Unmaking Me with Melanie Welch MD

Have you thought about all your core needs, those ones that need to be met for you to be satisfied with your life? I recently heard Amanda Doyle say, on the We Can do Hard Things podcast, that "Life is about activating all the parts of us." This statement struck and inspired me to reflect on what all the parts of me are.

In this episode I discuss what all the core needs that I identify as the parts of me that I need to activate to stay well and happy.

I would love to hear from you about your thoughts and experiences. You can connect with me by email at [email protected], on Instagram @melaniewelchmd, or Tik Tok @drmeliswell.  I also have a really special request for you. I want to give you the best possible information, on topics that are most important to you. On my website melaniewelch.ca there is a link to a very short 3 question survey which will help me so my best for your.  If you complete the survey you will be entered in a draw for a Starbucks gift card! Thanks so much!

Resources for this episode:

https://www.edu.gov.mb.ca/k12/cur/cardev/gr11_found/blms/blm14.pdf

https://www.thoughtco.com/maslows-hierarchy-of-needs-4582571

Have you ever been in a room, place, or organization where you felt like you didn't belong? I feel like this a lot of the time, so today's episode is a look at the phenomenon of imposter syndrome and whether it really addresses our experiences.

I would love to hear from you about your thoughts and experiences. You can connect with me by email at [email protected], on Instagram @melaniewelchmd, or Tik Tok @drmeliswell.  I also have a really special request for you. I want to give you the best possible information, on topics that are most important to you. On my website melaniewelch.ca there is a link to a very short 3 question survey which will help me so my best for your.  If you complete the survey you will be entered in a draw for a Starbucks gift card! Thanks so much!

Resources for this episode:

https://hbr.org/2021/02/stop-telling-women-they-have-imposter-syndrome

https://www.inthelibrarywiththeleadpipe.org/2020/its-not-imposter-syndrome/

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2023/02/13/the-dubious-rise-of-impostor-syndrome

Don't forget to follow the podcast wherever you listen, and connect with me at my website melaniewelch.ca, or on Instagram @melaniewelchmd. On my website I have a link to a very brief survey about your needs, click on "3 quick questions. " I will enter your name in a draw for a Starbucks gift card for completing the survey.

Thanks so much for listening.

Key takeaways from this episode:

1. How can you foster a more generalist approach to your life? How can you leverage your different interests and skillsets?

2. Traumatic experiences in childhood increase the risk of many mental health and physical conditions. Trauma can be healed.

3. We can't provide care for others if we aren't well ourselves.

4. There's a balance between true connection with others and maintaining our own psychological safety.

5. Trauma is much more prevalent than we have known, and the events and circumstances that cause trauma are unique to each individual.

6. For us to show up the way we want, the first step is balancing our own nervous system.

7. Attunement matters to our relationships and we can't be attuned until we are regulated ourselves in our own ventral vagal system.

8. As caregivers, it is key for us to recognize and acknowledge our own traumas and to do the work of healing.

9. The three stages of trauma therapy include:

1. Safety and grounding. Noticing our own nervous system. 2. Shifting away from stress responses and 3. Resourcing.

The programs that are set up to help us manage our wellness are often not taking us past the first stage.

10. Being trauma informed starts with building our own toolkit around remodeling and rewiring our nervous system.

11. The opposite of trauma is not being happy all the time. The opposite of trauma is having a flexible menu of human experiences available to us, and more options for paths forward.

How can you make your money work for you? I have a new perspective on this topic, and I have realized that money is a tool to help us live the life we really want. In this episode, which is the third of a 3 part series about money, we talk about the ways that we can build wealth and use that to focus on goals that reflect our own values. I share my own story of learning to manage my money. You can connect with me by email at [email protected], on Instagram @melaniewelchmd, or Tik Tok @drmeliswell.  I also have a really special request for you. I want to give you the best possible information, on topics that are most important to you. On my website melaniewelch.ca there is a link to a very short 3 question survey which will help me so my best for your.  If you complete the survey you will be entered in a draw for a Starbucks gift card! Thanks so much!

Resources for this episode:

https://gighustlers.com/do-side-hustles-really-work-8-facts-and-statistics/

https://www.fool.com/the-ascent/research/side-hustles/

https://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/976130

https://www.ruleoneinvesting.com/

https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/how-to-live-a-rich-life/#what-is-a-rich-life

Do you hate to talk about money? Or maybe you believe that how much money you have determines your sense of self worth. I have recently realized that I hold some beliefs about money that are holding me back.  In this episode, which is the second of a 3 part series about money, we talk about how to use evidence-based tools to start to change our beliefs about money.  You can connect with me by email at [email protected], on Instagram @melaniewelchmd, or Tik Tok @drmeliswell.  I also have a really special request for you. I want to give you the best possible information, on topics that are most important to you. On my website melaniewelch.ca there is a link to a very short 3 question survey which will help me so my best for your.  If you complete the survey you will be entered in a draw for a Starbucks gift card! Thanks so much!

Resources for this week's episode:

https://positivepsychology.com/core-beliefs-worksheets/#identify

https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/exposure-hierarchy

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/265907830_How_Clients'_Money_Scripts_Predict_Their_Financial_Behaviors

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/232574114_The_Treatment_of_Disordered_Money_Behaviors_Results_of_an_Open_Clinical_Trial

Do you hate to talk about money? Or maybe you believe that how much money you have determines your sense of self worth. I have recently realized that I hold some beliefs about money that are holding me back. 

In this episode, which is the first of a 3 part series about money,  I share my own story about learning about my own core beliefs about money, and how this links to the evidence on the common money beliefs in our society. 

Let me know what your money beliefs are. You can connect with me by email at [email protected], on Instagram @melaniewelchmd, or Tik Tok @drmeliswell. 

I also have a really special request for you. I want to give you the best possible information, on topics that are most important to you. On my website melaniewelch.ca there is a link to a very short 3 question survey which will help me so my best for your.  If you complete the survey you will be entered in a draw for a Starbucks gift card! Thanks so much!

Resources for this week's episode:

https://www.bradklontz.com/moneyscriptstest

https://www.bradklontz.com/research

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/265907830_How_Clients'_Money_Scripts_Predict_Their_Financial_Behaviors

https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/podcast/

https://www.morganhousel.com/

March 11 is Canadian Women Physicians Day! This episode is dedicated to my colleagues who are holding at all together, caring for patients in a crumbling system,  managing complex family lives, and trying to care for themselves somehow along the way. 

Today we're talking about work-life balance. Is it a thing? Does anyone actually have it? How do move toward finding some harmony between all of or roles? 

I would love to connect with you further. I would so appreciate it of you would go to https://melaniewelch.ca/ where I have a brief 3 Question Survey so I can give you what you most want and need. You can win a gift card for providing your feedback!

I'm also on Instagram @melaniewelchmd and I would love to connect with you there, or you can email me at [email protected]. 

Strategies to move toward work-life harmony:

1. Identify the activities that give you a sense of purpose and meaning

2. Build a calendar that reflects the activities that give you energy as a priority, including short and long term goals and dreams. Use the calendar as a tool to say "no" to requests that aren't in line with your priorities.

3. Manage the emotions that will arise from setting priorities. It is normal to feel guilt, but it doesn't mean you should backtrack.

4. Find another way to manage low priority tasks. 

5. Advocate for changes that reflect your needs, ie flexibility with scheduling. Set boundaries when something doesn't work for you. 

6. Reassess regularly. Schedule in times to reassess, recognizing that your priorities will change. 

Resources from this episode:

https://community.thriveglobal.com/the-challenge-of-creating-a-good-work-life-balance/

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/349144745_CHALLENGES_ASSOCIATED_WITH_WORK-_LIFE_BALANCE_A_META-ANALYSIS

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/318087#Is-work-life-balance-just-hype?

https://www.ima.org.il/FilesUploadPublic/IMAJ/0/197/98672.pdf

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6139766/

https://www.medicaleconomics.com/view/7-ways-to-find-more-work-life-balance-as-a-physician

https://hbr.org/2022/01/why-so-many-women-physicians-are-quitting

https://www.cmaj.ca/content/192/35/E1011

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4079063/

Are you on the verge of burnout? I have experienced burnout several times in my career and I have identified some pillars of my own recovery. As I discuss in this episode, the pillars complement each other. The four pillars are: 1. Rest 2. Self-compassion 3. Boundaries 4. Meaning. If you are experiencing burnout, you are not alone, and it can get better. Like Starbucks? I am collecting feedback on the topics most interesting and helpful to you. Go to melaniewelch.ca to answer a few quick questions and enter to win a Starbucks gift card. Connect with me on Instagram @melaniewelchmd and TikTok @drmeliswell. Resources for this episode:https://bootcamp.berkeley.edu/blog/mental-health-resources-to-help-prevent-creative-and-professional-burnout/

https://www.burnoutbook.net/

https://boundarybossbook.com/

Are you a person who feels more comfortable when you are in control? In this episode I discuss why this might be, what the consequences are, and how you can start to change. I would love to hear your story. Connect with me on Instagram @melaniewelchmd or TikTok @drmeliswell. I look forward to seeing you back next week.

 Resources:

The Relationship Between Uncertainty and Affect https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02504/full

Is the Pain Worth the Gain? The Advantages and Liabilities of Agreeing With Socially Distinct Newcomers https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167208328062

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_losing_control_make_you_happier

Desirability of Control Scale https://www.scu.edu › psychology › documents

Mindsets That Promote Resilience: When Students Believe That Personal Characteristics Can Be Developedhttps://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00461520.2012.722805

Quantity versus uncertainty: When winning one prize is better than winning two. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2007-15123-015

Today's takeaways:

1. Learn to appreciate uncertainty

2.Identify situations that trigger your desire for control

3.Reflect on whether you truly have control, and if taking action is the right use of your energy.

4.Reflect on your behavior in situations where you want to take control. Is it better to ask for more perspectives?

5.Gather support

6.Practice surrendering. 

7.Focus on what you can control, often it is the process and not the outcome.

Have you ever considered a career pivot or change? Dr. Beth is here for this inspiring conversation where she shares her story of transitioning from a grueling job in Pharmacy to a job she loves in Tech. Remarkably, this job transition had a huge ripple effect on Dr. Beth's entire life. 

Connect with Dr. Beth on her website MedtoTechPivot.com, on TikTok @mtpivot, and on LinkedIn and Instagram @medtotechpivot. Connect with me on TikTok at @drmeliswell, and on Instagram @melaniewelchmd. 

Today's takeaways:

1. Can you think outside the box about your career? Have you considered other possibilities? 

2. You can make deliberate decisions on how to craft the life and career you want.

3. Advocate for yourself, help others understand your value. 

4. The skills that you have are transferable into other worlds. 

5. You can have big impacts on people in new and different ways. 

6. Make your own purpose. 

7. Find fulfillment and happiness outside of your work. You can't do this if your work is taking everything from you. 

8. Try to put structures in place that force you to turn work off at a particular time. Plan an activity, a date, a call with a friend, doing something you love. 

9. The more you reinforce your boundaries, the easier it gets, it becomes a self-fulfilling cycle.  

10. Find something outside of work that brings you joy and is a priority. 

11. For the sake of the quality of your work, turn it off when it's time.

12. Be open and seeking new opportunities. Networking is not what you think it is. Step outside of your day-to-day bubble.