Being a pope isn't easy. First off, you have to be 140 years old, so at the very least your knees are going to be hurting the entire time. Then there's the whole "speaking for an entire religion" thing. That's a lot of pressure. If you really want to change the world, why not just move to Minnesota and become a career criminal? Nothing bad will happen.

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The Pope has died after a long illness. At least he made it through one more Easter. As did every parent who spent the day cooking, painting eggs, and telling their kid that no, you can't eat the whole chocolate bunny at once.

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Ever been in a sensory deprivation tank? How about Minnesota's famous anechoic chamber? Or space? Turns out there's a lot of ways to shut out the world and be alone with your thoughts, if that's what you're into. If not, go see Jake and be alone with his thoughts instead.

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The Twins are roaring into 4th place. And by 4th place I mean 4th from the worst. But hey, it's better than 3rd, right?

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The Gene Hackman story continues to get stranger. Hoarding, rats, endless pill bottles. This sounds like a job for a psychiatrist. Or perhaps Kristyn. Jesse's got other things to worry about, like the entire standup comedy industry.

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Rats are gross. Mice are also gross, but in a very different way. Don't let their similar appearance fool you: rats in the house and mice in the house carry very different connotations. But talking about either of them is more pleasant than talking about the Twins.

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Rory McIlroy just finished a Grand Slam. I don't see what the big deal is. I've eaten plenty of them. Regardless, apparently it's important now that he's done it. What's also important is that Katy Perry and a bunch of other women went into space for about ten minutes. I bet I could do that too, if I wanted. Getting back to Earth, maybe not, but that's not the part people care about anyway.

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We're in the era of the kidfluencer, which sounds fun but apparently isn't. Not that abusing children for profit is anything new; first it was the mines, then it was chimneys, now it's TikTok. That's why everyone over the age of 60 has a back problem. All that mining they did as kids.

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If you haven't seen the latest episode of 1923, you might want to hold off on this episode. We also spoil what happens to people who take steroids their whole lives. Talk about a bad ending. And speaking of bad endings, that "prison" place sounds rather unpleasant. Makes you wonder why so many people keep going there.

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If you ever order something, keep an eye on that tracking information. You never know when it might enter a portal into purgatory. At that point, you should probably call someone. You should also call someone if you find a Yorkie that's been on the lam for five years. What you shouldn't do is micromanage your LDL. Live healthy and stop worrying so much.

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