Death by suicide has long been a problem within the U.S. military, and not just among veterans: In 2020, suicide rates among active duty service members hit a six-year high.  On August 28th, 2015, Heather’s husband Tyler became one of those statistics.  Theirs is a story of friendship, of love, of family, of service and duty … and of trauma, domestic abuse and mental illness. 

If you’re experiencing thoughts of suicide, you can call or text 988. 

If you’re a victim of domestic violence and want out, you can call the National Domestic Violence hotline. You’re not alone. 

References:   Recommendations for Reporting on Suicide  Common Factors in Military Domestic Homicides: Implications for Prevention and Intervention   Military Versus Civilian Murder-Suicide  Military Suicide Rates Are at an All-Time High

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Terrible, Thanks for Asking tells the real stories of real people who have lived through the terrible things in life. TTFA Anthologies are a curated collection of some of our best stories; released in seasons that focus on a specific topic. You can find our entire episode catalog ad-free on Apple+ or Patreon.

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Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube.

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The Feelings & Co. team is Nora McInerny, Claire McInerny, Marcel Malekebu and Grace Barry.

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Find all our shows and our store at www.feelingsand.co.

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Olivia is 7 years old when her dad moves out of state to take a new job … and is never heard from again. In high school, a manilla envelope appears in Olivia’s mailbox letting her know the reason she never heard from him is because he died by suicide. But when Olivia learns as a young journalist that her father might have faked his own death all those years ago, she decides to investigate. 

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Terrible, Thanks for Asking tells the real stories of real people who have lived through the terrible things in life. TTFA Anthologies are a curated collection of some of our best stories; released in seasons that focus on a specific topic. You can find our entire episode catalog ad-free on Apple+ or Patreon.

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Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube.

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The Feelings & Co. team is Nora McInerny, Claire McInerny, Marcel Malekebu and Grace Barry.

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Find all our shows and our store at www.feelingsand.co.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Neil Pasricha’s life is falling apart. His marriage, which gave him a sense of purpose and value, is over. His best friend has died by suicide. Therapy helps, but he still struggles with all of the negativity swirling in his head. So Neil does what a lot of people did in the mid-aughts: He starts a blog — a blog about awesome things that make him happy. 

Right now, a lot of us rely on the internet and social media for connection and instead find the exact opposite. If that's you (and it probably is), this episode is for you. 

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Terrible, Thanks for Asking tells the real stories of real people who have lived through the terrible things in life. TTFA Anthologies are a curated collection of some of our best stories; released in seasons that focus on a specific topic. You can find our entire episode catalog ad-free on Apple+ or Patreon.

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Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube.

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The Feelings & Co. team is Nora McInerny, Claire McInerny, Marcel Malekebu and Grace Barry.

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Find all our shows and our store at www.feelingsand.co.

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In the last episode, we heard from people who had ideated and/or survived their own suicide attempts, as well as people who had survived a loved one’s suicide. They told us about all the unhelpful and hurtful things that people had said or done. 

But there ARE things that people can do and say that ARE helpful, and in this episode, we dive into it. 

If you're looking for resources on suicide, here are some good places to start: 

Be The One To - https://www.bethe1to.com

National Alliance on Mental Illness - https://www.nami.org

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention - afsp.org/about-suicide/suicide-statistics  

Center for Disease Control - https://www.cdc.gov/vitalsigns/suicide

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Terrible, Thanks for Asking tells the real stories of real people who have lived through the terrible things in life. TTFA Anthologies are a curated collection of some of our best stories; released in seasons that focus on a specific topic. You can find our entire episode catalog ad-free on Apple+ or Patreon.

–

Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube.

_

The Feelings & Co. team is Nora McInerny, Claire McInerny, Marcel Malekebu and Grace Barry.

_

Find all our shows and our store at www.feelingsand.co.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You know what people hate talking about? Dreams. Politics. Religion. 

Also: suicide. 

But it's important that we talk about the hard stuff (and it's kinda what we do here), so we asked you to talk to us about your experiences with suicidal ideation and suicide loss. 

For resources on suicide and mental health, nami.org has a wealth of great mental health resources. 

Text NAMI to 741741 for immediate support. 

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Terrible, Thanks for Asking tells the real stories of real people who have lived through the terrible things in life. TTFA Anthologies are a curated collection of some of our best stories; released in seasons that focus on a specific topic. You can find our entire episode catalog ad-free on Apple+ or Patreon.

–

Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube.

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The Feelings & Co. team is Nora McInerny, Claire McInerny, Marcel Malekebu and Grace Barry.

_

Find all our shows and our store at www.feelingsand.co.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Charlotte’s career is built on theoreticals. As an operating room nurse, she has a protocol for every tragedy — a “then” for every “if.” That all changes one night when, on her way home, Charlotte encounters a teenage girl on the wrong side of a guardrail on an overpass above a highway.

Charlotte wasn’t this girl’s mother, or sister, or best friend. She didn’t even know her. But Charlotte was the last person who spoke to the girl before she died. She was THERE. And now, she doesn't know how to get back to the way her life used to be.

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Terrible, Thanks for Asking tells the real stories of real people who have lived through the terrible things in life. TTFA Anthologies are a curated collection of some of our best stories; released in seasons that focus on a specific topic. You can find our entire episode catalog ad-free on Apple+ or Patreon.

–

Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube.

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The Feelings & Co. team is Nora McInerny, Claire McInerny, Marcel Malekebu and Grace Barry.

_

Find all our shows and our store at www.feelingsand.co.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is an episode about two letters. One of those is the letter Jim left for his wife, Annie, before he died by suicide. The second is the letter Annie wrote to Jim after his death — and as she dealt with her own mental health issues and suicidality in the wake of it. When someone dies by suicide, people want it to be someone’s fault, so they can (hopefully) feel less like it’s their fault. But the thing is … it’s never anyone’s fault.

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Terrible, Thanks for Asking tells the real stories of real people who have lived through the terrible things in life. TTFA Anthologies are a curated collection of some of our best stories; released in seasons that focus on a specific topic. You can find our entire episode catalog ad-free on Apple+ or Patreon.

–

Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube.

_

The Feelings & Co. team is Nora McInerny, Claire McInerny, Marcel Malekebu and Grace Barry.

_

Find all our shows and our store at www.feelingsand.co.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Terrible, Thanks for Asking tells the real stories of real people who have lived through the terrible things in life. TTFA Anthologies are a curated collection of some of our best stories; released in seasons that focus on a specific topic. You can find our entire episode catalog ad-free on Apple+ or Patreon.

–

Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube.

_

The Feelings & Co. team is Nora McInerny, Claire McInerny, Marcel Malekebu and Grace Barry.

_

Find all our shows and our store at www.feelingsand.co.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Terrible, Thanks for Asking tells the real stories of real people who have lived through the terrible things in life. TTFA Anthologies are a curated collection of some of our best stories; released in seasons that focus on a specific topic. You can find our entire episode catalog ad-free on Apple+ or Patreon.

–

Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube.

_

The Feelings & Co. team is Nora McInerny, Claire McInerny, Marcel Malekebu and Grace Barry.

_

Find all our shows and our store at www.feelingsand.co.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices