Unconsoleable

You "win," you stupid jerk with your stupid trophy

Who is the “lucky” winner of the first prize in dickery? It could apply to many people, as this episode will demonstrate.

Sandwiched between guest episodes, this installment of the show brings you the Jessica and Anna you know and love, talking (and complaining) about the games we’re playing and calling out developers who have a dim view of mobile gaming, but still want to make mobile games.

Luckily we played some great stuff this week too. Jessica rediscovers the joy of a Quell game while Anna plays a fencing game that actually feels like real fencing. En garde! There’s also some news to cover and we continue to be concerned about gaming’s favorite whipping boy, Nintendo.

Please rate and review us on iTunes, follow us on Twitter (and follow Jessica and Anna too), like us on Facebook, buy our merch, and email us if you think you can talk some sense into Nintendo; ACTUALLY NO, email Nintendo ;-)

Stuff we mentioned:

• Ron Gilbert episode
• Guild of Dungeoneering (iOS, Android & Steam)
• Our Gaming Yoda
• Hearthstone (iOS & Android)
• The Booby Mage
• Road Not Taken (iOS, Steam & PS4)
• Bushido Bear (iOS & Android)
• Snakebird (iOS & Android)
• Puzzlepops! (iOS only)
• Snakebird devs don't play mobile games
• Furdemption (iOS only)
• The Guides (iOS & Android)
• King Rabbit (iOS only)
• Quell Zen (iOS & Android)
• Quell Memento (iOS & Android)
• Luca Redwood's tweet
• The developer whose game we trashed
• FIE Swordplay (iOS & Android)
• China has overtake the US in iOS game revenue
• Hipster Whale moves into publishing
• Investors realize Nintendo doesn't own Pokemon
• CNBC article on Nintendo
• NX might run all Nintendo mobile games
• Pokemon GO Plus wrist accessory
• Pokemon GO revenue not affecting other mobile games
• Pokeball pasties
• Sega mini-console

Our guest this week is none other than Ron Gilbert, who we determined is definitely legendary, has achieved everything based on skill alone, and is totally not old. Is any of this true?! You'll have to listen to find out :-p

We go all over the place in this episode, from the far reaches of adventure gaming history to what makes a game succeed to good and bad design in adventure games and even movies.

What mobile games does Ron like? Is he ever moving to Australia? Will there ever be a third Monkey Island game? And how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? We get to the bottom of all this and much more!

Please rate and review us on iTunes, follow us on Twitter (and follow Jessica and Anna too), like us on Facebook, buy our merch, and email us if you think you too are legendary (but like Ron’s sister, we might beg to differ :-))

Stuff we mentioned:

• Lucasfilm
• The cat hair puzzle
• Doom
• Monkey Island
• Firewatch
• Telltale Games
• King's Quest 4
• Thimbleweed Park
• Grim Fandango Remastered (iOS, Android & Steam)
• The Witness
• Our Blame the Game episode
• Pocket Mortys (iOS & Android)
• Seb Burnett's episode
• Survy Scallywags (iOS & Android)
• Tower defense games
• Kingdom Rush
• Love You to Bits (iOS only)
• The Cat Lady
• Bertram Fiddle (iOS, Android & Steam)
• The Ring
• Stephen King's IT
• SCUMM
• Gabriel Knight
• Jessica complains about octagonal plates
• Brazil
• Terry Gilliam
• Donnie Darko
• Exploding hamster easter egg in Maniac Mansion
• David Fox
• Matt Ditton
• Jenn Sandercock
• Michael Land

Kids today and their pokey mans

The world has officially lost their minds over Pokemon GO, but has Jessica finally become a Pokemon trainer or not? And can we trust Niantic, the game’s developer, with our data?

We also have a pretty huge announcement, squeeeee over Nintendo’s recent mini (tee hee) announcement, talk about what we’re playing of course, and Jessica looks forward to an impending VR adventure that might erase her disappointment with the Rick & Morty mobile game that fell flat.

