This Show Has Everything

The bowling alley is a place that looms large in the minds of our friendos, so Ann and Christy decide it’s time to grab our custom bowling shoes and hipster mustaches, as we take a trip back in time (and cleanliness) to explore TBTL’s love of the good ol’ American bowling alley. We mourn the changing city landscape that leaves no room for the alleys of our youth, agree with Luke that Lucky Strikes are terrible, and debate whether we need to expand our knowledge of bowling movies. Christy gets the nervous sweats from a classic Burbank Big Dog story, while Ann tries desperately not to sound like a One Percenter as she describes her childhood bowling experiences. Plus, bowling fashion, gutter bumpers, and one of the best listener emails ever.

It’s a Boot the Boys™ episode, so Ann, Meredith and Hillary are gathered at the base of the LRB cheerleading pyramid to plan our latest Mission: Impossible-style caper. But before we put that safety deposit box heist into motion, we need to get into the details of another week of TBTL. Despite some reservations, we whole-heartedly enjoyed our first look at what may potentially be WBUR’s newest smash weekend afternoon program. We have a calm, thoughtful breakdown of the continuing saga of Twitterbeef 2018, ask some follow-up questions concerning the upcoming TBTL: Life is a Highway sure-to-be debacle, and tell the guys to quit crapping all over Common, fer cryin’ out loud. Additionally, we sneak into ATM’s territory for a little advertising critique, cautiously approve of pizza roll grilling, and allow Luke’s misunderstanding of expiration dates to lead us into confessing our own sunscreen shame. Seriously, we’re amazed that Hillary’s nose hasn’t fallen off.

Resident middle-aged mommish person Hillary Garrett Livingston Butler unleashes the unliiiiiiiimited hot takes we’ve all been thinking as she leads Michael Andrew Frizzell and Robert Law(u)rence Pape through a TBTL Week in Review that reminds us that—for better or for worse … this week maybe worse—Luke is still Luke, Andrew is still Andrew, therapy is still a good idea, and Neil Hamburger still isn’t funny.

In other news, the Insect Museum is finally on the market, and it’s conveniently close to a dumb ballet recital. We may do an LRB Big Block of Cheese Day, but only if we can find enough Colby-Jack. And, there’s nothing quite as unsettling as the courtship of a rich industrialist and a precocious 11-year-old girl. (Speaking of: If you get caught with the special grown-up crate in the children’s section, just tell ‘em The Bone sent ya.)

A veritable cavalcade of LRB hosts are assembled for our May round-up show, where we dig into your thoughtful commentary, strategize about our potential Grill and Chill franchise opportunity (Hillary will be our Parker Posey), and examine your recent Amazon purchases (Ann has GOT to stop googling things). Also on the agenda, we begin preliminary discussions about a possible plan to plan some summer plans, the triumphant return of Christy’s Corner sparks a discussion of our current viewing habits, and Mike’s Minute ends up fomenting discord among the group. Meredith lets us know that she hears us, she  understands us, and she disagrees with us. Plus, a spirited debate about the proper way to describe the Law & Order noise, and a return to the perpetual emotion machine.

Thank you, pervs.

Since we landed just below the cutoff for that big radio contest, Bobby, Ann, Meredith and Hillary change gears and get back to the business of reviewing the latest week of TBTL, despite the aggressively political and sensual overtones coming from the couple at the other end of the communal pod-lobby. Plus, Hillary recommends the movie Tully, Meredith explains why she has been watching Law & Order SVU, Ann ardently avoids conversation about Robinson Canó, and Bobby accidentally sparks a conversation that may put Vitamin D—the hottest vitamin—on Mike’s list of language banned from conversation. (Here’s hoping he never sees Grease 2, or we might run out of words.)

Step into our money booth, take off your pants and break out the tar, because it’s time for another TBTL recap! We’ve got so much to talk about that we didn’t have time to finish slicing our hotdogs, even with our new kitchen harp. Included in this chock-full episode: we’re breaking out the judge’s hammer (gavel, dangit) to make a ruling on a new studio name. We promise not to tell the Red Robin staff it’s your birthday. We have a consensus that taking money you didn’t earn is wrong, unless you find it in a pair of pants at Value Village. We’re in disbelief over Luke’s casual attitude towards passports, as well as his comfort at driving with an expired license. And we’re in firm agreement that David From the Basement is the best thing about any show he’s on. Plus, Ann and Meredith have their first fight, and we prove that Frizzell isn’t the only one on this podcast who can tell a touching story.

It happens to us all: we’ve gotten off the plane and later realize our iPad is still in the seat back pocket. Oh, you haven’t? Well then, we’ve all left our belongings unattended at our departure gate while we go to the Hudson News to buy an outrageously overpriced Bag Of Farts. Not that, either? Uh, okay, we’ve all certainly taken a cab to a sketchy area of East Las Vegas to confront a “medium-terrifying Mexican guy” we suspect has our phone. Seriously, you haven’t done that? Right, because it’s only Luke Burbank who does those kinds of things. Ann and Christy are ready to take Burbs to task over his carelessness with his electronic possessions in locations that range from the airport to the back of cabs to his own bathroom. Along the way we discuss the salaries of flight attendants, Luke’s moral relativism, and whether or not we would ever ask a stranger to watch our luggage. Our big takeaway from this episode? “Don’t steal stuff.”

This show contains clips from the following TBTL episodes: 10/21/2013 (Luke had his laptop stolen at LAX, beef jerky, TBTL drops); 10/30/2014 (Luke broke his laptop, unattended luggage); 9/26/2012 (iPads on planes, airline industry salaries, moral relativism); 1/22/2013 (Find My iPhone, East Las Vegas, cab rides, confrontation).

Newly minted co-host Hillary Livingston Butler leads Manchaca Mike and I-35-abutted Bobby on a special All-Texas Edition of LRB, including our TBTL Week in Review, a recap of our liquor -infused days of fun, and the joy of seeing Luke crush his appearance on Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me! So pop off your legs, toss out those Bad Pants, and don’t sleep on the smoked turkey, because this one’s more fun than a Forensic Files marathon and a miracle epidural. Good stuff.

The last week of TBTL was an emotional one, and there isn’t really a great way to recap someone’s grief over the loss of a friend. Instead, Mike shares one of his own tough experiences with Ann and Bobby, and we all do some metaphorical (not literal) phone-hugging.

That said, don’t worry! It’s not all so serious. We still had plenty of time to pick apart the guys’ irrational anxieties, our own issues with statue permanence (thank you David Copperfield), Emu’s Pink Windmill Kids, Mike’s crack update, Bobby’s Red Scare stare, Ann’s concern for Mr. Rogers, and a delicious veggie wedgie. Now if only we could explain that smell from the attic…

Click here to take your seat in the Kia Optima for an audio ride back in time to a July 2017 trip to Lake Chelan, as referenced in today’s show.

Join Bobby, Mike, Ann and Christy for a month-end round-up of the TBTL and LRB topics from April we needed more time to cover, including:

• The winner of our seven-way candy melee
• The loser of all candy, ever (no poll necessary)
• More pet nicknames
• More oldest emails
• And more!

Plus, Bobby’s coconut aversion, Mike’s cracked house, Ann’s awkward brunch, and a passing reference to the time Christy “googled porn.” It’s a grab bag of delight, without a single yambag in sight.