Trust on Purpose

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In this episode, Charles and Ila dive deep into a scenario brought to them by a listener - where she loves her job, but she hates going to work because of deteriorating trust between her and her manager. They get specific about how to prepare for a conversation about rebuilding trust, with specific recommendations of what to think about, what to say, and how to say it. 

We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.

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In this episode, Charles and Ila talk about the assumptions we make when someone doesn't come through for us like we think they should, and how that impacts trust in the relationship. They also recognize the flip side - we're all human; we mess up; we miss deadlines; we don't meet promises we made. Most people don't mess up intentionally - sometimes life gets to be too much - but what stories do we make up when others are...human?

We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.

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In this episode, Ila and Charles offer a thought-provoking definition of trust that suggests we have both choice and risk in how and who we trust. They discuss the risks and benefits of our trust choices, and how those choices show up in our relationships, at work and at home.

We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.

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In this episode, Charles and Ila address one of the most frequent questions they get: "How do I repair trust after it has been broken?" When someone has broken our trust, it’s natural to build defences to protect ourselves, to pull away, disconnect or withdraw. Carrying broken trust can be heavy. There is almost always a high cost for living with distrust - for you, as well as those around you. There is another path if you choose to take it. You can talk about it with the person who has damaged your trust. Finding a way from distrust back to trust may not be easy - it can be downright difficult - but it is possible and it is a choice. And when you succeed the trust is almost always stronger than before. Charles and Ila suggest the questions to ask yourself in deciding if repairing trust is right for you, and how to approach a re-build, starting with a conversation.

We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.

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In this episode we address the biggest breakdowns we see in organizations - lack of accountability leading to missed deadlines, unmet expectations, and unfulfilled deliverables. In a world of fast and faster, how we manage our promises requires intention, commitment, and clarity about what we’re asking for and saying yes to. You’ll come away knowing how to be more clear with your requests, more accountable for what you commit to, and how to hold others accountable without micromanaging. 

We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.

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In this episode, we discuss how hard both giving and receiving feedback is for most people and why. We visit the old adages of shit sandwiches that teach people to brace for impact when someone utters the words "I'd like to give you some feedback," and the belief that no news is good news... and how that leads to unintended negative consequences. 

We discuss the power of providing feedback from a place of care (one of the foundations of the Trust framework), being intentional about building others up for success and providing timely and specific feedback. You’ll come away with clarity on how to approach and prepare for feedback conversations that build others up rather than tear them down, all the while, building stronger trust in your relationships. 

We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.

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Choosing to trust is choosing to make something you value vulnerable to another person’s actions. We're guessing that you've never thought about it from that perspective. 

It's easy to understand why it feels so uncomfortable to be in a distrusting relationship - what you value isn't safe in that person's hands - and why strong trust in the relationship feels so much better. 

In this episode, Charles and Ila unpack a framework of trust (based on Charles' "Thin Book of Trust") that they use repeatedly and successfully with clients; a framework of 4 domains that can be explored when examining your relationships.

We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.

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Ila and Charles share their personal relationships with trust in this episode. They open up, sharing personal histories and the impact that trust has had in their lives. Spoiler alert: it's not always pretty. Secrets and broken trust can create lifetimes of distrust. And trusting blindly, without question, can haunt us in ways we'll struggle to recover from. 

The good news is that we can learn real and tangible ways to build, assess, and rebuild trust. The more clearly we see and understand our own relationship with trust, the more choice we have; the more ability we have to create more of what we want in life. It's so powerful!

You'll come away with an invitation to reflect on your own relationship, to see how it’s helping or hindering what you want in your life and the relationships that matter most to you.

We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.

Send us a message - we'd love to hear from you

In this episode, we talk about missing conversations - the ones you know you should have, but don't. We've all avoided conversations or tip-toed around them, never really saying what we want to say, to avoid discomfort or for fear of damaging a relationship. Or have you sent emails to your whole team when you really wanted to send a message to just one person? These avoided conversations can cause far more harm than not having them at all. We dive into how NOT having a conversation damaged the Trust between a leader and her direct report, caused a ripple effect within their entire team, and resulted in frustration, overwhelm and resentment for everyone. You’ll come away with insight on how to avoid ending up in the same mess and tools to have that conversation you're not having.

We want to thank the team that continues to support us in producing, editing and sharing our work. Jonah Smith for the heartfelt intro music you hear at the beginning of each podcast. We LOVE it. Hillary Rideout for writing descriptions, designing covers and helping us share our work on social media. Chad Penner for his superpower editing work to take our recordings from bumpy and glitchy to smooth and easy to listen to episodes for you to enjoy. From our hearts, we are so thankful for this team and the support they provide us.