In this episode we're going to talk about religious practices, faith, and religious communities. People often ask me about how they can combine their passion and commitment to parenting from a loving and respectful place with their commitment to their faith (which might be based on a type of rewards system itself!) It's a tough but important question to answer. And this doesn't apply to just organized religion; it's applicable to any sort of belief system or way of life (like veganism, atheism, or any of the other "isms").

• [4:08] How do we get our children to adopt our belief system without controlling or manipulating?
• [6:20] Dr. Shefali shares her thoughts on religion and parenting.
• [11:44] Those raised in a religious home often feel obligated to "carry the torch".
• [15:15] Any religion, belief, or way of life can come from a place of love or fear.
• [16:59] Trying to force others into our beliefs is a sign of insecurity.
• [18:09] Others raised in a religious home completely abandon their faith as they come of age.
• [19:25] It doesn't have to be "all-or-nothing". We can throw out what doesn't serve us and keep what does.
• [23:06] Use critical thinking and discernment.
• [24:34] Check our motives; are we doing (or not doing) something because we're afraid of what others might think or say?
• [26:22] Do our beliefs make us separatists?
• [27:41] Is there duality in our beliefs?
• [29:41] We should share our beliefs with our children and give them space to explore and make their own interpretations.
• [30:15] Instead of forcing, controlling, or manipulating religious activity, let's inspire it.
• [33:20] Try to create positive interactions. Make the positive to negative ratio 5:1.

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Links & Resources

• Gottman Institute article
• Show notes: www.theparentingjunkie.com/36