Please rate and review us on iTunes, follow us on Twitter (and follow Jessica and Annatoo), like us on Facebook, buy our merch, and email us with questions for Ron Gilbert. We aren’t kidding around this week; DO IT!

Stuff we mentioned:

• Klocki (iOS & Android)
• Ron Gilbert's extensive Wikipedia page
• SCUMM
• Day of the Tentacle Remastered (iOS & Steam)
• Crashlands (iOS, Android & Steam)
• Love You to Bits (iOS only)
• Outfolded
• 3 Sprockets
• Pac-Man 256 (iOS, Android, Steam, PS4 & Xbox One)
• Prime Day
• Amazon Dash buttons
• Tap My Katamari (iOS & Android)
• Super Stickman Golf 3 (iOS & Android)
• Noodlecake Studios
• God of Light (iOS & Android)
• Neko Atsume (iOS & Android)
• Nintendo announces adorable mini NES
• Phoenix Wright
• Emulators
• Jessica's adventures in streaming
• Pokemon GO permissions kerfuffle
• Incense outside children's hospitals
• Pet shelters using Pokemon GO
• Autism mom's Pokemon story
• Girl gets hit by a car chasing Pokemon
• Robbery via Pokemon GO
• A gym at the Westboro Baptist Church
• Hillary Clinton does an appearance at a Pokestop
• Pokemon stampede in Central Park
• Pocket Mortys (iOS & Android)
• Rick & Morty VR game

Screenshot of Pokémon Shame courtesy of @tangentworlds

This episode is brought to you by Fracture. Go here now for more information and to get 10% off your order. Don’t forget to mention Unconsoleable in the one question survey to show your support for our show!

Yes, Pokemon GO mania has come to Unconsoleable, but for only one of your hosts (for now :-))

But before we get to all that, we took a moment to acknowledge the difficult and violent week the US has had. We hope, if you’ve struggled this week as so many have, that we can take your mind off things for a little bit. Not to forget, but just to take a mental break.

For example… did you know that idle clicker players aren’t who you would expect? Anna also found out that gamer surveys really don’t plan for our flavor of gamer. And what has Jessica been tapping like a mofo??? Find out all this and more by listening now.

Please rate and review us on iTunes, follow us on Twitter (and follow Jessica and Anna too), like us on Facebook, buy our merch, and email us if you know where the good Pokemon are :)

Stuff we mentioned:

• Recent Spawn on Me episode
• Ben from Mighty Games
• Why "lame" is bad
• Fallen London (iOS & in the browser)
• Neko Atsume (iOS & Android)
• Tap My Katamari (iOS & Android)
• The original Katamari
• Quiz on what sort of gamer you are
• Idle clicker gamers aren't who you might think
• Pokemon GO (iOS & Android)
• Pokemon international release halted
• Our friend Sabriel
• Person broke their phone playing Pokemon GO
• Police warning pedestrians to be careful
• Wyoming teen finds a body playing Pokemon GO
• Pokemon GO subreddit
• Android users in the UK are claiming gyms
• Unofficial Android APKs have malware
• Sea Hero (iOS & Android)
• Cook, Serve, Delicious (iOS, Android & Steam)
• Glu Mobile
• Gordon Ramsey Dash (iOS & Android)
• Perchang (iOS only)
• Touch Arcade article on Perchang
• Threes (iOS, Android & in the browser)

An actual WWDC bagel. Caraway seeds? Really?

Our WWDC spy has arrived! That’s right, back on the show for the third time and full of tales of San Francisco and Apple’s plans for gaming, it’s our awesome friend Joe Macirowski.

Joe rains on our parade a lot, but hey, we already knew that Apple and gaming aren’t exactly a match made in heaven. If you’ve been deluding yourselves, maybe this episode will cure you!

There’s a lot to talk about and many important questions to answer, like do games have a better shot of success on the Apple Watch or the Apple TV? Why doesn’t the West Coast know from good bagels? And will we finally find out what Craig Federighi’s hair smells like??!!! Listen now to find out.

