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Identity is what allows us to have a fundamental understanding of who we are.  Race is part of that identity, what isn't discussed enough is misidentifying and then the long-term effects that flow from this.

Love & Hip Hop Miami Season 4 Episode 10 & Episode 11 - The discussion of race is polarised when Shelah (who is Black passing identifies as Black but is mixed race) has a yearly Curly Curvey Conscious Retreat - creating healthy spaces for Black Women. The issue arises when she is questioned as to why her retreat is not inclusive of non-Black Women. I unpack this and further discuss the issue of identity and why Black Women are regularly questioned for creating spaces for Black Women. This being said there is a responsibility for Black Men to educate the non-Black Women they choose to create and/ or build a home with, that having children with Black Men does not mean they are raising Black Children, only Black Women Can Give Birth to Black Children.  - Let's discuss.

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Hi, my name is Toya and I have social anxiety.

The irony here is people would debate with me and be unable to understand how being on one of the biggest reality shows, hosting shows, and public speaking that I couldn't suffer from social anxiety. There is also the assumption that if you are bold, confident, and direct this then precludes you from being socially anxious. 

Social anxiety includes having an overwhelming fear of social situations like meeting or speaking to people. One of the biggest issues is the perception. that someone who experiences social anxiety is rude when in fact it is often difficult to explain and in fact, what is being mistaken for rudeness is someone merely 'reacting to their symptoms.  

In this episode, we also discuss social anxiety in the workplace and how it manifests within different parts of our lives. - Let's discuss.

This episode includes x3 dilemmas.

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In the workplace how many of you feel comfortable saying NO. Do you know how to say no when your workload is too much to take on additional work and responsibilities? We have been conditioned to think saying no is obstructive, rude, and not collaborative, this is toxic. 

In this episode, we will be discussing how to push back and in turn, set boundaries and manage people's expectations, removing the myth that YES leads to visibility and recognition. I also share my recent experience of saying NO at work and how I used the workplace lingo to make clear that I cannot and will not break my back to take on additional work that then benefits others to my own detriment.

PS White privilege made an appearance last week attempting to call me a name that doesn't below to me. Everyday labour, not everyday violence

We also answer a dilemma regarding hybrid working and a company attempting to force a fellow Black Queen into allowing them to amend her employment contract to align to her colleagues who are hybrid workers. She is in fact a remote worker. - Let's discuss

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Music (Intro and Outro) Written and created by Nomadic Star

• Stationary Company: Sistah Scribble
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• Website: www.sistahscribble.com

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We cannot talk about the world of work in isolation without discussing other aspects of our lives. We do not live to work we work to live.

In this episode we talk about losing our identity in relationships and forgetting we stand as individuals first. Also, I cannot discuss the loss of identity and not touch on certain relationships that could have completely changed the trajectory of our lives. Dating someone and in some cases not knowing they have engaged in criminal activity. What is clear is that there are not enough conversations on this topic and every now and then here on the Toya Talks podcast we speak on these topics to allow us to have a holistic view of the life that we live. No ones life or decision is perfect in fact, we all are guilty of making questionable decisions. Lets discuss further


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I always talk about doing things with a clean heart and clean hands. For Ronald McDonald 
(Ep 77 'Closet Racist) and Matt Hancock karma has come at them fast. Yes..... The United Nations of Karma.

In this episode, I also discuss Jeanie from The Real who announced she is pregnant with her first child with Jeezy (her second husband). She was previously married and very vocal about not wanting to have children. Fast forward she recently released a youtube video about changing her mind having worked through her trauma and realising she was then open to parenthood. But there is also something to be said about wanting t to have a child with the right person. We don't always talk about that and in this episode, we unpack that. 

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Music (Intro and Outro) Written and created by Nomadic Star

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• Instagram: @sistahscribble
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Negotiation is a topic that I am passionate about because once I understood my value and the concept of leverage, I have been able to negotiate favorable contract terms including financial negotiations that have enabled me to navigate my career and climb the career ladder faster. I have also dedicated a chapter in my book to negotiation. (Book coming soon....)

