Unconsoleable

Jessica's new unicorn

Apologies for the lateness of these show notes, dear listeners. Anna is at GDC and struggling to keep up. To make it up to you, we will likely have many amazing guests in the coming months, so stay tuned!

This week we punched some Nazis, won some horse races, went golfing, hopping and mashing, and found adorable hidden things in an adorable, charming new game.

We also catch up on Unity’s 2016 mobile games report, wonder if Pokémon GO really expanded the mobile game player base, yell at Nintendo as per usual, and much, much more!

Please rate and review us on iTunes, follow us on Twitter (and follow Jessica and Anna too), like us on Facebook, buy our merch, and email us if you talk about your medical history loudly on a train cause we want to disapprove :p

Stuff we mentioned:

• Jessica’s Rocket appearance

• Alayna Cole

• xkcd explains the 1st Amendment

• Tanya DePass

• Tanya's episode

• Pocket Card Jockey

• Hidden Folks (iOS & Steam)

• Charming Keep (iOS & Android)

• Mudd Masher

• Super Deluxe’s Punch a Nazi

• Wii Fit

• OK Golf (iOS only)

• Rhom Bus (iOS only)

• Alto is going to the desert

• Where Cards Fall Trailer

• Life is Strange

• Luca Redwood’s new game

• Unity’s mobile games report

• iPhone Plus

• Our 2016 GOTY list

• More NES Classic Minis?

• Mobile games make you happy :)

Convicted of 18 counts of crappy opinions

Both Jessica and Anna struggled to properly control a few games this week, because hey, apparently this mobile gaming gig is hard work! Luckily, a wonderful new game has come out to make us forget about all that.

And if it's a day that ends in Y, someone has said something dumb about Nintendo—and we did record this on a Friday, sooo….

Something that's way worse than dumb, though, is the PewDiePie fiasco. We "salute" Felix for finding several ways to be horrible, rather than being content with just one! And this incident calls to mind another horrible person who has recently risen to dubious prominence after winning a Madden e-sports event. Let's not reward horrible people, ok gaming industry? This isn't hard.

Please rate and review us on iTunes, follow us on Twitter (and follow Jessica and Anna too), like us on Facebook, buy our merch, and email us if you too want to brag about your virtual horse breeding program ;-p

Stuff we mentioned:

• Ben Britten
• Miss Fisher and the Deathly Maze (iOS only)
• Pocket Card Jockey
• Narcissus (iOS only)
• Hecticube (iOS & Android)
• Never Alone
• Hidden Folks (iOS & Steam)
• Super Gridland (iOS & Android)
• Kitty Powers’ Matchmaker (iOS, Android & Steam)
• Kitty Powers
• Richard Franke
• Parallyzed (iOS & Android)
• Digby Forever (iOS only)
• Hilarious Nintendo article
• If Super Mario Run was a F2P game
• City of Love (iOS & Android)
• PewDiePie
• Disney cuts ties with Pew Die Pie
• Fiverr
• Veronica Mars
• Spawn on Me
• Resist Jam
• Devolver Digital
• Jessica’s guest spot on Disruption

We kick off this week with Jessica scolding our guest from last week’s show. Yes, you read that right. But it all has something to do with games, we swear!

Other than scolding people and solving mysteries, Jessica tries a game on the advice of a listener and finds it super hard, yet she somehow can’t stop playing it. What madness is this? Meanwhile, a game based loosely on a beloved Twitter account is very average, but hey, at least it’s free.

Anna tries to be a hardcore mobile gamer and shuns a game that seems too easy, but isn’t drawn in by one that’s much more challenging. Where oh where is the happy medium? Add to that a badly monetized, cheesy visual novel from Ubisoft, and it has been a somewhat odd gaming week.  

Turning to the news, we wonder if we should be annoyed with Nintendo (answer: usually yes, but possibly not in this case), squee about Tim Cook’s visit to ustwo, and mull over the big news from Steam this week. A big change is coming, but will it help or hurt indie developers and the platform as a whole?

