What happens to the eight-year-old boy who finds his aunt collapsed on the floor, pills beneath his feet, and has to call for someone to help her? What happens when, years later, he discovers that the childhood memory he questioned was real?

For Mark Manderson, that experience became part of a much larger story. His aunt died from a drug overdose when he was young, but the memory remained buried until therapy helped him revisit it years later. The grief and understanding that followed would eventually influence a career dedicated to helping people and families affected by addiction.

Episode Summary

In this episode of Thrive While Loving an Addict, KL Wells sits down with Mark Manderson, CEO and founder of Pacific Shores Recovery, to explore what more than two decades of working in addiction recovery have taught him about pain, substance use, family dynamics, and healing.

Mark shares his belief that substance use often serves as an attempt to escape or numb deeper pain, and explains why focusing only on the substance can leave important underlying issues unaddressed. Together, KL and Mark discuss anger and grief, the limits of trying to control someone else's recovery, emotional literacy, generational patterns, and what it can mean to love someone without losing yourself in the process.

Key Discussion Points

• Mark's childhood experience of losing his aunt to a drug overdose and how that loss influenced his life's work
• Revisiting a buried childhood memory through EMDR therapy
• Why substance use can become a way of numbing or escaping deeper emotional pain
• The difference between pain that keeps someone stuck and pain that becomes a source of meaning or purpose
• Why trying to control, fix, or change someone struggling with addiction can exhaust families
• The grief that may exist underneath anger for parents and loved ones
• Mark's five foundational freedoms and the patterns he observed among people who sustained recovery
• Addiction as isolation and the importance of connection and community in recovery
• Emotional literacy and why understanding feelings can be difficult when those skills were never taught
• How generational patterns can influence substance use and family relationships
• Loving someone with an open hand rather than attaching love to a specific outcome
• How the questions we repeatedly ask ourselves can shape our perspective and beliefs
• A Gestalt-based exercise Mark uses to explore guilt and shame carried by family members

Some Questions I Ask

• Can you say more about the idea that pain may have something to teach or show us?
• What does "doing the work" actually look like for someone who has never begun that process?
• What might be a first step for a parent who feels trapped in anger?
• Do you see the addiction crisis as an invitation for people and families to become more aware of deeper patterns?
• How do you continue loving the person while struggling with what addiction is doing?

In This Episode, You Will Learn

• Why addiction may be connected to an attempt to numb underlying emotional pain rather than simply a relationship with a substance
• How trying to control another person's choices can affect families emotionally
• Why grief may sit underneath anger, frustration, and exhaustion
• How pain can be explored and integrated rather than continually avoided
• The five foundational freedoms Mark identified through his work with people in recovery
• Why connection and community can play an important role in recovery
• How emotional literacy can help people better understand what they are experiencing
• How generational patterns may influence addiction and family dynamics
• Why the questions we ask ourselves can influence the answers and perspectives our minds repeatedly return to
• How families can begin examining guilt and shame they may have taken on as their own
• What it can mean to love someone without making your own well-being dependent on their recovery

Resources

The Recovery Way by Mark Manderson

A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle

TED Talk by Mark Manderson

About the Guest

Mark Manderson is the CEO and founder of Pacific Shores Recovery in Newport Beach, California, and has worked in addiction treatment for more than two decades. His work with individuals and families is informed by both professional experience and his own childhood experience of losing his aunt to addiction.

Through his work, Mark focuses on understanding the pain and emotional patterns that can exist beneath substance use while helping individuals and families develop greater awareness, connection, and emotional understanding. His experience includes working with both veterans and civilians navigating addiction and recovery.

Mark is also the author of The Recovery Way, a speaker, and a confidence coach who offers educational master classes for individuals and families navigating recovery.

Connect With Mark

Instagram

@markcmanderson

Pacific Shores Recovery

Newport Beach, California

Loving someone through addiction or mental illness can slowly consume every part of your life. The focus shifts to crisis after crisis, while your own well-being quietly slips into the background.

In this episode, KL Wells sits down with Lisa Taylor to share the deeply personal story of reaching that breaking point. Together, they explore the difficult decision to step back, the courage it took to rebuild, and how caring for yourself can become an important part of loving someone else.

Lisa Taylor is a former corporate sales executive and single mother from Ontario, Canada, whose daughter was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder as a teenager before experiencing a traumatic brain injury the following year. As the challenges continued to grow, Lisa found herself carrying the emotional, financial, and physical weight of trying to keep everything together while gradually losing herself in the process.

In this conversation, Lisa reflects on the moment she realized something had to change. She shares how creating healthy boundaries, slowing down, and focusing on her own healing allowed her to rediscover herself while continuing to love her daughter. Together, KL and Lisa explore burnout, generational patterns, spirituality, and the quiet ways healing can influence the people we love.

• Parenting through both mental illness and addiction
• The emotional and physical exhaustion of long-term caregiving
• Burnout, financial stress, and losing your sense of self
• Why setting boundaries is different from abandoning someone you love
• The difficult decision to create distance for everyone's well-being
• Rebuilding life after years of crisis management
• Slowing down and discovering deeper patterns beneath constant busyness
• How generational patterns become visible through self-reflection
• Spirituality, stillness, and personal growth during recovery
• The unexpected ways personal healing can influence family relationships
• Loving from a distance while remaining connected with compassion

• At what point did you begin taking your life back?
• What did slowing down teach you about yourself?
• How has your daughter become one of your greatest teachers?
• Was reaching your breaking point what finally opened the door to your own healing?

• Why setting boundaries with a child is not the same as abandoning them
• How chronic caregiving can lead to emotional and physical burnout
• What rebuilding life can look like after losing stability and identity
• Why personal healing may influence family relationships in unexpected ways
• How slowing down creates space to recognize generational patterns
• What loving someone from a healthy distance can look like
• Why caring for yourself is an important part of supporting someone else
• How healing often begins by turning inward rather than trying to change another person

Sashbear Foundation

https://sashbear.org

Turn the Lens Inward Podcast

Sometimes the most loving decision is also the hardest one.

Creating distance from someone you love does not always mean giving up. For many families, it can become the boundary that allows both people the opportunity to begin healing.

Lisa Taylor is a confidence coach based in Ontario, Canada, who helps people move beyond living for the expectations of others and build lives rooted in authenticity and self-trust.

After navigating years of supporting her daughter through mental health challenges and addiction, Lisa turned her own healing journey into a source of support for others. She is the co-host of the Turn the Lens Inward podcast, where she shares conversations about mental health, addiction, personal growth, and resilience. Today, she and her daughter also co-own a residential cleaning business, reflecting the new chapter they have built together.

Website

https://glowingconfidence.com

Healing from trauma rarely happens all at once. It unfolds over time, often in ways that are difficult to recognize while you're living through them. The journey beyond survival can be uncertain, filled with moments of growth, grief, and unexpected clarity.

In Part 2 of this conversation, Jason Prokowiew returns to continue sharing his story. Building on the experiences explored in Part 1, he reflects on what came after the interviews with his father, the grief that followed his father's death, and the ongoing work of building a life beyond inherited trauma.

Episode Summary

This episode continues KL Wells' conversation with Jason Prokowiew, author of War Boys. After spending years trying to understand the effects of growing up in an alcoholic home shaped by generational trauma, Jason found himself facing a new chapter after recording more than fifty hours of conversations with his father and then losing him just months later.

Together, KL and Jason explore what healing looks like after understanding begins. They discuss grief, difficult family decisions, the importance of recognizing personal strengths, and how purpose can gradually emerge alongside life's most painful experiences. This conversation offers an honest perspective on the ongoing nature of recovery and the possibility of building a meaningful life beyond survival.

Key Discussion Points

• Healing from trauma as a lifelong process rather than a single breakthrough
• Returning to old triggers years later and responding with greater awareness
• Listening to his father's recorded voice decades later and revisiting unresolved emotions
• The difficult decision to step away from family relationships that no longer supported growth
• Estrangement, grief, and making painful choices while honoring personal well-being
• Grief as a companion to healing rather than evidence that healing has failed
• The "emotional bank account" and the value of intentionally building positive experiences
• Discovering purpose alongside life's most painful experiences
• Learning to recognize long-held survival skills as strengths rather than flaws
• Viewing mental health as an ongoing journey instead of a destination

Some Questions I Ask

• After your father passed away, how did you begin discovering who you were becoming?
• What did that conversation with your older siblings reveal about your own healing?
• Why was stepping away from your mother different from leaving other family relationships?
• What was it like hearing your father's voice again after twenty years?
• Do you believe your life's purpose sits alongside the most difficult experiences you've lived through?

