Content warning: Mentions of sexual assault and child sexual abuse.

We live within a system that allows sexual abuse of all kinds to flourish without much accountability, and because of that, a lot of us carry deep trauma around sex and intimacy. Rachel (Rae) Halder is one of those people, and she's also a certified trauma resolution and erotic embodiment coach with over a decade of experience helping others heal the same wounds she's been working to heal within herself.

This episode deals with some heavy themes, buuuut we also talk about the Italian hippie who worshipped Rae like a sun goddess...so it's not all doom and gloom. Hehe! This is Happy Slut, after all!

In this episode:

• Rae's journey from childhood sexual abuse survivor to trauma resolution and erotic embodiment coach
• Recovering a repressed memory years after the abuse occurred
• Why our nervous systems dissociate, freeze, and fawn during sex
• How unprocessed trauma gets stored in the body
• The devastating gray area of consensual encounters that become traumatic experiences
• Why some people intellectually want sex while their bodies experience it as unsafe
• The surprising ways trauma can masquerade as asexuality
• Growing up Mennonite and questioning patriarchal ideas about God, gender, and sexuality
• Starting a groundbreaking blog about sexual violence before the #MeToo movement
• The Italian hippie who accidentally sparked Rae's sexual awakening
• Goddess worship, tantra, and discovering what truly safe erotic connection feels like
• Chronic illness, interstitial cystitis, and the connection between trauma and the body
• Why agency, autonomy, and choice are essential ingredients for healing
• The difference between wanting sex and feeling safe enough to receive pleasure
• How survivors can reclaim their sexuality without forcing themselves past their body's limits
• What "erotic safety" actually means
• Why healing often happens more slowly—and more gently—than we want it to

FOLLOW RAE HALDER:

Website: https://www.raehalder.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rachel.rae.halder

Real Sex Substack: https://realsex.substack.com/

FOLLOW SAMIA & HAPPY SLUT:

Samia's Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/samia.mounts/

Happy Slut on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/happyslutcast/

Happy Slut on TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@happyslutcast

SUPPORT THE SHOW:

Become a paying Substack subscriber: https://samiamounts.substack.com

Venmo Samia: @Samia-Mounts / https://account.venmo.com/u/Samia-Mounts

CashApp Samia: $SamiaMounts / https://cash.app/$SamiaMounts

Email me your thoughts or pitches at [email protected]. I read every email!

Thank you, pinecones! See ya next week.

xoxo,

Samia

Mentioned in this episode:

Get a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!

Use code CLOSETED at check-out.

Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted