**IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT**

It is time to stop hiding in the shadows of doubt and to take a bold leap into the unknown and finally say my truth into this world... it's not easy..because once I say this, things will never be the same... not for me.. and especially not for you (yes, you)

Thanks to this Episode's sponsors

SEDATE MY RACCOON...Call 1800-SEDATE-MY-RACCOON, first 5 callers will get a complimentary box of Doritos!

TELLTALE HEARTS - it beats for you even when you aren't there

MICE FIGHTS! now on Mice Fights TV.. subscribe now!

JOBS FOR VAMPIRES.. jobs for vampires who can only work at night

Slide into my DMs and tell me if your raccoons are out of control.. @Elfymama

Like this show?? tell a friend! or leave me a review, and in thanks I will come over and whisper the truth into your earhole (for real) .. yay!

Written & Produced by Rachel Barrett

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Listen up worms... a lot of you haven't been paying attention to the rules of the cult! At this week's seminar we will be going over some basic laws and protocols, as well as handing out the monthly chores, I want all ritual goo cleaned up in a timely manner....

Slide into my DMs and tell me if what job you want in the cult .... @Elfymama

Like this show?? tell a friend! or leave me a review, and in thanks I will come over and Feng Shui your sex dungeon.. yay!

Written & Produced by Rachel Barrett

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We are here today to talk to death’s harbinger, the omen of death.. Dr Hoot Phd is our very special guest..

Owls don’t just kill. They erase. They don’t just see you. They absorb you. They are the witnesses to a world that never stops dying. And long after we are gone, when the final lights have flickered out, and our history falls into the forgotten, the owls will remain.. watching, waiting, as if they always knew this moment would come.

Slide into my DMs and tell me how far you can turn your head around.. @Elfymama

Like this show?? tell a friend! or leave me a review, and in thanks I will give you a 15% discount at Necrophiliacs Anonymous .. yay!

Written & Produced by Rachel Barrett

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

POLICE REPORT

Incident Type: Criminal Trespassing / Unlawful Entry

Summary: at approximately 12.01am on December 25, 2024, multiple reports were received regarding an unknown male suspect unlawfully entering residential properties through chimneys and other unconventional points of entry. The suspect described as a heavyset older male with a white beard, red suit, and black boots, was last seen fleeing rooftops in a sleigh led by eight unidentified reindeer.

Slide into my DMs and tell me if you have been involved in a crime.. @Elfymama

Like this show?? tell a friend! or leave me a review, and in thanks I will send you some milk and cookies to leave out for the bad man....yikes!

Written & Produced by Rachel Barrett

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

did you hear that???.... that annoying noise!!??!?!?!

They’ve been here for over 100 million years. They survived the dinosaurs. They’ve outlived empires, plagues, And yet, despite their tiny size… they are the deadliest creatures on Earth... I am here today talking to the biggest dickhead of the insect world, the Mosquito.

Slide into my DMs and tell me your blood type.... @Elfymama

Like this show?? tell a friend! or leave me a review, and in thanks I will stay the night and protect you from mosquitos.. yay!

Written & Produced by Rachel Barrett

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Una Andwich is here to tell you about this DVD, then she is deciding who from the DVD she is going to f*ck, marry, or kill... then... she will make her judgement and write her DVD Review.....

THIS IS THE EXORCIST DVD REVIEW.

Slide into my DMs and tell me what DVD's you would like Una to review... @Elfymama

Like this show?? tell a friend! or leave me a review, and in thanks I will come over and we can summon Captain Howdy and play a game together.... yay!

Written & Produced by Rachel Barrett

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Picture this.... your teachers have allowed you do a one-person dance performance of you favourite song at the school assembly...and you have chosen Olivia Newton John's 'Physical', despite having no awareness of the sexual undertones of this song...let's take a deeper dive into the lyrical composition of this classic to really understand how hard this songs bangs.

Slide into my DMs and tell me if you like to perform inappropriate songs at your school assembly.. @Elfymama

Like this show?? tell a friend! or leave me a review, and in thanks I will say all the things I know you like, make good conversation, i'll handle you just right, you know what I mean.....

Written & Produced by Rachel Barrett

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today we are taking a journey into the shadows, where the line between man and monster blurs in the pale light of the moon, and we unravel the curse of the werewolf! A creature neither fully human nor fully beast. When the moon rises, and the hunger takes hold, is the monster inside the man?? Or was he always there waiting to be set free??

Slide into my DMs and tell me if you have been involved in a curse of darkness.. @Elfymama

Like this show?? tell a friend! or leave me a review, and in thanks I will come over on the full moon and vacuum up your hair.. yay!

Written & Produced by Rachel Barrett

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you have a problem? A dilemma? A confession? A digression? LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEP AND MAYBE YOUR VOICE WILL ECHO THROUGH THE EXISTENTIAL DARKNESS OF THE VOID....

Slide into my DMs and tell me if you find strength in trauma.. @Elfymama

Like this show?? tell a friend! or leave me a review, and in thanks I will listen to you when no one else will.. yay!

Written & Produced by Rachel Barrett

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Listen up worms... if you're new to the cult meeting, we will be going through some ground rules.. but most importantly, this week we are going through the suggestion box.. better snacks at the orgies? no socks during the ritual, and most importantly.. no tambourines.. see you all at The Punishing tonight..

Slide into my DMs and tell me if you are just here for the perks.... @Elfymama

Like this show?? tell a friend! or leave me a review, and in thanks I will avoid making eye contact with you during the sacred sex ritual... yay!

Written & Produced by Rachel Barrett

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.