Two Assholes and a Mic

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In S2E50, we fight through more technical issues as Robby’s phone tries to cook itself, leading to cooling-pack inventions, Alani-assisted troubleshooting, and frozen vegetable solutions. We also debate whether green beans are actually beans, bring back random facts, talk crow taming, ancient history, flamingos, otters, DNA, and finish with the greatest crow dad joke ever: two crows are an attempted murder. 

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In S2E49, we talk ASMR, crunchy food videos, Oreo-dipping methods, soft cookies, childhood money, and how expensive games were even back in the day. Robby pitches No Man’s Sky, pirate games, and “Two Assholes” game reviews before Ian shares another house update, we debate savings versus spending, and somehow end up planning future Space-A travel, C-17 luxury, and a Top Gear rewatch. 

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In S2E48, we talk nature walks, questionable drink flavours, beard dye, balding genetics, Costco steaks, missing gravy, and Robby’s continued refusal to buy a box fan. We then test ourselves with ten random facts involving cube-shaped wombat poop, ancient sharks, unicorns, butt-breathing turtles, and an immortal jellyfish—before Robby demands a Facebook poll to decide whether Ian must finally watch The Princess Bride. 

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In S2E47, we fall into a Jupiter rabbit hole involving liquid hydrogen, solid cores, and whether throwing a match at the planet could create a new star. We also debate laying the PS5 flat, watch Robby’s internet turn him into Megatron again, compare meteor showers and eclipses, discuss another Corso puppy, hype fifty-cent Wing Wednesday, and finish with Ian finally getting closer to completing the house purchase. 

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In S2E46, Robby checks in from Alaska before flying home as we talk questionable vape flavors, Alaska-grown weed, and Peter Pug getting so excited he nearly shits himself. We also debate AI data centers and renewable-energy storage, hear about Robby’s four-wheeler trip through Alaska, and finish with VA claims, helping adult kids financially, and building credit. 

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In S2E45, we start with Roxy immediately getting in Robby’s face, old insults making a comeback, kids casually saying things they probably shouldn’t, and Ian trying out new cartridges because the current ones keep clogging. From there, Robby gets ready for Alaska, talks airport arrival habits, and Ian tells the story of Asher wanting to build a giant Zane/Ninjago mech with Robby when he visits. We then get into Power Rangers Megazords, Samsonite being “way off,” and Ian’s unexpected shoplifter takedown after seeing a security guard chasing someone through the shops. The episode also covers Riverside/Starlink connection problems, tailgaters being absolute idiots, fast-lane campers, Autobahn dreams, Robby’s floaty ’66 Mustang, Ian’s dad’s Econoline van, driving old vehicles in the heat with no AC, Alani Witch’s Brew hoarding, panic-buying toilet paper, lettuce recalls, stomach bugs, norovirus horror stories, and the emergency bathroom strategy of choosing whether the toilet or bathtub gets sacrificed first. 

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In S2E44, we bring Jackson on for the first time and immediately get into Europe, Tucson heat, brick houses that refuse to cool down, and why Ian’s biggest complaint is still no AC. Jackson talks about his new private jet flying gig, hitting 49 out of 50 states, Alaska float planes, bush pilots, scary little-plane stories, and why he is absolutely not a water-plane guy. We also get into The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, buying art in Europe and accidentally paying more for shipping than the artwork, trains versus planes, getting stuck on the Dallas airport Skylink, flying railroad security for BNSF, catching people by the tracks with heat cameras, and why train thieves apparently wait for thunderstorms. From there, we talk mechanic life, airline benefits, brutal ramp temperatures, Phoenix heat shutting down takeoffs, negative-fifty cold, Robby’s climatic lab memories, cigars, vapes, car wraps, rust, Japan’s strict JCI inspections, Jackson’s GTI engine disaster, Robby’s Beetle still needing wiring and a motor, fun little manual cars, EcoSport Mario Kart energy, drunk Facebook Marketplace decisions, and buying a turbo Beetle because the guy actually drove it down to Tucson. 

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In S2E43, we start off talking GTA 5 money grinds, warehouses, motorcycle club missions, selling “math,” Coca-Cola, Mary Jane, counterfeit cash, forged documents, nightclub work, bunker runs, and Robby trying to make enough fake money to keep himself entertained before GTA 6. From there, we get into Lego Batman: Legacy of the Dark Knight, Batgirl’s annoying hacking mechanic, bad internet, recording locations, Ian’s house plans, writing down ideas, conspiracy theory shows, The Simpsons predicting everything, Kamala possibly running again, insane grocery prices, Texas beef somehow still being expensive, raw dog-diet ideas, pig ears, chicken feet, frozen banana treats, and Ian’s trip to Felixstowe beach. We also talk about Ian’s recent back procedure, tailbone soreness, scar tissue, catheter injections, Robby’s heart attack and widow-maker blockage, how much better blood flow can change everything, brain power, Lucy, telekinesis, bloodbending from Avatar, why Ian needs to watch the cartoon, One Piece being way too many episodes, Dragon Ball Z Kai cutting out the fluff, and Robby debating whether to drive the Mustang to work. 

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In S2E42, we kick things off with Robby doom scrolling One Piece and GTA videos while Ian talks through house plans, office garage dreams, fire pits, fans for the kids’ rooms, and eventually getting AC installed. From there, Slinky’s cone-head chaos takes over, along with dog feeding routines, Roxy stealing leftovers, giant cow bones, Starlink problems, and Riverside turning Robby into full Megatron mid-conversation. We also get into how we categorize friendships, why some people are long-distance friends versus in-person friends, trying to animate podcast reels, Robby’s baseball game, broken bats, expensive parking, mosquito traps, Japan earthquakes, memories of the 2011 disaster relief trip to Minamisanriku, parking-lot etiquette when cars are backing out, Texas Walmart chaos, “People of Walmart” energy, Robby’s painted nails and flip-flop uniform, and finally discovering that his Peaky Blinders-looking hat is apparently an Irish flat cap. 

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In S2E41, we bring John back on and immediately get into retired “love me walls,” coins, shadow boxes, Robby definitely not smoking tobacco in Oregon, Jessie chewing rocks, and whether certain people looked like they grew up eating limestone. From there, we talk big-head headset problems, carbonated “water,” Robby getting caught at the bar when he was supposed to be recording with John and Ian, Riverside connection issues, Brooke having a boyfriend, John teaching his daughters real-world car skills, jump-starting cars, changing tires, oil changes, and why kids should know how to handle basic mechanical problems. We also get into old-man driving habits, having fewer friends after the military, hanging out at the bar just to see familiar people, tattoo ideas drawn by kids, architecture and video game art plans, extroverted versus introverted kids, Asher’s nonstop energy, Coraline as a comfort movie, turning podcast reels into animation, hating the sound of your own voice, customer-service personalities, blunt post-military workplace problems, shutting down John’s gym after burning himself out, mini-stroke warnings, slowing down after forty, and the dream of paying everything off before getting a chill job at AutoZone for car-part discounts.

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