Christy’s episode is part 2 of a 2 part series. 

Christy has recently started adding her writing to Substack: https://substack.com/@mschristy 

Today’s episode was produced in collaboration with Pauline Bartolone, and was funded in part by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, as part of its "Spreading Love Through the Media" initiative, supported by the John Templeton Foundation. 

Pauline can be reached at paulinebartolone.org and on Instagram @pmbartolone 

Producers: Whit Missildine, Pauline Bartolone

Content/Trigger Warnings: child abuse, domestic violence, emotional abuse, racism

racial slurs, bullying, physical assault, threats of violence, animal cruelty, parental infidelity, alcoholism, misogyny, depression, PTSD / trauma, medical trauma, hysterectomy, family estrangement, death of a parent, grief, explicit language

Social Media:

Instagram: @actuallyhappening

Twitter/X: @TIAHPodcast

Facebook: This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group

Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com

Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com

Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening

Audible subscribers can listen to all episodes of THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING ad-free right now. Join Audible today by downloading the Audible app or visit Audible.com. 

Read more about Whit’s insights into each episode on Beyond The Story Substack: whitmissildine.substack.com. On the Substack, Whit will be sharing personal reflections on the deeper themes that emerge from each episode and from across the conversations he’s been immersed in for years, including the psychology of radical transformation, the power of storytelling, the lessons of trauma and healing, and how we die to an old Self and are reborn. He’ll share behind-the-scenes glimpses into the making of the show and his own personal journey in creating it. 

Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. 

Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com

Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott Velasquez

Music Bed: Pure_Ambience_APM

Services

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 

National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After narrowly surviving one of the deadliest tornados in US history, a woman is driven to confront a long-buried harm, finding in the aftermath a deeper sense of purpose, forgiveness, and service.

Today’s episode featured Nanda Nunnelly. If you’d like to contact Nanda, you can email her at [email protected]. Nanda’s episode is part 1 of a 2 part series. 

Nanda’s cause and organization, Minnie Hackney Community Service Center of Joplin, is on Facebook, or you can visit the website at Minniehackneycommunityservicecenter.com. 

Today’s episode was produced in collaboration with Pauline Bartolone, and was funded in part by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, as part of its ""Spreading Love Through the Media"" initiative, supported by the John Templeton Foundation. 

Pauline can be reached at paulinebartolone.org and on Instagram @pmbartolone 

Producers: Whit Missildine, Pauline Bartolone

Content/Trigger Warnings: racism, racial terror, forced psychiatric commitment, bullying, physical assault, tornado and disaster trauma, injury, death, grief, loss of home, mental health crisis, substance use, and homelessness, explicit language

Social Media:

Instagram: @actuallyhappening

Twitter/X: @TIAHPodcast

Facebook: This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group

Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com

Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com

Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening

Audible subscribers can listen to all episodes of THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING ad-free right now. Join Audible today by downloading the Audible app or visit Audible.com. 

Read more about Whit’s insights into each episode on Beyond The Story Substack: whitmissildine.substack.com. On the Substack, Whit will be sharing personal reflections on the deeper themes that emerge from each episode and from across the conversations he’s been immersed in for years, including the psychology of radical transformation, the power of storytelling, the lessons of trauma and healing, and how we die to an old Self and are reborn. He’ll share behind-the-scenes glimpses into the making of the show and his own personal journey in creating it. 

Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. 

Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com

Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott Velasquez

Music Bed: Pure_Ambience_APM

Services

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 

National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After spending much of his life trying to outrun the feeling of being trapped, a man’s violent kidnapping on a solo motorcycle trip through Mexico forces him to reckon with the fear, rage, and longing for freedom that have shaped him since childhood.

Today’s episode featured Gary Stauble. If you’d like to reach out to Gary, you can email him at [email protected]. 

Gary is on Instagram @garystauble

Gary is on Facebook @gstauble 

Producers: Whit Missildine

Content/Trigger Warnings: kidnapping, violence, violent assault, descriptions of violent assault, childhood emotional distress, threats, explicit language

Social Media:

Instagram: @actuallyhappening

Twitter/X: @TIAHPodcast

Facebook: This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group

Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com

Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com

Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening

Audible subscribers can listen to all episodes of THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING ad-free right now. Join Audible today by downloading the Audible app or visit Audible.com. 

Read more about Whit’s insights into each episode on Beyond The Story Substack: whitmissildine.substack.com. On the Substack, Whit will be sharing personal reflections on the deeper themes that emerge from each episode and from across the conversations he’s been immersed in for years, including the psychology of radical transformation, the power of storytelling, the lessons of trauma and healing, and how we die to an old Self and are reborn. He’ll share behind-the-scenes glimpses into the making of the show and his own personal journey in creating it. 

Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. 

Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com

Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott Velasquez

Music Bed: Pure_Ambience_APM

Services

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 

National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A man grows up in a home defined by violence, secrecy, and fear, and decades later a deathbed confession confirms his belief that his father was responsible for the Chicago Tylenol murders, forcing him to reckon with a lifetime shaped by trauma and silence.

Today’s episode featured Joseph Cibelli. Joe is a former salon entrepreneur turned author, legal scholar, and forensic psychologist. He wrote The Tylenol Murders: A Father’s Confession to His Son, which investigates the 1982 Chicago Tylenol murders. 

If you’d like to contact Joe, you can email him at [email protected]. Joe is on Facebook @JosephCibelli and on Instagram @jcibelli71 

You can visit Joe’s website at josephcibelli.com. 

Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Jason Blalock

Content/Trigger Warnings: child abuse, domestic violence, psychological and physical abuse, sexual abuse, child endangerment, murder, poisoning, death, terminal illness, and threats of violence, explicit language

Social Media:

Instagram: @actuallyhappening

Twitter/X: @TIAHPodcast

Facebook: This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group

Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com

Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com

Website for Jason Blalock: jasonblalock.com

Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening

Audible subscribers can listen to all episodes of THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING ad-free right now. Join Audible today by downloading the Audible app or visit Audible.com. 

Read more about Whit’s insights into each episode on Beyond The Story Substack: whitmissildine.substack.com. On the Substack, Whit will be sharing personal reflections on the deeper themes that emerge from each episode and from across the conversations he’s been immersed in for years, including the psychology of radical transformation, the power of storytelling, the lessons of trauma and healing, and how we die to an old Self and are reborn. He’ll share behind-the-scenes glimpses into the making of the show and his own personal journey in creating it. 

Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. 

Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com

Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott Velasquez

Music Bed: Music To Air (MTA) - Houses

Services

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 

National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After decades of stability, a woman’s experience of menopause brings back a lifetime of buried symptoms and reveals an unexpected truth about her identity, forcing her to reexamine everything she thought she knew about herself.

Today’s storyteller wishes to remain Anonymous. If you’d like to reach out to her, you can email her at [email protected]. 

Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Ellen (Elly) Westberg

Content/Trigger Warnings: Suicidal ideation, mental illness, child abuse (mentioned), sexual abuse (mentioned), medical trauma, emotional distress, divorce, death of a loved one, explicit language

Social Media:

Instagram: @actuallyhappening

Twitter/X: @TIAHPodcast

Facebook: This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group

Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com

Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com

Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening

Audible subscribers can listen to all episodes of THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING ad-free right now. Join Audible today by downloading the Audible app or visit Audible.com. 

Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. 

Read more about Whit’s insights into each episode on Beyond The Story Substack: whitmissildine.substack.com. On the Substack, Whit will be sharing personal reflections on the deeper themes that emerge from each episode and from across the conversations he’s been immersed in for years, including the psychology of radical transformation, the power of storytelling, the lessons of trauma and healing, and how we die to an old Self and are reborn. He’ll share behind-the-scenes glimpses into the making of the show and his own personal journey in creating it. 

Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com

Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott Velasquez

Music Bed: KPM Main Series (KPM) - Barely There

Services

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 

National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After years working as a humanitarian aid worker in war zones and disaster areas around the world, a man is forced to confront the psychological toll of witnessing a broken world he could never fix.  

Today’s episode featured Gray Doyle.  If you’d like to email Gray, you can reach him at [email protected]. 

You can purchase Gray’s book on his website, https://meetmeinzanzibar.com/. 

Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Jason Blalock

Content/Trigger Warnings: War and armed conflict, Genocide, Mass casualties, Sexual violence / rape, Child soldiers, Violence against children, Severe physical injury and medical trauma, Death and dying, Bombings and explosions, Kidnapping and torture, Humanitarian disaster / extreme suffering, PTSD and psychological trauma, Emotional distress and rage, explicit language

Social Media:

Instagram: @actuallyhappening

Twitter/X: @TIAHPodcast

Facebook: This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group

Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com

To subscribe, find Beyond the Story on Substack by going to whitmissildine.substack.com.  

Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com

Website for Jason Blalock: jasonblalock.com

Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening

Audible subscribers can listen to all episodes of THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING ad-free right now. Join Audible today by downloading the Audible app or visit Audible.com. 

Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. 

Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com

Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott Velasquez

Music Bed: Discovery Studios Tracks (DST) - Dark Oasis

Services

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 

National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After surviving the 2015 ISIS terrorist attacks at a Paris café, a woman begins the painful work of confronting buried childhood trauma and reclaiming a life she had never fully allowed herself to live.

Today’s episode featured Mandy Palmucci. You can email Mandy at [email protected]. 

Mandy is on Instagram @palmuccim  

Mandy is currently working on a book about her experience. 

Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits

Content/Trigger Warnings: Childhood sexual abuse, Terrorism / mass shooting, Graphic violence and death, Severe injury, Survivor’s guilt, PTSD / trauma responses, Self-hatred and shame, Emotional abuse in childhood, explicit language

Social Media:

Instagram: @actuallyhappening

Twitter/X: @TIAHPodcast

Facebook: This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group

Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com

Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com

Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening

Audible subscribers can listen to all episodes of THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING ad-free right now. Join Audible today by downloading the Audible app or visit Audible.com. 

Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. 

Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com

Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott Velasquez

Music Bed: Ambient Themes

Services

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 

National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

When a family sailing journey ends in capture by child soldiers during Mozambique’s civil war, a man must protect his children while confronting the unsettling truth that his captors are both perpetrators of violence and children shaped by it.

Today’s episode featured Dave Muller. Dave has written about his experiences in a book entitled, “Just Children”, available where books are sold or at just-children.com 

You can email Dave at [email protected]

Dave is on Instagram @davenotchildsplay, on Facebook @Dave Muller and on YouTube @DaveMuller-NotChildsPlay

In the 1960s and 1970s, both South Africa and Mozambique were part of the larger decolonization of Africa, with South Africa gaining full independence from Britain in 1961 and Mozambique gaining independence from Portugal in 1975. However, in the decolonization process, both were thrown into proxy battles, between old structures clinging to power and the larger global cold war between communist and capitalist superpowers. South Africa, even after independence, was still ruled by a white minority government, under the National Party. The National Party was populated mostly by the white ethnic group known as Afrikaners who spoke a language called Afrikaans. The National Party instituted apartheid, a brutally oppressive system of institutionalized racial segregation and white supremacy enforced in South Africa from 1948 to the early 1990s. South Africa shares a northeastern border with Mozambique. When Mozambique gained independence in 1975, they were ruled by the Communist party known as FRELIMO. FRELIMO became a major force opposing apartheid in neighboring South Africa. The South African apartheid government, in response to FRELIMO’s opposition, actively destabilized Mozambique from the inside by propping up a rebel group known as RENAMO. This led to a violent 15-year civil war in Mozambique, between the ruling, communist-backed FRELIMO party and the South African-backed RENAMO rebel group. 

