Strawberry Letter

To Shack or Not to Shack


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I am 25 years old and just graduated from college and just started my career in August with a great company. I've only been with a company for five months and just found out that I'm pregnant. My boyfriend of three years is currently living out of state but has just accepted a position with an equally great company near me. We have already been discussing him moving up here and us getting married in the future. But now that I'm pregnant we decided to move the wedding date up to next year. Now here's the issue. He wants me to move in with him since I'm pregnant. He is very adamant about having his family all under one roof. My family is telling me not to move in with him because we are not yet married. His family on the other hand is saying we should move in together because we're going to be a family now. I do not doubt for a minute that he is going to marry me. I have known him for four years now and I know him to be a man of his word. He said to me if I'm asking you to move in with me it's because I am ready to make that next step and I truly believe that he is. But we have still decided to wait until next year to make that next step. Some of my family said that we should go to the courthouse, but I feel like we will be doing that just so I can move in with him. And we already decided to wait until next year. We have a place set up and we have been looking at rings and discussing our budget for everything. Also I do not want to rush to do everything at once. He's starting a new job moving to a new area and we're having a baby. Been adding getting married and moving in together all at the same time. I know we already have three out of five going on but I am afraid of adding more stress because we really do not know what we're getting into. We're only 25 years old. I'm stuck at a crossroads because no matter what decision I make I will be disappointing someone. I know it's my life and I have to make my own decisions. But all my life I have been the good one. I've always done what I was told always strove to make everyone around me happy with my actions and decisions. I do not want to begin feeling like me getting pregnant is destroying everyone else's life. This is truly a blessing even though it was not done the traditional way. I know he still plans on marrying me either way but I will cause a lot of strain but it will cause a lot of strain in our relationship if I do not move in and thinking about our future. I do not want to cause any extra stress on a relationship. I think we have enough as it is right now with distance pregnancy marriage and soon a baby so my question is should I move in with him and upset my family or not move them with him and upset my soon to be family?

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