Content warning: Mentions of sexual assault and child sexual abuse.

We live within a system that allows sexual abuse of all kinds to flourish without much accountability, and because of that, a lot of us carry deep trauma around sex and intimacy. Rachel (Rae) Halder is one of those people, and she's also a certified trauma resolution and erotic embodiment coach with over a decade of experience helping others heal the same wounds she's been working to heal within herself.

This episode deals with some heavy themes, buuuut we also talk about the Italian hippie who worshipped Rae like a sun goddess...so it's not all doom and gloom. Hehe! This is Happy Slut, after all!

In this episode:

• Rae's journey from childhood sexual abuse survivor to trauma resolution and erotic embodiment coach
• Recovering a repressed memory years after the abuse occurred
• Why our nervous systems dissociate, freeze, and fawn during sex
• How unprocessed trauma gets stored in the body
• The devastating gray area of consensual encounters that become traumatic experiences
• Why some people intellectually want sex while their bodies experience it as unsafe
• The surprising ways trauma can masquerade as asexuality
• Growing up Mennonite and questioning patriarchal ideas about God, gender, and sexuality
• Starting a groundbreaking blog about sexual violence before the #MeToo movement
• The Italian hippie who accidentally sparked Rae's sexual awakening
• Goddess worship, tantra, and discovering what truly safe erotic connection feels like
• Chronic illness, interstitial cystitis, and the connection between trauma and the body
• Why agency, autonomy, and choice are essential ingredients for healing
• The difference between wanting sex and feeling safe enough to receive pleasure
• How survivors can reclaim their sexuality without forcing themselves past their body's limits
• What "erotic safety" actually means
• Why healing often happens more slowly—and more gently—than we want it to

FOLLOW RAE HALDER:

Website: https://www.raehalder.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rachel.rae.halder

Real Sex Substack: https://realsex.substack.com/

FOLLOW SAMIA & HAPPY SLUT:

Samia's Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/samia.mounts/

Happy Slut on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/happyslutcast/

Happy Slut on TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@happyslutcast

SUPPORT THE SHOW:

Become a paying Substack subscriber: https://samiamounts.substack.com

Venmo Samia: @Samia-Mounts / https://account.venmo.com/u/Samia-Mounts

CashApp Samia: $SamiaMounts / https://cash.app/$SamiaMounts

Email me your thoughts or pitches at [email protected]. I read every email!

Thank you, pinecones! See ya next week.

xoxo,

Samia

Mentioned in this episode:

Get a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!

Use code CLOSETED at check-out.

Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted

Ali Bravo is a professional orgy organizer, a sex positive educator, a kinky leather artist, and a powerhouse force for destigmatizing kink, pleasure, and desire. When I met her in person a couple of weeks ago at Dixie De La Tour's Birthday Forgy (Friend Orgy), she was freshly resourced from her pre-party kink scene with one of her partners, a man who goes by the moniker Pleasure Wizard (and apparently REALLY lives up to that name!), and she was leading a group of 75 excited attendees through a consent and STI disclosure demo, capping it off with a proud announcement of her own positive herpes status. WHAT. A. BOSS.

In this episode:

• What it actually takes to organize a 75-person orgy
• Why Ali uses kinky “pre-care” scenes as a leadership tool before big events
• Growing up fat, horny, and desperate for validation
• The heartbreaking origins of Ali’s pleasure journey
• Discovering orgasm, restraint, and kink later in life
• Why so many women struggle to stay connected to their bodies during sex
• How patriarchy disconnects us from pleasure
• STI disclosure, herpes stigma, and why “all the hotties have herpes”
• The hilariously absurd logistics of glory holes, Grope-a-Clown boxes, pussy pageants and cockstume contests
• Why whimsy, play, and crafts belong at sex parties
• Ali’s philosophy on polyamory, metamours, and “aurora partnerships”
• The difference between “platonic erotic” and “erotic platonic” relationships
• Why getting railed is, apparently, a public health necessity
• Building chosen family through kink and sex-positive community
• Why everything you desire might actually be on the other side of fear

READ ALI's COMPREHENSIVE STI DISCLOSURE ARTICLE:

https://momotaroapotheca.com/blogs/vaginal-wellness/talking-about-stis-how-to-have-clear-amp-caring-conversations-about-sexual-health?srsltid=AfmBOopWdLDADnQIP53Y-kY3VIm3_wZuU3z4BICMcfa2c6Fqp6lVOMAE

FOLLOW ALI BRAVO:

Ali's Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raptorbravo/

Ali's Leather Working Instragram: https://www.instagram.com/raptrix/

FOLLOW SAMIA & HAPPY SLUT:

Samia's Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/samia.mounts/

Happy Slut on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/happyslutcast/

Happy Slut on TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@happyslutcast

SUPPORT THE SHOW:

Become a paying Substack subscriber: https://samiamounts.substack.com

Venmo Samia: @Samia-Mounts / https://account.venmo.com/u/Samia-Mounts

CashApp Samia: $SamiaMounts / https://cash.app/$SamiaMounts

Email me your thoughts or pitches at [email protected]. I read every email!