Please rate and review us on iTunes, follow us on Twitter (and follow Jessica and Anna too), like us on Facebook, buy our merch, and email us if you know anyplace to get good bagels in San Francisco :)

• Fracture:  photos printed on glass. Tell them we sent you using this link and selecting "Unconsoleable" to get 10% off your first order.

• WWDC
• Yeti Pie (iOS only)
• Auto Adjust
• Normalize
• Joe's previous episodes
• Ableism
• Dan Graf
• Rodeo Stampede (iOS & Android)
• The podcast Joe does with Jessica
• Craig Federighi
• John Siracusa
• House of the Dead game
• Base Wars
• Pocket Gamer controller review
• LIMBO (iOS, Android & Steam)
• Shadow Bug (iOS only)
• SpriteKit
• SceneKit
• A Tiny Game of Pong (iOS only)
• Letterpress (iOS only)
• Nubs' Adventure (iOS & Android)
• Gose beer
• Poke
• Phil Schiller
• Cardboard
• Cicero from Spawn On Me

Jessica’s game drought continues unabated, but not for the reasons you might expect! Anna is enamored with some new games however while others have been… DELETED (gulp).

Is everything lost for UK mobile game developers in the wake of #Brexit and does it even matter? Are games like Clash of Clans the future of gaming? Does mobile need more premium games? Should Steve Lubitz start a Hearthstone newsletter? (answer: YES) All these questions and more will be answered!

Please rate and review us on iTunes, follow us on Twitter (and follow Jessica and Annatoo), like us on Facebook, buy our merch, and email us if you too want more premium chickens ;-)

Stuff we mentioned:

• Our Aussie fan base is strong
• Fallen London (iOS & in the browser)
• Neko Atsume (iOS & Android)
• Give It Up 2 (iOS & Android)
• King Rabbit (iOS only)
• Freehold Raceway Mall in New Jersey
• Nintendo Vans
• Doomsday Clicker (iOS & Android)
• Ben from Mighty Games
• Train Conductor World (iOS only for now)
• Rodeo Stampede (iOS & Android)
• Skiing Yeti Mountain (iOS & Android)
• Splashy Cats (iOS & Android)
• Squaredance (iOS & Android)
• “The Pancake Guy”
• Desert Golfing (iOS & Android)
• Viridi (iOS & Android)
• UK devs react to Brexit
• More details on Game Center going away
• Are games like Clash of Clans the future of games?
• Square Enix CEO says mobile needs more premium games
• Zombie Match Defense (iOS only)
• A tale of woe about slot machine games
• Two Dots (iOS & Android)
• Our episode w/Steve & Maureen
• Steve's #Hearthzone

The great game drought of 2016 has hit Jessica as she played not a single new game this week, turning up her nose at everything new. Anna forced herself to try a few new games and actually liked one of them. Hooray!

Meanwhile, there’s lots of news out of WWDC to dig into, a listener question to answer, and are messaging app games the future or a scourge to avoid? We discuss all this and more!

Please rate and review us on iTunes, follow us on Twitter (and follow Jessica and Anna too), like us on Facebook, buy our merch, and email us if you’d like to volunteer to be our spy at WWDC 2017 ;-)

Stuff we mentioned:

• King Rabbit (iOS only)
• Little Inferno (iOS, Android & Steam)
• Fallen London (iOS & in the browser)
• Touch Arcade
• Our friend Joe
• Swift Playground
• Egg (iOS & Android)
• Nix Hydra
• Egg Baby (iOS & Android)
• Blocko. (iOS only)
• Puzzlepops! (iOS only)
• VOI (iOS only)
• Botanicula (iPad only)
• Drawn to Kill (iPad only)
• Our friend Brian
• Revolution 60
• The Wolf Among Us (iOS, Android & Steam)
• GaymerX
• Lumino City (iOS & Steam)
• Love You To Bits (iOS only)
• Our Apple TV episode w/Joe
• Apple TV developers can now require controllers
• Game Center removed in iOS 10
• INKS (iOS only)
• Lara Croft GO (iOS & Android)
• Chameleon Run (iOS & Android)
• LINE headed for IPO
• FB Messenger games

We have the best listeners in the world! Case in point, one of them recommended the most adorable and fun game to us, and it involves setting things on fire! Nothing could be more perfect, especially for Jessica’s appetite for destruction. It’s not a new game, but it’s new to us and might be to you too.

