Sad news, everyone. Jeremy Spencer, co-founder of everyone's favorite valor-stealing hard rawk radio staple Five Finger Death Punch is leaving the band. Dry your eyes, friends. It'll be OK. To commemorate the occasion, we decided to read Spencer's poorly-selling celebrity memoir. Released in 2014, Death Punch'd: Surviving Five Finger Death Punch's Metal Mayhem briefly broke the top ten celebrity memoir best seller charts before ending up in my local used book store's bargain bin. It's a shame that no one read it before now; the book is chock-full of Spencer's own tales of being a loathsome sack of shit told in his signature brand of brazenly unfunny prose. Smirk at his contentions that he's smarter than all of you. Chuckle along as expresses great shame at hooking up with an overweight woman. Laugh your fucking head off with Jeremy as he tells jokes about raw-dogging chicks in port-o-potties before going back home and almost certainly infecting his unsuspecting girlfriend. This book sucks ass but we read the whole thing just for you so you'd better fucking listen.

Music featured on this show:

Road Mutant – “March of the Road Mutants” from Back to the Green Zone

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