In This Episode, You Will Learn

• Why healing from trauma often unfolds over many years
• How old triggers can reappear even after significant personal growth
• The emotional complexity of creating distance from unhealthy family systems
• Why grief and healing can exist at the same time
• How intentionally creating positive experiences can strengthen emotional resilience
• The difference between survival strategies and personal strengths
• Why understanding yourself may matter more than reaching a perfect destination
• How purpose can emerge from experiences that once felt only painful

Resources

War Boys by Jason Prokowiew

Available July 1, 2026

Learn more about War Boys

https://warboysbook.com

Al-Anon Family Groups

https://al-anon.org

Notable Insight From The Episode

"What we are not going to do is pathologize our strengths."

Jason recalls this powerful moment with his therapist as an invitation to reconsider qualities he had spent years viewing as flaws. Many of the traits developed while surviving difficult childhoods can become valuable strengths when they are understood, supported, and used with intention rather than driven by fear.

About the Guest

Jason Prokowiew is a writer, storyteller, and author of War Boys, a father-and-son memoir exploring generational trauma, addiction, and healing through the lens of his family's history. His work traces his father's survival during World War II, the lasting effects of wartime trauma, and Jason's own journey toward understanding life in an alcoholic family.

Drawing from his experiences with Al-Anon, storytelling, and years of personal reflection, Jason writes about resilience, identity, and the possibility of healing across generations. He has appeared on Stories from the Stage and has shared readings from War Boys through literary and educational communities.

Connect With the Guest

Website

https://www.jasonwprokowiew.com/

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/jasonprokowiew/

What does it take to understand a parent who hurt you?

Not excuse them. Not justify what happened. Simply understand them in a way that helps make sense of wounds that have been carried for years.

In this episode, KL Wells sits down with Jason Prokowiew, author of War Boys, to explore the lasting impact of addiction, generational trauma, and the possibility of finding healing through understanding.

Episode Summary

Jason Prokowiew grew up as the youngest of thirteen children in a Massachusetts family shaped by alcoholism, silence, and the lingering effects of war. His father survived extraordinary hardship as a child during World War II, carrying experiences of loss, displacement, and trauma that would continue to influence his family for decades.

Together, KL and Jason explore what it was like to grow up in an alcoholic home, how childhood survival strategies followed him into adulthood, and the journey that eventually led him to record more than fifty hours of conversations with his father. Through those conversations, Jason gained a deeper understanding of both his father's story and his own.

Key Discussion Points

• Growing up in a household affected by alcoholism and unprocessed trauma
• The impact of wartime experiences across multiple generations
• The lasting effects of emotional messages received during childhood
• The concept of the "dry drunk" and what happens when drinking stops but healing does not
• Finding your voice after years of learning to stay invisible
• The influence of teachers, mentors, and supportive communities
• Panic attacks, emotional overwhelm, and the body's response to unresolved pain
• The role of Al-Anon in providing language and understanding
• Curiosity as a pathway toward healing and understanding
• Understanding a parent's history without minimizing its impact

Some Questions I Ask

• When your father stopped drinking, what was happening inside you that still needed attention?
• When did you realize that what you thought was shyness might actually have been something else?
• What helped you continue rewriting your story as new understanding emerged?
• What motivated you to begin interviewing your father about his experiences?
• Before your father passed away, did you find your own experience of forgiveness?

In This Episode, You Will Learn

• How growing up in an alcoholic home can shape identity and survival strategies
• Why childhood coping mechanisms often continue into adulthood
• The impact of generational trauma on families
• How mentors and supportive relationships can create new possibilities
• Why understanding and forgiveness are not always the same thing
• How curiosity can open doors to healing and connection
• The value of hearing a loved one's full story
• How community support can help individuals make sense of experiences that once felt isolating

Resources

War Boys by Jason Prokowiew

https://www.jasonwprokowiew.com/war-boys-praise

Al-Anon Family Groups

https://al-anon.org

The Awakening by Kate Chopin

Come and See (1985 film directed by Elem Klimov)

Stories from the Stage (PBS)

Notable Insight From The Episode

"In order to understand what was still hemorrhaging inside of me, I had to hear my dad's stories."

This reflection speaks to something many families experience. Understanding the history behind someone's behavior does not erase the pain it caused, but it can offer context, perspective, and a different path toward healing.

About the Guest

Jason Prokowiew is the author of War Boys, a father-and-son memoir that traces his father's survival during World War II, his immigration to the United States, and the lasting impact of wartime trauma on their family. Through storytelling, writing, and public speaking, Jason explores themes of family, resilience, addiction, and generational healing.

He has appeared on Stories from the Stage and has shared readings and presentations about War Boys, including appearances connected to Oberlin College, where he first began recording his father's history.

Connect With the Guest

Learn more about Jason Prokowiew and War Boys

https://www.jasonwprokowiew.com

For years, Sherry Ehrin grieved a sister who was still alive. When her sister eventually died after decades of addiction, that grief did not end. In many ways, it began again.

This conversation explores the kind of loss that families often carry quietly: the grief that accumulates through years of relapse, hope, disappointment, and difficult choices. It is a story about love, capacity, boundaries, and what it means to keep moving forward after profound loss.

Episode Summary

In this episode of Thrive While Loving an Addict, KL Wells sits down with Sherry Ehrin to discuss the often-overlooked sibling experience of addiction. Over more than twenty years, Sherry watched her sister move in and out of addiction, recovery, and crisis. Along the way, she adopted her sister's four children, navigated serious health challenges of her own, and carried the emotional weight that so many family members know intimately.

Sherry shares the reality of grieving someone who is still alive, the difficult decisions families sometimes face when support and capacity run out, and the perspective that has helped her make sense of her journey. This conversation offers a compassionate look at ambiguous grief, boundaries, and the difference between stepping back and giving up.

Key Discussion Points

• The sibling experience and why it is often overlooked in conversations about addiction
• Ambiguous grief and the experience of losing someone in stages over many years
• The emotional and physical toll of loving someone through addiction
• Adopting a sibling's children while navigating complex family dynamics
• The difference between abandoning someone and reaching the limits of your capacity
• Boundaries as an act of care rather than rejection
• Managing guilt, grief, and responsibility in the face of addiction
• Rebuilding life and meaning after loss

Some Questions I Ask

• What does it feel like to grieve someone while they are still alive?
• How did you care for yourself while loving your sister through two decades of addiction?
• How do you navigate judgment from others when you choose to step back?
• How are you rewriting your story now, one year after losing your sister?

In This Episode, You Will Learn

• Why grief often begins long before a loved one dies
• How ambiguous loss affects families living alongside addiction
• The difference between running out of capacity and abandoning someone you love
• What prolonged caregiving and chronic stress can cost emotionally and physically
• Why siblings may feel unseen in addiction and recovery conversations
• How boundaries can coexist with deep love and compassion
• Why choosing yourself is not the same as giving up on someone else
• How grief, hope, and responsibility can exist at the same time

Resources

Learn more about Thriving Yinzers

https://thrivingyinzers.com

Listen to This Is It by Thriving Yinzers

https://thrivingyinzers.com

Notable Insight From The Episode

“I didn't abandon her. I ran out of capacity.”

For many families, those words capture a painful reality. There is a difference between choosing not to care and reaching the limits of what you are physically, emotionally, or mentally able to give. Recognizing that distinction can be an important part of healing.

About the Guest

Sherry Ehrin is a Pittsburgh-based writer, advocate, and host of the podcast This Is It by Thriving Yinzers. After losing her sister to addiction, she became the primary caregiver for her sister's four children while continuing to build a life for her own family.

Through Thriving Yinzers, Sherry creates space for honest conversations about resilience, healing, and finding meaning after difficult life experiences. Her work reflects the belief that people can continue moving forward even while carrying grief, loss, and uncertainty.