Please rate and review us on iTunes, follow us on Twitter (and follow Jessica and Anna too), like us on Facebook, buy our merch, and email us if you want to tell us what car make and model most accurately represents your game :-D

Stuff we mentioned:

• Benjamin Britten
• Tin Man Games
• Miss Fisher and the Deathly Maze (iOS only)
• Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries
• Faithful listener @StrawVagetarian
• Super Gridland (iOS & Android)
• Swap Sword (iOS only)
• We Rate Dogs on Twitter
• Good Dogs (iOS & Android)
• Alien Path (iOS & Android)
• Missileman (iOS only)
• City of Love (iOS & Android)
• Nintendo says mobile is just a means to an end
• Mazda CX-9
• Mazda 3
• Tim Cook visits ustwo
• Dan Gray
• Mills
• Steam axes Greenlight
• Itch.io
• Resist Jam

After inserting himself into our 100th episode despite never having been a guest, the mighty Ben Britten finally joins us on the actual show.

Ben may not have an Aussie accent, but he does have an Academy Award and, in our opinion, a great life story all around.

We talk to Ben about how he got into games, making the shift from premium to free-to-play, Mighty Games’ newest (and most charming? :-)) arrival and much more!

Please rate and review us on iTunes, follow us on Twitter (and follow Jessica and Anna too), like us on Facebook, buy our merch, and email us if you’r currently developing a horsey game, because we'd like to know more! :-p

Stuff we mentioned:

• Mighty Games
• Matt Hall
• Matt Ditton
• Matt Ditton’s expletive-laden episode
• NZGDC
• Tin Man Games
• The Arcade
• Film Victoria
• Timothy Best
• Crossy Road (iOS & Android)
• Shooty Skies (iOS & Android)
• Disney Crossy Road (iOS & Android)
• Charming Keep (iOS & Android)
• Charming Keep website
• AdVenture Capitalist! (iOS & Android)
• Clicker Heroes (iOS & Android)
• Pocket Card Jockey
• Rhiannon Poley
• Ben’s GCAP talk
• Hipster Whale
• Academy Awards technical awards
• Stealth
• Ghost Rider
• Neil Rennison
• Scott Bartlett  
• Pinchworm (iOS only)
• Factorio
• Borderlands
• Skyrim
• Human Resource Machine (iOS & Android & Steam)
• Little Inferno (iOS, Android & Steam)
• Unconsoleable stickers and more                                                                                                

Reminder: your fresh horrors device also does games

American politics continues to be a trash fire, but hey, at least we've got games!

Jessica’s love affair with that horsey game continues, but she tears herself away for a bit to try some other games. She even gets to engage in her favorite activity in one of them: snooping!

Anna is somewhat enamored with a new endless runner, but is super sad about her inability to play another game that's really great — unless you’re the type to get lost. Also, cute critters have come on the scene and we may want to take a ride in their spaceship.

But that's not all! There's some potentially game-changing news for App Store devs, exciting adventure games coming this year, a Neko Atsume movie (!!!!!) and a study about female gamers that we think misses the mark.

Please rate and review us on iTunes, follow us on Twitter (and follow Jessica and Anna too), like us on Facebook, buy our merch, and email us if you’ve taught your cat to pee in the toilet cause, well, you're weird :-p

Stuff we mentioned:

• Kiva Bay
• Our episode with Kiva
• Body dysmorphia
• Toxic masculinity
• Holocaust Remembrance Day
• Twitter account tweets out passenger manifest of ship w/Jews from Europe
• Pocket Card Jockey
• A Normal Lost Phone (iOS & Android)
• Poochie & Yoshi’s Woolly World
• Our friend Jenni
• No Man’s Sky
• Shards of Memories (iOS & Android)
• Sky Dancer (iOS & Android)
• Red’s Kingdom (iOS only)
• Nubs’ Adventure (iOS & Android)
• Splitter Critters (iOS only)
• King Rabbit (iOS only)
• Agent A: A Puzzle in Disguise (iOS & Android)
• Devs will soon be able to reply to App Store reviews
• Yeti Pie (iOS only)
• Neko Atsume movie trailer
• Adventure games to look forward to in 2017
• Jenny LeClue
• Full Throttle Remastered
• Tacoma
• Spawn on Me episode w/Steve Gaynor
• Female gamers study
• US pro soccer pay structure
• Stardew Valley

Although maybe this should be an Australian flag

Our newly inaugurated president scares us to death, but we are here for the games. They help us cope and we hope they work that way for you too.