Thank you, pinecones! See ya next week.

xoxo,

Samia

Mentioned in this episode:

Get a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!

Use code CLOSETED at check-out.

Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted

Mila Jam is an international pop sensation, an artivist (activist + artist), a trans icon, a rising star, and somehow magically also my friend?!?!? How did life get so cool?

Mila and I go deep in this conversation. We talk about gender, womanhood, dating, celibacy, the “boyfriend show,” patriarchal conditioning, trans visibility, intimacy, emotional labor, and why so many modern women are just…tired. Also: men will apparently fuck couches.

In this episode:

• Mila’s journey from Southern Baptist kid to trans icon
• How “the boyfriend show” can last years
• The surprising freedom of celibacy
• Why modern women are exhausted by men
• Dating while trans in pre-social media NYC
• The difference between being desired and being valued
• Ghosting, emotional cowardice, and modern dating culture
• How “women have out-menned men”
• Patriarchy, power, and emotional labor
• What women actually want from men
• How to stop accepting breadcrumb relationships
• Trans womanhood, safety, intimacy, and visibility
• The healing power of women supporting women
• Why good treatment matters more than chemistry alone

For ALL THINGS Mila: https://www.milajam.com/

Listen to Mila's music: https://open.spotify.com/artist/6m7wJXzvVyE0j6eef6pj1a?si=li_LtmpJSHaHoC99v78yIQ&nd=1&dlsi=8ce32e81b47b4973

Watch Mila's iconic music videos: https://www.youtube.com/user/milajammusic

FOLLOW MILA ON SOCIALS:

https://www.instagram.com/themilajam/

https://www.tiktok.com/@themilajam

SUPPORT THE SHOW!

Become a paying Substack subscriber: https://samiamounts.substack.com

Venmo Samia: @Samia-Mounts / https://account.venmo.com/u/Samia-Mounts

CashApp Samia: $SamiaMounts / https://cash.app/$SamiaMounts

Email me your thoughts or pitches at [email protected]. I read every email!

Thank you, pinecones! See ya next week.

xoxo,

Samia

Mentioned in this episode:

Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted

Get a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!

Use code CLOSETED at check-out.

What if queerness was infinite, instead of limited by the strict rules and norms of our patriarchal world? What if we abandoned the binary of tops and bottoms, gays and straights, women and men, and embraced the idea--nay, the reality!--that all of us are fluid, ever-changing beings with deep wellsprings of desire and turn-on we would never know about if we didn't get curious and explore? I talk about all this and more with my guest this week, James Patrick Nelson, or as I call him, Jamie.

In this episode:

• Why Jamie thinks the world would be better if more straight men got fucked in the ass
• The surprising emotional power of being sexually receptive
• Jamie’s chaotic, joyful anal debut story (yes, it involved a threesome)
• Why “top” and “bottom” are wildly insufficient ways to describe human desire
• The queer loneliness of trying to fit into tiny little boxes
• How the pandemic changed Jamie’s understanding of intimacy, beauty, and self-worth
• Why joyful, consensual anal sex is still almost absent from mainstream media
• The difference between humiliation and vulnerability—and why patriarchy confuses the two
• Jamie’s very horny origin story for wanting a tattoo
• A sexy game for exes that honestly might fix modern dating
• Why the best sex is often about feeling truly seen and worshipped
• The making of Jamie’s sensual new indie film Something to Surprise Me
• How queer people are reclaiming sexuality from shame, binaries, and bad storytelling
• Ass worship, emotional intimacy, and the radical act of yielding with joy

SUPPORT SOMETHING TO SURPRISE ME ON SEED & SPARK: https://seedandspark.com/fund/something-to-surprise-me?token=4de1630be7d5a70c7cd806c60339bcf9a171bb0ac77ec1d99238fc1dbd4bc803#story

WATCH FOR YEARS TO COME: https://www.youtube.com/watch?si=-Tu7iceWO2px5pPU&v=jMrHzo03fxE&feature=youtu.be

ALL THINGS JAMIE: https://www.james-patrick-nelson.com/

SUPPORT THE SHOW, CUTIE PATOOT!

