Today I Learned (Nothing)

Watching Jason declutter and basically just vomit most of his belongings on the conveyor belt at the airport is like watching a terrible, reverse magic trick. Meanwhile, being without his children on a trip allowed Steve to enjoy Adam Sandler again for the first time in a decade. Finally, cities sure have some dumb names, amirite?

Jason's daughter owns him with a combination of well-timed farts and unusually strong will. Steve lived the childhood of a human tackling dummy and he ... loved it?

Steve is raising his kids right on a steady diet of parental care and Mario Kart. It's driving Jason up a wall, and not in the Mario Kart 8 way. Also, stop trying to bridge the generation gap, it's fine just where it is.

Clam up and have a listen to the best TILN discussions of the last decade! Even though it's double the usual length (a whole half-hour!), we still value your time and we've included only the best bits, like Jason's unnecessary keychain size, clams in the sun, literal and figurative holes, creeping on imaginary underaged teens, bodies as temples, Idaho factoids, and MORE!

The penultimate episode of the decade dances with the one that brought us, as Steve has more bathroom thoughts. Ever seen one-way glass in a bathroom stall? How about trough-style urinals that match the sinks? After those oddities, Jason knows when you're pooping, and it's okay.

It's time to kick back, pour some 'nog, light the fire, and enjoy Steve's misfortunes and misadventures from China. Learn second-hand why you should strive to learn "butthole, itchy, and no I don't want to see your porn room" before you journey east.

Inspired by Ryan Estrada's Ryan Made Mistakes, Jason and Steve recount their own personal experiences with romance on and across the Internet. Listen as Steve recounts his solo sojourn to the ladies unmentionables section and hear Jason swear up and down his "friend" met his Internet girlfriend IRL and OMG it had him ROTFLHAO. 

Steve visited the East Coast for a few days so now HE'S WALKIN' 'ERE or something. He also perfected his accents of the various Northeastern denizens he encountered and yes, it is a must listen. Jason cries with laughter and continues eating in the background, just enjoying every moment of it.

It must be the holidays, because Steve found new dance that will probably get him fired at the company party! Also, both of the guys are content knowing their unread library of classic literature is enough to earn their children's love and admiration. Just don't ever ask Jason what Animal Farm is really about.

Is there a better mantra than your favorite ice cream? Steve's daughter doesn't think so. Also, Jason would appreciate it if you'd stop cramming warm fruits into his desserts (you MONSTERS). Finally, the guys discuss the aromas that our feminine and masculine neighbors might leave in their wake and why one is unquestionably more pleasant than the other.