The rest of you lot, if you’ve never recommended a game to us, get off your lazy asses! ;-)

When not setting things on fire, we spent time this week wondering what both China’s new stance towards mobile games and the changes coming to the App Store will mean for developers. Is the sky falling or is everything going to be ok? Listen now to find out!

Please rate and review us on iTunes, follow us on Twitter (and follow Jessica and Anna too), like us on Facebook, buy our merch, and email us if you have some stuff for us to burn ;-)

Stuff we mentioned:

• Little Inferno (iOS, Android & Steam)
• Human Resource Machine (iOS & Steam)
• Fallen London (iOS & in the browser)
• Looty Dungeon (iOS only)
• Sailor Moon Drops (iOS & Android)
• Pinchworm (iOS only)
• Pinchworm clone (iOS only)
• Hatoful Boyfriend (iOS only)
• Manowar (iOS only)
• The Guides (iOS & Android)
• Deux Ex GO teaser
• Bertram Fiddle Episode 2 trailer
• China regulating mobile games more heavily
• China curbing investment in games
• App Store changes are coming
• Drawn to Kill (iPad only)

In you go, kid. Sorry.

Jessica has fallen hard for Fallen London while Anna struggles to like a game that everyone else seems to love. And that’s only the beginning!

Never Alone comes to mobile, a game that kinda makes you code might not be for actual programmers, some gamers are terrible, Miitomo isn’t doing so hot, and… well, just listen to the episode dammit!

And yes, we’re still playing Candy Crush. FORGIVE US!

Please rate and review us on iTunes, follow us on Twitter (and follow Jessica and Annatoo), like us on Facebook, buy our merch, and email us if you know of an available volcano we can use ;-)

Stuff we mentioned:

•  Fallen London (iOS only)
• Til Morning's Light (iOS only)
• Looty Dungeon (iOS only)
• Candy Crush Soda Saga (iOS & Android)
• Never Alone (iOS only)
• King Rabbit (iOS only)
• Human Resource Machine (iOS only)
• Botanicula (iPad & Android)
• Amanita Design
• Simogo
• Pinchworm (iOS only)
• #Annareviews tweets
• Puzzlepops (iOS only)
• Steppy Pants (iOS only)
• Hatoful Boyfriend (iOS & Steam)
• Warp Shift (iOS only)
• Miitomo is apparently a bust
• Smaller devs can innovate with multiplayer
• Why the "git gud" attitude is so harmful
• Tanya DePass
• New emoji are coming

This episode was sponsored by Drobo, a family of safe, expandable, and simple-to-use storage arrays. Visit them now to learn more and be sure to use the discount code UN100 to save $100 on your purchase of a Drobo Mini, Drobo 5D, Drobo 5N, or any 8-drive or 12-drive Drobo in the Drobo Store.

On this episode we’re psyched to welcome special guest Enric Jorda, one of the creators of Love You to Bits, which we both adore! We’re sure you’ll love it too, so go play it immediately, if not sooner. Adorable, lovingly made adventure games on mobile are a rare breed, so they need our support!

Enric tells us about his backstory in game development, how Love You to Bits was conceived, and much more. So get in your spaceship and blast off on an adventure with us!

Please rate and review us on iTunes, follow us on Twitter (and follow Jessica and Anna too), like us on Facebook, buy our merch, and email us if you’ll volunteer to gather up all our parts on an epic space journey if need be :-)

Stuff we mentioned:

• Tiny Thief on Steam
• 5 Ants
• Chuzzle
• Popcap
• Ron Gilbert
• Alike Studio
• Bertram Fiddle (iOS & Steam)
• Rovio
• Drawn to Kill (iPad only)
• Valiant Hearts (iOS, Android & Steam)
• People were upset about paying for the Monument Valley expansion
• Helpful Love You to Bits walkthrough