Become a paying Substack subscriber: https://samiamounts.substack.com

Venmo Samia: @Samia-Mounts / https://account.venmo.com/u/Samia-Mounts

CashApp Samia: $SamiaMounts / https://cash.app/$SamiaMounts

Thank you, pinecones! See ya next week.

xoxo,

Samia

Mentioned in this episode:

Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted

Get a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!

Use code CLOSETED at check-out.

In this episode, I ask myself why, oh whyyy, am I so weird with women? I love them, I've known I'm attracted to them both sexually and romantically since I was a kid, and yet I've only managed to have one relationship with a woman that only lasted six weeks in college and otherwise have been a massive failure in the lady-dating department.

And I'm not alone. I've heard lots of bisexual girlies talking about how they don't even feel like they can claim the bisexual label because they almost exclusively date and sleep with men. Most of the bi women I know feel they aren't "bi enough."

In this episode:

• I’ve wanted women my whole life—and stayed silent
• One intense, six-week relationship that blew me open…and shut me down
• Why men feel “easier” (and what that says about me)
• The part I hate admitting: I’m the one getting in my own way
• Is this a me problem…or a bi girl problem?
• And the twist I did NOT see coming

Read the original essay on my Substack: https://samiamounts.substack.com/p/why-am-i-so-weird-with-women

Screen For Years to Come: https://james-patrick-nelson.com/for-years-to-come

SUPPORT THE SHOW, CUTIE PATOOT!

Become a paying Substack subscriber: https://samiamounts.substack.com

Venmo Samia: @Samia-Mounts / https://account.venmo.com/u/Samia-Mounts

CashApp Samia: $SamiaMounts / https://cash.app/$SamiaMounts

Thank you, pinecones! See ya next week.

xoxo,

Samia

Mentioned in this episode:

Get a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!

Use code CLOSETED at check-out.

Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted

Fox is a happily married parent with a normal work and home life...and a spicy social life with his kinky friends. Ooh la la!

In this audio-only episode with Happy Slut's very first anonymous guest, we get into what happens when a self-described “regular Joe” follows his curiosity into the world of kink play and wildly honest connection—and finds out it sets him free.

We talk about:

• The super-slow, podcast-fueled awakening that led him into kink
• How rope nights and kink clubs can foster community
• The surprisingly complex question: what even counts as sex?
• How he navigated opening things up with his wife (without blowing up his marriage)
• Why “you don’t have to have sex” was the gateway that made everything possible
• The ethics of play: communication, consent, and not being an absolute menace
• Having multiple play partners…and realizing you can actually do something about your crushes
• The joy of helping people live out fantasies they never thought they’d get to experience
• Why exploration, curiosity, and emotional safety matter way more than labels

This one is funny, thoughtful, unexpectedly wholesome, and just the right amount of chaotic.

Basically: what if you could look like a regular person on the outside…and still be out here living your weird little dream life?

Oh wait...that's you? Yeah, baby pinecone, that's ALL of us.

Mentioned in this episode:

Pink Kink Podcast: https://pinkkinkpodcast.com/

The Kink Consultant Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-kink-consultant/id1766435920

SUPPORT THE SHOW!

Subscribe to Samia's Substack: https://samiamounts.substack.com

Venmo Samia: @Samia-Mounts / https://account.venmo.com/u/Samia-Mounts

CashApp Samia: $SamiaMounts / https://cash.app/$SamiaMounts

I love you with the power of a thousand magic wands!

xoxo,

Samia

Mentioned in this episode:

Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted

Get a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!

Use code CLOSETED at check-out.

Callie Little is a polyamorous, pansexual witch who illustrated and co-authored my favorite tarot deck, Every Little Thing You Do is Magic, and its incredible companion book, which offers readers the opportunity to deepen their relationship with the cards and their own intuition. I reached out to them to replace two cards my dog had chewed up and they responded saying they checked out the pod and wanted to come on if I'd have them. IF I'D HAVE THEM?! I melted and exploded and said absolutely yes, thank you, Universe, and the results were glorious.

• going from “I’ll try anything once” to… wait, I actually have standards now??
• why you don’t have to earn your desires or make them make sense to anyone else
• the difference between real connection and just doing what you think you’re supposed to do
• the subtle ways patriarchy trains you to give up your autonomy and call it love
• that moment when something clicks and you’re like… oh, this isn’t a choice, this is a cage
• how to stay open without ignoring every red flag in front of your face
• a definition of cheating that might rearrange your brain a little
• what it actually looks like to be yourself first, even in a long-term relationship
• how to stop spiraling in shame and start getting curious instead
• why you keep wanting people who aren’t that great for you (and what that’s really about)
• building relationships based on choice instead of fear, obligation, or habit
• a recurring theme: you’re allowed to want what you want. yes, even that.

• tarot as a tool for figuring your shit out (more useful than you think)
• book recs that will absolutely mess with your understanding of love in a good way

It's SO GOOD, pinecones!

FOLLOW CALLIE:

Callie's Instagram: @goshcallie

Callie's Substack: The Village Witch

Callie's podcast: The Pocket Coven (apologies for calling it the Pocket Oracle in the episode!)

Purchase the Every Little Thing You Do is Magic Tarot Deck and Companion Book

Book Callie for tattoo work

All things Callie: www.callielittle.com

Book & Substack recommendations in this episode:

The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy

Matriarchal Blessing on Substack by Celeste Davis

Spells for Transmuting Limerence Into Liberation by Yumi Sakugawa

Love in a F*cked Up World by Dean Spade

Polysecure by Jessica Fern

Polywise by Jessica Fern

Open Deeply by Kate Loree

Adult Braces by Lindy West

SUPPORT THE SHOW!

Subscribe to Samia's Substack

Venmo: @Samia-Mounts

CashApp: $SamiaMounts

Love ya, pinecones!

xoxo,

Samia

Mentioned in this episode:

Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted

Get a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!

Use code CLOSETED at check-out.

Get a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!

Use code CLOSETED at check-out.

Her Confidant is Australia's only female-led male escort agency, serving all of Australia and now expanding to the United States. Owner Anna Grosman and anonymous escort Hudson chat with me about how therapeutic their clients find their services and how fulfilling it is to be a part of someone's most pleasurable moments.

We cover:

• A 43-year-old virgin makes her sexual debut with Hudson in a hotel suite...and afterward, begins dating for the first time in her life.
• A couple rediscover their spark...by inviting Hudson and his girlfriend Sage to spend an evening with them getting naked under the stars.
• Hudson's tragic back story, and how he used it as a catalyst for his own authenticity and growth.
• Anna's deeply hot back story, and how she realized not everyone was getting down with their spouses the way she was, and the women of hte world needed help!
• What a difference it makes when a man is able to be fully present with a woman, to really listen to her and attune to her emotions. It is, literally, what will get you laid. Andrew Tate's got it ALL WRONG.

This is a really fun convo, pinecones! I hope you dig it! Send me an email at [email protected] if you have comments, questions, or concerns. I love to hear from you.

Visit herconfidant.com.au for more on Her Confidant.

See Hudson's profile on Her Confidant. It's SO good. *fans herself*

Follow Samia on Instagram @samia.mounts

Follow Happy Slut on Instagram and Tiktok @happyslutcast

Email your comments, questions, dreams and wishes to [email protected]

SUPPORT THE SHOW WITH YOUR CUTE LITTLE SLUTTY DOLLARS!

Venmo: @Samia-Mounts

CashApp: $SamiaMounts

Mentioned in this episode:

Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted

Get a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!

Use code CLOSETED at check-out.

Dixie De La Tour has been facilitating joyful sexual experiences for most of her life, and you'll be shocked at the early life experiences that made her who she is today. She's the creator and host of the exuberant, wacky live show, Bawdy Storytelling, which features stories about sex, kink, gender, and body image and just celebrated its 20-year anniversary! She's also a self-proclaimed wild slut...but even sluts have dry spells, and in this episode, you'll hear all about how Dixie came back from eight years of no sex and is now ready to fuck like her life depends on it.

NOTE: This episode contains frank discussions of sex and mentions of sexual assault. Listen with care.

For all things Dixie De La Tour, head to www.bawdystorytelling.com.

BUY TICKETS to Bawdy Storytelling live in San Francisco on May 15: https://events.humanitix.com/bawdy-storytelling-s-the-big-comeback

Follow Dixie on Instagram @bawdystorytelling

Following Samia on Instagram @samia.mounts

Follow Happy Slut on Instagram and Tiktok @happyslutcast

Email your comments, questions, dreams and wishes to [email protected]

SUPPORT THE SHOW WITH YOUR CUTE LITTLE SLUTTY DOLLARS!

Venmo: @Samia-Mounts

CashApp: $SamiaMounts

I love you, pinecones! More next week!

xoxo,

Samia

Mentioned in this episode:

Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted

Get a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!

Use code CLOSETED at check-out.

Listen for a major announcement about the future of ClosetEd! Gahhhh I'm excited about this one, pinecones.

Watch all video episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@closeted-with-samia

xoxo,

Samia

Mentioned in this episode:

Get a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!

Use code CLOSETED at check-out.

Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted