Unlearned

Unlearned

By Jaime Mahler and CA RhoadesHealth & FitnessMental Health
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Unlearned episodes

  • Ep. 33: We Hate Gratitude

    Gratitude seems simple, but what about when societal expectations make us feel like we are forced to bypass our feelings to show it? CA and Jaime discuss how gratitude can be used as a weapon, how societal pressures of showing it affects those who are neurodivergent, the importance of authentic gratitude, and more.


    Notes:

    • The origins of gratitude
      • How the way we are taught gratitude affects how we see it as adults
      • Gratitude and guilt
      • Social constructs and neurodiversity
      • Why bypassing your feelings to show gratitude can be dangerous
      • Gratitude and gaslighting
      • What does genuine gratitude look and feel like
      • Weaponized gratitude

        • Links:

        • Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
        • Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
        • Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
        • CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
        • CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
        • Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
        • Email us topics/suggestions: [email protected]
          • 1 hr 9 min
        • Ep. 32: Religious Trauma: Part 6 - A Conversation with Rev Karla

          Jaime and CA close their series on Religious Trauma by speaking with Rev Karla, an ordained, interfaith, interspiritual minister who helps people who are deconstructing from Christianity to reclaim their spirituality so they can live with authenticity free from the dogma of their religious heritage, about the difficulty of separating from the fear-based, strongly patriarchal, indoctrination of modern day of Christianity.

          *This episode and the series on religious trauma as a whole may be especially triggering to certain listeners.* 

          Rev Karla’s website: https://www.revkarla.com/

          Recommended Reading: 

          • Zealot by Reza Aslan How Jesus Became God by Bart Ehrman Resurrecting Jesus by Adyashanti 

          • Why Christianity Must Change or Die by John Shelby Spong What is the Bible? by Rob Bell 

            • Previous Episodes in the Series 


            • Part 1: Ep. 27: Religious Trauma: Part 1 ⁠

            • ⁠Part 2: Ep. 28: Religious Trauma: Part 2 “The Sin of Thinking”⁠

            • ⁠Part 3: Ep. 29: Religious Trauma: Part 3 - The “Hell” Narrative ⁠

            • ⁠Part 4: Ep. 30: Religious Trauma: Part 4 - Is Pleasure Evil? ⁠

            • ⁠Part 5: Ep. 31: Religious Trauma: Part 5 - Skills

              • Notes: 

              • Introducing Rev Karla 

              • Rejecting the fear-based, strongly patriarchal, indoctrination of religion 

              • Why the language used in the Bible is inaccurate to how we’ve evolved as humans 

              • How going to the seminary opened Karla’s eyes 

              • Books that helped Karla open her mind to the reality of modern Christianity 

              • How do we start to break away from religious indoctrination? 

              • Why some religions fear holistic teachings 

              • How to respond to “the church didn’t hurt you - an individual did” 

              • How to take responsibility as a Christian 

              • Grieving the loss of your faith 

              • A message of hope for those struggling with their faith 

                • Links: 

                • BEYOND THE WOUND -RELIGIOUS TRAUMA CONFERENCE : https://www.beyondthewound.com

                • Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/

                • Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/

                • Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself

                • CA’s Instagram: https://innstagram.com/embracingdivergence/

                • CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence

                • Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned

                • Email us topics/suggestions: [email protected]

                  • 1 hr 22 min
                • Ep. 31: Religious Trauma: Part 5 - Skills

                  CA and Jaime continue their series on Religious Trauma by discussing the skills needed to start deconstruction by exploring their individual paths to freedom.