In this episode, we discuss a Black Queen who commenced negotiating her hourly rate but hit a roadblock when her prospective employer gave her a take it or leave it to offer. Her application of what she learned from the Toya Talks master class was wrong.  - let's discuss!

*For those of you who want to also follow me on my YouTube channel,  I will be vlogging. Vlogs from November uploaded every Sunday.
‘At Home With Toya’.
https://youtube.com/c/AtHomeWithToya

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Music (Intro and Outro) Written and created by Nomadic Star

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This is the taboo topic that has you thinking this is a you problem rather than appreciating that some of us do have mummy issues, we are shamed into silence and told we are the problem. I have lightly touched on this in previous episodes but haven't had the capacity to dedicate an episode to this topic. I had to speak to my therapist in advance of recording this, it is one thing speaking to my therapist and another recording a podcast but it's time and I know there are women who need to hear this. We are navigating life & work

In this episode, I discuss how mummy issues have dominated my life from how I saw myself to having to unlearn toxic behaviors and learn to recognise and address the flawed mother and daughter relationship society doesn't discuss enough.  Culture and religion tell us our mother can do no wrong, recognising this thinking is wrong and toxic in itself. 

Not everyone has had or experienced the idyllic mother and daughter relationship. Many of us do not know what that feels  like and some of us continue to crave some of us knowing accepting that this may not happen. I have been very honest with my journey with therapy in parenting the younger me. As I now sit in and navigate adulthood I am filled with disappointment that I was not enough and that I haven't had the mother daughter relationship my younger self craved and my adult self needed. 

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Music (Intro and Outro) Written and created by Nomadic Star

• Stationary Company: Sistah Scribble
• Instagram: @sistahscribble
• Website: www.sistahscribble.com

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Following on from the last episode 'Closet Racist' we have the conclusion to my formal grievance complaint against Ronald McDonald.

In this episode, we also discuss the outcome I was pursuing and understanding the difference between vengeance and karma.  

Email me:  [email protected]
 
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Music (Intro and Outro) Written and created by Nomadic Star

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Many think racism is overt and clear discriminatory language, it's easier to prove if racism is overt. However, we know it also exists in disadvantageous treatment. The UK is the architect of racism and is responsible for the evolution and protection of racism.

Many organisations refuse to stand behind their race discrimination and equality policies but would rather maintain the facade of performative support. Leading on from Episode 75 (Season 2) 'No Caller ID', I submitted a formal written grievance complaint against Ronald McDonald on the following grounds

1. Race Discrimination
2. Sex Discrimination
3. Harassment
4. Bullying 
5. Victimisation 
6. Bullying by coercion.

I made sure to cc Ronald. 

In this episode, I read you the grievance complaint and explain the route I took and how HR sought to gaslight me. Despite the clear evidence, I had to ensure HR understood I was willing to go as far as I needed to address my treatment.

 Email me:  [email protected]
 
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Music (Intro and Outro) Written and created by Nomadic Star

• Stationary Company: Sistah Scribble
• Instagram: @sistahscribble
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In this dilemma episode, we will be discussing x2 dilemmas.

How to inform your employer that you are unwell and unable to work and in the case of the first dilemma unwell having caught covid. 

I use to have the mentality that I will work through my sickness to hold onto my job too afraid to call in sick to protect my job. But I soon realised if I dropped dead tomorrow my role will be advertised within 24 hours. 

In this global pandemic, it appears organisations are finding new ways to harass employees reporting sickness due to covid.

Email me:  [email protected]
 
 Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalks)
 
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 www.toyatalks.com

Sponsorships - Email me: [email protected]
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www.toyatalks.com
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Music (Intro and Outro) Written and created by Nomadic Star

• Stationary Company: Sistah Scribble
• Instagram: @sistahscribble
• Website: www.sistahscribble.com