A case of hantavirus. A rap about monkeys. Nerve damage. Today is nothing if packed with intrigue. And if that's not enough, an NFL player is making poverty wages. Well, okay, he's making over a million a year, but still.

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Football season is over, which means Costaki is free to roam the land once more. This week he's roaming his way up to Minnesota at Acme and making a pit stop in studio to visit us. Tom and Kathryn aren't here in person, continuing a 12 year tradition of Costaki rarely, if ever, meeting them face to face.

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Get off social media. Well, wait, hold on. Stay on social media, but only to check for updates on our page. Aside from that, you don't need it. It's addictive, it's stressful, and do you really care when someone you haven't seen since high school goes to Europe? Be honest.

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Back in the forgotten year of 2011, Big Jay and Dave started a podcast called Legion of Skanks. And wouldn't you know it, it's still going. Sometimes a podcast is just so good it lasts forever. Of course, we credit ourselves for its longevity by having them on our show, boosting their popularity through the roof. Yeah, that's gotta be it.

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You've maybe bought Flamin' Hot Cheetos. But have you bought Cheetos the breathe fire hot enough to melt boulders? If so, head over to Kinko's and get that thing laminated, because you've got a real treasure on your hands.

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Bob can make some noise. Is it any wonder his wife of decades can rise to the occasion? This is especially true when a certain someone can't get his camera looking as nice and clean as Mary's. Also on the docket, they managed to do a whole Oscars show without bringing up Trump once. A good omen? We sure hope so. I guess we'll find out in a year.

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The thing about being a radio legend (Paul's words, not ours) is if you have bad taste in movies, you're still fair game. Although to Tom's credit, at least he knows who Gene Hackman is. The same cannot be said for everyone in studio.

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Dustin is a Republican who's very active on X. Mike Bryant is a Democrat who's very active on our show. Put them together and what do you get? Civil discourse. Yes, it's still possible. The trick is, you've gotta want it.

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No, we haven't been going for 50 years. Not quite. But The Price is Right has, and Drew Carey has been on it for almost 20, if you can believe that. Also hard to believe: the amount of sugar in SpaghettiOs.

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How often do you wish society would just go back to the old days before everyone was constantly on their phone? Well you're in luck, because we have the perfect solution. Simply go to prison. There isn't a smartphone to be seen behind those walls. And you don't even really have to commit a real crime to get there. Put your kid in an Instagram video and don't credit them. Bam, you're free of the tyranny of the iPhone for a few years.

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