This Show Has Everything

Hey friends, while we were waiting in line behind God for the microwave at the celestial 7-11, the LRB gang decided to make a few changes. So, we’re trying out a new style of recap this week, but don’t give us a Shorty Award just yet. Instead, listen in on a discussion that ranges from a science fiction technology that we think is more important than time travel to the best way to house your bitcoin mining operation. Meredith would rather have a cavity filled than listen to any more from The Rapsures. Mike gets hot under the collar at Luke’s dismissal of marketing professionals. Ann shares tales from the retail trenches that demonstrate why we need rules and policies in the workplace (or maybe just that people are terrible). Plus, radio charlatans, dark chocolate, new standards for insanity in men, and how many rivets should go in the door panel of a Tesla. We’re 112% CA-CAO!

It’s clip show time, and we’re taking a short break from attempting to deport Andy the fun-loving lemon thrower to talk about some nicknames. Meredith “Short Torso” Van Harn, Christy “Don’t Call Me Chrissy” Wise and Ann “Brontosaurus Rex” Lundholm are here to develop a set of rules for appropriate nicknames, talk about why you should never be friends with an asshole, and bemoan the difficulties of changing your name, as well as share under what circumstances you should get off the plane RIGHT NOW. On the TBTL front, we’ll get the story behind Jen Andrews’ most enduring nickname, learn the Rule of Three Steves, resolve YET AGAIN to keep a safe distance from The Mummy, and squirm at the original instance of Burbanking the Joke.

P.S. Don’t forget to send Meredith your pet nicknames!

Neither snow nor cold nor gloom of post-surgery pain will keep Ann, Bobby and Meredith from recapping the latest week of TBTL. Between us we’ve got a Diet Coke bunker, a working fax line (617-354-8513), some Tylenol with Codeine and zero working VCRs, all divided by one. And thankfully, not a single dollop of anything in sight.

It’s been a busy week here in LRB Land, so this is just a quick update from Bobby to let you know we still love you, even after that thing you did. You know which thing.

Remember your homework:

• Go listen to an episode from our extensive back catalogue of shows at littleredbandwagon.com
• Tell us about the oldest email in your gmail (or non-Google email, I guess)
• Tune into the recap on Monday

p.s. I unplugged the refrigerator in my room to record this because it started making a loud noise right before I started. You’re welcome.

Make sure you’re wearing your Life Alert, because it’s time for a fresh recap of TBTL and we don’t want you to slip in the shower. Luke is pretending he isn’t a frivolous spender, while Andrew definitely, definitely lost on The Price Is Right: Whole Foods Salad Bar Edition. Although it turned out that the Roooosevelt apartment wasn’t on fire, our hot takes certainly are, as Ann and Mike are joined once again by guest host Hillary “H-Bomb” Butler to talk about the finest in kids’ television programming, the challenges of families and relationships in the modern world, and the need for a regular female presence on TBTL. Mike has more questions about space junk than one lady scientist can answer. Hillary creates a new segment called, “Tee It Up, Andrew!”. Ann says we should never question a man’s relationship with his pepperoni. Oh, and Mike tells a story that contains the phrase, “a Pat Benatar video where they dance battle a pimp.”

By popular demand (at least among the hosts) it’s the The LRB Candy Special!

Ann, Christy, Mike and Bobby break down the official results of the LRB Candy Survey, and then use ultimate Jen Andrews-style authority to manipulate and overrule as needed to determine unequivocally which sweets can’t be beat in each category. (Stay tuned for a seven-way melee to determine the overall winner in a future episode.)

Plus, Bobby tries all of the new Diet Coke flavors in real time, Mike sings some off-season Mariah Carey, Christy (for some inexplicable reason) hates chocolate, and Ann is not putting up with any nonsense because it’s Ann Time now.

It’s Easter at the LRB, and Branson the bunny is celebrating by deploying his turd cannon, while Edith the cat preps for a trip.  As for your hosts, after deciding on the next phase of our careers, we buckle down to discuss who should (or should not) approach celebrities for selfies, the positives of automated customer service, the Seventies sexiness of Michael Landon, and the real reason that men get married. Meredith has some low-capacity thumb drives she needs to part with, Mike made a poor spaghetti sauce-related decision, and Ann has a message for the car-packers of America. Plus, we dive deep into the career of noted ornithologist Steve Canada. Watch out, because this episode has more hot takes than a racist cable news host.

• Why is Mrs. Bean Baxtor mad at Mike?
• Does Andrew want to get revenge on Bobby?
• Why Andrew and Christy are in a blood feud?
• What is Andrew’s TBTL origin story?
• And many more! 

Live from Regular Virginia, Ann joins Bobby and Meredith to brag about some Polish candy she received from a listener—a treat that sounds a lot better to some of us than the lie that is Raisinets. After candy talk (don’t worry, there’s more to come in future episodes) we recap the latest week of TBTL, and dole out life advice including “never test yourself on geography in public,” “Craig, throw out those bricks,” and “keep drinking, Kalena.”

Hillary Livingston “Trixie” “H-Bomb” “hiliv” Butler returns to join Mike “L’il Fat” “Shaggy” “Moose”  Frizzell and Bobby “Buy My Mixer” “no really, please buy my mixer” Pape for a special Friday potpourri edition of LRB. Topics discussed include but are not limited to:

• An exciting Stumpdate™
• A casual Austin meet-up in May (planned in real time on the show, like you do)
• Bedtime with the Butlers
• A great offer on a used industrial kitchen mixer
• Awkward mirror placement, and
• Why acting like Holden Caulfield is not cool (*cough* Andrew)

When you realize you haven’t had enough Hillary, go back and check out her previous LRB appearances; a recap from August 2016, and a Friday episode from June 2015 featuring a classic clip of Preacher Jen.