Connect With the Guest

Website

https://thrivingyinzers.com

What does it mean to love someone through addiction when the addiction is almost completely invisible from the outside?

In this episode, KL Wells sits down with Dr. Wanda Kay, a clinician, somatic therapist, and coach who spent twenty years married to someone struggling with sex addiction while raising children, building careers, and trying to hold together a life that appeared stable to everyone around them. This conversation explores the emotional confusion, isolation, and self-doubt that can emerge when addiction quietly reshapes a relationship over time.

Episode Summary

Dr. Wanda Kay shares how growing up in an isolated and highly controlled religious environment shaped the way she understood relationships, trust, and belonging. She reflects on how those early experiences influenced her marriage and why it became difficult to recognize the deeper patterns unfolding beneath the surface. Over time, secrecy, emotional inconsistency, and gaslighting slowly eroded her confidence in her own perception of reality.

Drawing from both lived experience and clinical work, Dr. Wanda offers insight into the emotional impact addiction can have on partners and families. Together, she and KL explore codependency, boundaries, nervous system awareness, and the long process of healing after relational trauma. This conversation centers the reality that loving someone deeply does not require losing yourself alongside them.

Key Discussion Points

• Growing up in an isolated and highly controlled religious environment
• How isolation can increase vulnerability in unhealthy relationships
• The emotional confusion partners often experience in relationships affected by hidden addiction
• The “clock face” model of addiction and the emotional inconsistency it can create for partners
• Gaslighting, self-doubt, and the gradual erosion of trust in one’s own instincts
• The overlap between addictive behaviors and narcissistic coping patterns
• The body’s role in recognizing emotional danger before the mind fully accepts it
• Codependency as a survival strategy developed through adaptation and caregiving
• The difference between loving someone and losing yourself alongside them
• Healing as a long, nonlinear process rather than a fixed destination
• Reframing codependent traits as strengths that can be used in healthier ways
• Boundaries as self-protection rather than rejection or abandonment

Some Questions I Ask

• At what point did you first reach out to someone for support?
• Was discovering the affair the moment that interrupted the pattern, or had part of you already known something was wrong?
• What does the research suggest about healing timelines after long-term relationships affected by addiction?
• What are the practices that help keep you grounded and connected to yourself today?

In This Episode, You Will Learn

• Why people raised in isolated or controlling environments may be more vulnerable to unhealthy relational dynamics
• How emotional inconsistency and secrecy can create confusion and self-doubt in partners
• Why addictive behavior can sometimes mirror narcissistic patterns of manipulation and detachment
• How the nervous system and body often recognize danger before the conscious mind does
• Why codependent patterns often begin as adaptive survival responses
• The difference between supporting someone and emotionally drowning alongside them
• Why healing from relational trauma can take time and unfold gradually
• How boundaries can protect both emotional well-being and personal identity
• Why reconnecting with yourself is an important part of recovery and healing

Resources

Learn more about Holisticated Health

https://holisticatedhealth.com

Explore the NEAR Program (Narcissistic Emotional Abuse Recovery)

https://holisticatedhealth.com

Notable Insight From The Episode

“Loving someone does not mean you have to drown with them.”

For many people loving someone through addiction, this idea can feel unfamiliar at first. Over time, it may become a reminder that compassion and care do not require sacrificing your own emotional safety, identity, or well-being.

About the Guest

Dr. Wanda Kay is a coach, somatic therapist, and clinician currently completing her LPC. She is the co-founder of Holisticated Health alongside licensed psychologist Catherine Cashman, where they offer the NEAR Program, a four-day intensive retreat focused on recovery from narcissistic and emotional abuse.

Drawing from both professional training and lived experience, Dr. Wanda works with individuals navigating relational trauma, emotional abuse, and recovery from long-term unhealthy relationship dynamics. Though based in Minnesota, she also facilitates retreats in Florida.

Connect With Dr. Wanda Kay

Website

https://holisticatedhealth.com

What does it look like to grow up inside the kind of environment many families are trying to help their loved ones escape?

Bill Hoopes shares what it was like to take on adult responsibility at a young age in a home shaped by addiction and mental illness. His story offers a perspective that many listeners may recognize, especially those who learned early on to care for others before learning how to care for themselves.

In this episode of Thrive While Loving an Addict, KL Wells sits down with Bill Hoopes to explore what it can mean to grow up in a home shaped by addiction and mental illness. Bill shares his experience of taking on adult responsibilities at a young age and how those early patterns carried into his later life and relationships.

Through reflection on his time in the Navy and his work with families and young athletes, Bill offers insight into codependency, boundaries, and the long-lasting impact of childhood environments. This conversation gently explores the idea that while no one may come to rescue us, there can be a different kind of strength found in choosing how we respond and care for ourselves moving forward.

Key Discussion Points

• Growing up in a household affected by addiction and mental illness
• How early responsibility can shape identity and relational patterns
• The development of codependency and its long-term effects
• The difference between supporting someone and taking responsibility for them
• Why boundaries can feel difficult and emotionally complex
• The role of self-investment and intentional growth
• How patterns formed in childhood can continue into adulthood
• The importance of recognizing and interrupting generational cycles

Some Questions I Ask

• How did your early experiences shape the person you became?
• When did you begin to recognize patterns from your childhood?
• What lessons from your time in the Navy still influence your life today?
• What do you see most often in families who are loving someone in addiction?
• What do you hope young people and families take away from your work?

In This Episode, You Will Learn

• How childhood environments can influence patterns of responsibility and identity
• Why codependency can develop when children take on caregiving roles early
• How boundaries can support both personal well-being and relationships
• The difference between being present for someone and trying to manage their choices
• Why intentional time spent on personal growth can influence broader areas of life
• How generational patterns can be recognized and gradually shifted
• Why self-responsibility can be a starting point for change

“No one is coming to save you. If you want change, it has to be intentional.”

For many families, this idea can feel heavy at first. Over time, it may also create space to shift focus away from trying to change someone else, and toward caring for your own well-being.

Resources

Learn more about Lead Your Journey

https://leadyourjourney.com

Leading Her Game by Bill Hoopes

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FYZPH3P7

Connect on Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/60forme/

Connect on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1489040327

In this episode of Thrive While Loving an Addict, KL Wells sits down with Lauren Fay to explore the hidden emotional landscape of addiction, particularly when it is shaped by perfectionism, secrecy, and the pressure to maintain an image. Lauren shares her experience of appearing put together on the outside while quietly struggling with alcohol and mental health challenges behind closed doors.

As Lauren reflects on her path to sobriety, she speaks to the moment she chose to be seen and how that shift allowed her recovery to begin. This conversation also offers insight for families, highlighting the complexity of learning the full story all at once and the time it can take for healing to unfold on both sides.

Key Discussion Points

• The role of perfectionism and image management in addiction
• How secrecy and shame can delay recognition and support
• What it can mean to choose openness after years of hiding
• The emotional experience of early sobriety and identity uncertainty
• Why families are often unaware until much later
• The distinction between the person and the behavior shaped by addiction
• How comparison can keep individuals from seeking help
• The role of willingness and choice in the recovery process
• Recovery as a shared experience that can involve both individuals and families

Some Questions I Ask

• Was the voice keeping you stuck your own, or something shaped by addiction?
• What was it like to begin sharing your story publicly?
• What messages feel most important for both those in recovery and their families?
• How can families begin to separate the person they love from the behavior they are seeing?

In This Episode, You Will Learn

• How perfectionism and the need to maintain control can influence addictive patterns
• What early recovery can feel like when identity begins to shift
• Why families may need time to process what they learn
• How separating the person from the behavior can support compassion
• Why comparison can delay recognition of a problem
• How willingness can become an early step toward change
• Why healing may involve both personal work and relational repair

Resources

Blurred Lines: My Reclamation of Power from Alcohol Addiction — You Are Not Powerless by Lauren Fay

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FL12GQP6

Learn more about Lauren Fay

https://laurenfay.co

Episode Summary

In this episode of Thrive While Loving an Addict, KL Wells sits down with Dr. Robb Kelly, a neuroscientist and addiction specialist, to explore what it means to understand addiction as a disease rather than a moral failure. Dr. Kelly shares his personal journey from early exposure to alcohol in childhood to losing his family, home, and stability, and eventually living on the streets before reaching a turning point that changed the direction of his life.

Drawing from both lived experience and years of working with thousands of individuals and families, Dr. Kelly offers insight into how addiction affects the brain and why behavior can feel so difficult to understand from the outside. This conversation also acknowledges the impact on families, the complexity of boundaries, and the possibility of healing and reconnection over time.

Key Discussion Points

• Dr. Robb Kelly’s personal journey through addiction, loss, and recovery
• Understanding addiction through a brain-based perspective
• How survival mechanisms in the brain can influence addictive behavior
• The difference between intention and compulsion in addiction
• The role of thinking patterns in sustaining addiction
• How enabling and boundaries can impact recovery
• The emotional toll addiction can have on families and loved ones
• The possibility of reconciliation after long periods of disconnection
• The role of faith, meaning, and perspective in recovery
• The brain’s ability to adapt and change over time

Some Questions I Ask

• What were the turning points that led you from addiction into the work you do today?
• How did your personal experience shape your treatment approach?
• Do you see your life experiences as something that shaped your purpose?
• What would you say to loved ones trying to stay grounded in the middle of addiction?
• Were you able to find forgiveness in your relationship with your father?

In This Episode, You Will Learn

• Why addiction is often understood as a brain-based condition rather than a lack of willpower
• How certain brain processes can influence decision-making and behavior
• Why asking someone to “just stop” can feel unrealistic in the context of addiction
• How patterns of thinking can play a role in sustaining addiction
• The difference between supporting and enabling a loved one
• How addiction can impact the emotional well-being of families
• Why healing and reconnection may still be possible over time
• How the brain has the capacity to adapt and change

Resources

Learn more about Dr. Robb Kelly

https://robbkelly.com/

Explore Breath Box Studio

https://robbkelly.com/breathbox/

Episode Summary

In this episode of Thrive While Loving an Addict, KL Wells sits down with Dawn Jackson, a nurse, grief recovery specialist, and author, to explore what happens when grief goes unnamed for years. Dawn shares her experience growing up with both a biological father and a stepfather struggling with alcoholism, and how those early environments shaped what felt normal, safe, and familiar.

Through years of personal development work, Dawn searched for something that would reach the deeper layers of her pain. It was not until she encountered grief recovery work that things began to make sense. This conversation gently explores how unresolved grief can sit beneath patterns formed in addiction-impacted families, and what can begin to shift when that grief is acknowledged.

Key Discussion Points

1. Growing up with two father figures affected by alcoholism and how that shaped early patterns
2. How chaos can become familiar, and why calm may feel unfamiliar or uncomfortable
3. Grief as an underlying thread in addiction, abuse, and life transitions
4. The limits of personal growth work when grief remains unprocessed
5. How grief recovery work can offer a different layer of understanding
6. The emotional complexity of setting limits with a parent in active addiction
7. The shift from surviving to building a more stable and grounded life
8. Naming grief as a step toward understanding long-held emotional pain

Some Questions I Ask

1. When do you begin to recognize that patterns may be repeating?
2. What helped you continue searching for something deeper?
3. Was there a moment when you chose to set limits and accept what is?
4. How do you relate to the idea that life may be happening for you rather than to you?
5. Who are you now on the other side of this healing work?

In This Episode, You Will Learn

1. How unresolved grief can influence patterns developed in childhood
2. Why calm and stability can sometimes feel unfamiliar after growing up in chaos
3. The difference between ongoing personal growth and addressing grief directly
4. Why setting limits with a loved one in addiction can feel painful regardless of the choice
5. How naming grief can bring clarity to long-standing emotional experiences
6. Why healing yourself is not abandonment, but an honest response to a complex situation

Resources

Journey to Peace and Healing by Dawn Jackson

Journey to Self Discovery: 100 Days of Soulful Reflections by Dawn Jackson

Free guide: Unburdening Your Heart: Transforming the Beliefs Stealing Your Joy

https://www.dawnmichelejackson.com/unburdening-your-heart-gift

Learn more about Dawn Jackson

https://www.dawnmichelejackson.com

Connect on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/dawnmichelejackson

Connect on LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/in/dawn-michele-jackson/