                  *This episode and the series on religious trauma as a whole may be especially triggering to certain listeners.*

                  • Part 1: Ep. 27: Religious Trauma: Part 1 ⁠

                  • ⁠Part 2: Ep. 28: Religious Trauma: Part 2 “The Sin of Thinking”⁠

                  • ⁠Part 3: Ep. 29: Religious Trauma: Part 3 - The “Hell” Narrative ⁠

                  • ⁠Part 4: Ep. 30: Religious Trauma: Part 4 - Is Pleasure Evil? ⁠

                  • ⁠Part 5: Ep. 31: Religious Trauma: Part 5 - Skills

                    • Notes:

                    • Where does deconstruction begin?
                    • Why widening your social network is so important
                    • How to create space for your mind
                    • CA and Jaimie discuss their personal journeys
                    • Why curiosity is so important
                    • Vertical versus horizontal morality


                      • Links:
                      • BEYOND THE WOUND -RELIGIOUS TRAUMA CONFERENCE : https://www.beyondthewound.com
                      • Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
                      • Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
                      • Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
                      • CA’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
                      • CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
                      • Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
                      • Email us topics/suggestions: [email protected]


                        • 1 hr 9 min
                      • Ep. 30: Religious Trauma: Part 4 - Is Pleasure Evil?

                        Why is Trunk-or-Treating ok while Trick-or-Treating is bad? What’s the difference between yoga and mindful movement? Jaime and CA continue their series on religious trauma by diving into the cross-section of joy, pleasure, and religion by asking why some things are ok while some things are not.

                        *This episode and the series on religious trauma as a whole may be especially triggering to certain listeners.*

                        Previous Episodes in the Series 

                        • Part 1: Ep. 27: Religious Trauma: Part 1 ⁠

                        • ⁠Part 2: Ep. 28: Religious Trauma: Part 2 “The Sin of Thinking”⁠

                        • ⁠Part 3: Ep. 29: Religious Trauma: Part 3 - The “Hell” Narrative ⁠

                        • ⁠Part 4: Ep. 30: Religious Trauma: Part 4 - Is Pleasure Evil? ⁠

                        • ⁠Part 5: Ep. 31: Religious Trauma: Part 5 - Skills


                          • Notes:

                          • The reason why religion teaches people to be leery of joy and pleasure
                          • How faith makes you believe that joy and pleasure are evil
                          • Questioning what makes you feel happy
                            • How religion closes off the conversation about non-religious things

                              • Links:

                              • BEYOND THE WOUND -RELIGIOUS TRAUMA CONFERENCE : https://www.beyondthewound.com
                                • Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
                                • Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
                                • Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
                                • CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
                                • CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
                                • Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club: https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
                                • Email us topics/suggestions: [email protected]
                                  • 55 min
                                • Ep. 29: Religious Trauma: Part 3 - The “Hell” Narrative
                                  CA and Jaime continue their series on religious trauma by digging into how the black-and-white “Hell Narrative” can be incredibly dangerous to our relationships and psyche.
                                  *This episode and the series on religious trauma as a whole may be especially triggering to certain listeners.*
                                  Part 1: Ep. 27: Religious Trauma: Part 1
                                  Part 2: Ep. 28: Religious Trauma: Part 2 “The Sin of Thinking”
                                  Notes:
                                  The moment you realize that you need to start having conversations about religion
                                  The problem with the “if you’re not with us you’re against us” belief system
                                  Getting censored for wanting to have authentic discussions about your faith
                                  How religion can cause you to be your own bully
                                  Links:
                                  BEYOND THE WOUND -RELIGIOUS TRAUMA CONFERENCE : https://www.beyondthewound.com
                                  Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
                                  Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
                                  Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
                                  CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
                                  CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
                                  Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
                                  Email us topics/suggestions: [email protected]
                                  53 min
                                • Ep. 28: Religious Trauma: Part 2 “The Sin of Thinking”
                                  Jaime and CA continue their series on religious trauma by exploring how religion’s attempts to control our thoughts and emotions affect us both now and in the future.
                                  *This episode and the series on religious trauma as a whole may be especially triggering to certain listeners.*
                                  Part 1: Ep. 27: Religious Trauma: Part 1
                                  Notes:
                                  Recapping part 1
                                  How repressing “sinful” thoughts and emotions damages you
                                  What is spiritual bypassing and how is it harmful?
                                  What about exploratory thoughts?
                                  Links:
                                  BEYOND THE WOUND -RELIGIOUS TRAUMA CONFERENCE : https://www.beyondthewound.com
                                  Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
                                  Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
                                  Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
                                  CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
                                  CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
                                  Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
                                  Email us topics/suggestions: [email protected]
                                  55 min
                                • Ep. 27: Religious Trauma: Part 1
                                  CA and Jaime introduce us to a series of episodes based on religious trauma. In this episode, they define religious trauma and explore where it comes from and how it happens.
                                  *This episode and the series on religious trauma as a whole may be especially triggering to certain listeners.*
                                  Notes:
                                  Defining trauma
                                  Defining complex trauma
                                  Defining religious trauma
                                  Why religious trauma is so harmful
                                  Why religious indoctrination at such a young age can damage your sense of self
                                  Understanding righteous anger
                                  How religious indoctrination starts
                                  How religion moves from love to fear and how that can affect us
                                  Links:
                                  BEYOND THE WOUND -RELIGIOUS TRAUMA CONFERENCE : https://www.beyondthewound.com
                                  Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
                                  Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
                                  Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
                                  CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
                                  CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
                                  Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
                                  Email us topics/suggestions: [email protected]
                                  1 hr 16 min
                                • Ep. 26: Relationships Are Earned Not Owed

                                  Some relationships stay on the surface level and that’s ok, but sometimes we want to experience deeper intimacy with specific people. Jaime and CA explore what happens when we seek out more authentic relationships, what to expect, how to handle the emotional changes, and more.

                                  Notes:

                                  • Seeking out deeper and more authentic relationships
                                  • What happens when we seek deeper relationships with people who aren’t ready
                                  • Why roles don’t automatically define the deepness of a relationship
                                  • How to authentically participate in a relationship by changing your expectations
                                  • Understanding where tension comes from and how to navigate it
                                  • What you may face when you decide to show up authentically

                                    • Links:

                                    • Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
                                    • Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
                                    • Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
                                    • CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
                                    • CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
                                    • Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
                                    • Email us topics/suggestions: [email protected]
                                      • 1 hr 17 min
                                    • Ep. 25: When You Are Ready And They Aren’t
                                      Truth is not always black and white and as we grow and learn (or unlearn) our definition of it changes. At some point, we may be ready to step and tell our truth, but what happens if the people we are speaking to aren’t ready or willing to hear it? Join CA and Jaime as they discuss the challenge of not only living our authentic lives but sharing that authenticity with others.
                                      Notes:
                                      Why living authentically is important
                                      Being ready to talk when others aren’t ready to listen
                                      The challenge of speaking your truth to people who may not be ready to hear it
                                      How self-preservation affects telling your truth
                                      The reality of truth
                                      Allowing people to evolve without trying to own their identity
                                      Links:
                                      Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
                                      Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
                                      Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
                                      CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
                                      CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
                                      Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
                                      Email us topics/suggestions: [email protected]
                                      1 hr 2 min
                                    • Ep. 24 When Love=Control
                                      Control can take many forms in relationships. One of those is by putting up boundaries and saying, “no” as an attempt to control, often without even realizing it. In this episode, Jaime and CA explore the role of control in relationships, where it comes from, and what we can to do break the cycle.
                                      Notes:
                                      Where do we learn to love?
                                      How love can be controlling
                                      How do we approach shifting dynamics in a relationship?
                                      How shifting dynamics provide opportunities for growth
                                      The importance of asking ourselves why we say “no”
                                      The importance of knowing your asks
                                      What to do when your partner refuses to stop controlling you?
                                      Links:
                                      Follow the podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theunlearnedpodcast/
                                      Jaime’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recollectedself/
                                      Jaime’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@recollectedself
                                      CA’s Instagram: https://www.secure.instagram.com/embracingdivergence/
                                      CA’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@embracingdivergence
                                      Support the podcast by joining our Coffee Fiend club:https://www.patreon.com/unlearned
                                      Email us topics/suggestions: [email protected]
                                      51 min

                                    About Unlearned

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                                    This is a podcast all about deconstructing who we are and exploring who we are becoming.

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