Anna finds solace in a silly Japanese cult game while Jessica continues to self-medicate with hefty doses of Pocket Card Jockey.

We also talk about a perennial favorite topic: what Apple can do to move mobile gaming forward. The iPhone recently turned 10, so someone saw fit to ask a bunch of dudes this question. But you know you'd rather hear our thoughts, right? :)

Finally, it turns out Steam and mobile gaming share many of the same problems matching players to games. A recent article delves into this and so do we!

Please rate and review us on iTunes, follow us on Twitter (and follow Jessica and Anna too), like us on Facebook, buy our merch, and email us if you can get Jessica a job at Nintendo or Apple :-p

Stuff we mentioned:

• Pocket Card Jockey
• Yuri (iOS only)
• Our friend Brian
• Charming Keep
• Mighty Games
• Nintendo Switch
• Snakebird (iOS & Android)
• Minekos Market
• Hidden My Game by Mom (iOS & Android)
• Hidden My Game by Mom 2 (iOS & Android)
• Super Mario Run is coming soon to Android      
• Nintendo’s next mobile game is coming soon too
• PocketGamer asks a bunch of dudes to speculate on the future of iOS gaming
• Yankee Swaps   
• Megan Fox
• How developers want Steam to improve in 2017

I didn't do it. It wasn't me.

Listeners know we have strong political beliefs, and of course strong beliefs about games. But toilet paper? It turns out Jessica is fairly indifferent, but Anna isn't, and an upcoming game has her and others in a bit of a tizzy.

Speaking of toilets, as we are often wont to do, we chuckle at a developer who has realized that people play their game on the toilet. of course we knew it all along, and all joking aside, there are some good lessons there about understanding your players.

All this plus some of our reactions to the Nintendo Switch news, what we are playing (Pugs! Cat horses! Chickens!), and much more.

Please rate and review us on iTunes, follow us on Twitter (and follow Jessica and Anna too), like us on Facebook, buy our merch, and email us if you have strong toilet paper feelings you'd like to share with us ;-)

Stuff we mentioned:

• Pocket Card Jockey
• Ron Gilbert
• Jessica’s cat horse
• Breakout Ninja (iOS only)
• Milkmaid of the Milky Way (iOS & Steam)
• Cluckles’ Adventure (iOS & Android)
• Legend of the Skyfish (iOS & Android)
• Party Pugs (iOS & Android)
• Our friend Janie
• Hitman GO (iOS, Android & PS4)
• Tiny Rails (iOS & Android)
• Splatoon 2
• There will be a new Mario Kart
• Wii Sports
• Why does this cost $50?!!
• Phone screens are super dirty
• Developer realizes their players play their game on the toilet
• You Must Build a Boat (iOS & Android)
• 10000000 (iOS & Android)            
• Jenn Sandercock
• The toilet paper in Thimbleweed Park is WRONG

It's a flower

We’ve talked about playing games in the bathroom, but what about controlling a game with a part of one’s anatomy? Yes, these are brave and wild times in which this will soon be possible  for those who backed a certain IndieGoGo campaign.

Besides vaginas, this episode sees us dive into the 2017 gaming season with some featured games we didn’t hate! In fact, we liked pretty much everything we played this week, even though we just used our hands to do it (how boring!).

We also talk about some wacky news, like Iran freaking out about Clash of Clans (and not because it has $100 IAPs!), predictably underwhelming mobile category award nominees, and more.

Finally, what does 2017 have in store for mobile games?  We ponder one recent take and talk about things we’d like to see change in on the platform in the coming year, especially given some recent data.

Please rate and review us on iTunes, follow us on Twitter (and follow Jessica and Anna too), like us on Facebook, buy our merch, and email us if you plan on exercising your pelvic floor :-D

Stuff we mentioned:

• Whitaker Trebella
• Rescue Remedy
• Remedy Rush (iOS only)
• Pocket Gamer interview with Whit
• 3 Sprockets
• Breakout Ninja (iOS only)
• Drawn to Kill (iPad only)
• AirPods
• Milkmaid of the Milky Way (iOS only)
• Drop Flip Seasons (iOS only)
• Trick Shot (iOS & Android)
• Game Developers Choice Awards
• Iran bans Clash of Clans
• Mini Metro episode
• Most Games are not a Vagina
• Luxuria Superbia (iOS & Android)
• IndieGoGo campaign for the vagina controller
• Kegel exercises
• Pelvic floor
• Zombies, Run! (iOS & Android)    
• GamesIndustry.biz looks ahead to gaming in 2017  
• Our GOTY episode
• Love You to Bits (iOS only)
• No Man’s Sky
• EEDAR data about mobile gaming habits     
• Jessica’s cute owl design

It's our SECOND ANNUAL (hey, that's totally a big deal!) GAME OF THE YEAR EPISODE!!! We are using all CAPS in case you can't tell how excited we are. Because we're excited!

2016 may not have been a good year for politics, but it was a pretty decent year for mobile games, as it turns out. So on this episode we celebrate the many games that we loved and cherished. We’ve got categories like prettiest, most innovative, most addictive, weirdest, and many more!

Unlike last year, the winners aren’t listed in the show notes below, so you’ll have to listen to find out who won everything, including our ultimate game of the year and our individual picks for best game of 2016. There’s some arguing and lots of hemming and hawing, but we feel great about our winners and we hope you will too.

Please rate and review us on iTunes, follow us on Twitter (and follow Jessica and Anna too), like us on Facebook, buy our merch, and email us if you think there’s a great game from 2016 that we missed!

Stuff we mentioned:

• Severed (iOS only)
• Our master list of best games of 2016
• Isoland (iOS only)
• Love You to Bits episode
• Too Many Limes (iOS only)
• A Tiny Game of Pong (iOS only)
• Pinchworm article
• The Last Door (iOS, Android & Steam)
• Zach Gage
• Kenny Sun
• Circa Infinity (iOS & Android)
• Reigns episode
• Furdemption (iOS only)
• Mini Metro episode  
• Pocket Card Jockey    
• Versus Evil

These models will impart sage wisdom unto you

Jessica and Anna are both played a new train game featuring a woman who explains stuff: a common occurrence in mobile games. Now, women know things, but Anna isn't sure about all these advisory women in mobile games. Why are they there? Is it for the right reasons or the wrong ones?

Something we’re more sure of is that Nintendo’s eShop is awful. Nevertheless, Jessica managed to play a game on her 3DS that she actually liked!

And of course, Super Mario Run is out and people have Opinions. About the price, about the monetization, about the gameplay, and more. We dive into some of these takes on Nintendo’s first real mobile game, and of course provide our own as the advisory women that we are :-)

Please rate and review us on iTunes, follow us on Twitter (and follow Jessica and Anna too), like us on Facebook, buy our merch, and email us if you'd like us to womansplain something to you :-p

Stuff we mentioned:

• AirPods
• Matt Ditton’s swear-filled episode
• Tiny Rails (iOS & Android)
• Hermione
• Our Gaming Yoda
• Pocket Card Jockey
• Super Mario Run (iOS only)   
• Shareware
• Age of Empires
• Super Mario Run’s inevitable backlash
• Kotaku Toad Rally piece
• Leap Day (iOS & Android)
• People are upset about SMR’s data usage
• NES Classic Mini
• Should VR take its cue from casual games?
• Job Simulator
• Toilet gamer iOS stickers