In the first part of today's episode, you'll hear our storyteller speak about growing up in South Africa during apartheid as a white man, but he was not an Afrikaner, and grew up in a family that was opposed to apartheid. The second part of the story takes place in Mozambique, where he and his family are held by the RENAMO rebel group and caught in the chaos and fighting between FRELIMO and RENAMO, the two warring factions in the civil war there. 

Of course there is much more to say about all of this, and Dave will speak to some of these issues as he experienced them. I encourage you all to read more about the brutal and complex history of decolonization and apartheid in Africa. 

And one final note, you’ll hear Dave talking about “Arwen” several times. In case it isn’t clear right away, he is referring to his boat that he built.

Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Aviva Lipkowitz

Content/Trigger Warnings: War and armed conflict, Child soldiers, Kidnapping / hostage situation, Graphic violence, Murder (including stabbing / bayoneting), Violence against the elderly, Exposure to blood, Threats of execution, Weapons (guns, rockets, mortar fire), Terrorism / militant groups, Civil war, Psychological trauma, PTSD, Panic attacks / emotional breakdown, Spiritual distress, Political violence, Forced recruitment of children, Coercion and intimidation, explicit language

Social Media:

Instagram: @actuallyhappening

Twitter/X: @TIAHPodcast

Facebook: This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group

Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com

Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com

Website for Aviva Lipkowitz: avivalipkowitz.com

Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening

Audible subscribers can listen to all episodes of THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING ad-free right now. Join Audible today by downloading the Audible app or visit Audible.com. 

Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. 

Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com

Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott Velasquez

Music Bed: Sparse_Reflections__a__APM

Services

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 

National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After overcoming addiction and rebuilding her life around motherhood, a woman's world is shattered when her son kills her daughter, forcing her to grieve one child while fighting to protect the other and learning how to survive an unbearable moral and emotional divide.

Today’s episode featured Charity Lee. If you’d like to email Charity, you can reach her at [email protected]. You can also find her on Facebook @IAmCharityLee 

Charity has authored a book entitled, How Now, Butterfly? A Memoir of Murder, Survival, and Transformation, available where books are sold. 

Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits

Content/Trigger Warnings: Child abuse and neglect, Domestic violence, Substance abuse and addiction, Suicide and suicide attempts, Self-harm, Child homicide, Graphic violence, Intrafamilial violence, Mental illness, Incarceration and juvenile detention, Grief and traumatic loss, Emotional abuse, Parental abandonment, Trauma and PTSD, Near-death experience / overdose, Religious and spiritual distress, explicit language

Social Media:

Instagram: @actuallyhappening

Twitter: @TIAHPodcast

Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com

Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com

Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening

Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus

Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. 

Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com

Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott Velasquez

Music Bed: Salib (SAL) - Tension Underscore 33 A

Services

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 

National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

After the sudden death of his father leaves him drowning in guilt, a man unknowingly spirals into a manic break that strips him of his freedom, his relationships, and his grip on reality, forcing him to confront bipolar disorder and rebuild his life from the ground up.

Today’s storyteller wishes to remain Anonymous. However, you can reach out to him at [email protected]. 

Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Jason Blalock

Content/Trigger Warnings: Suicide and suicide by cop, Parental death, Alcoholism, Bipolar disorder, Manic episode and psychosis, Self-harm, Arrest and incarceration, Homelessness, Police confrontation involving firearms, Mental health crisis, explicit language

Social Media:

Instagram: @actuallyhappening

Twitter: @TIAHPodcast

Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com

Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com

Website for Jason Blalock: jasonblalock.com

Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happening

Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at wondery.com/plus

Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop. 

Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com

Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott Velasquez

Music Bed: Pure_Ambience_APM

Services

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 

National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.