Unprocessed

In this episode, my husband joins me to discuss how we fought in the past and how we fight differently now.

This is one of the best episodes yet--I use my lens as a couples therapist to get real about how we remain disconnected, when we really want to be close, and what I had to do to get the intimacy that I so craved. Hint: It had a lot to do with how I was showing up, even though I wanted to blame him. 

Esther Perel says in every relationship, there's someone who is more afraid of losing themselves and someone who is more afraid of losing the relationship.

In this episode, I share about how I went from being the person afraid of being alone to the person who is more afraid of not being myself.

I explore the fear of being alone and why we busy ourselves to avoid it, along with how we sneakily avoid our pain points by placing them in our parents and friends.

I offer up a way to come back home to yourself.

There I said it,

Sometimes choosing health is the boring thing to do. My biggest fear was settling and not living the biggest juiciest life. And yet, what if our biggest fear is what we need?

Listen in as I talk about data on choice, why we shouldn’t strive to not be triggered, and differentiate between complacency and contentment.

Many times we tell ourselves we are "torn," to avoid having to sit with the fear of making the decision we know we need to make.

I share about a difficult choice point in my life, how I went toward my fear, and explore we want to know WHY before we take the leap.

I also share a song that helped me lean into the sorrow, without the why, and share some of that sorrow with all of you. 

Disclaimer:

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional mental health treatment, diagnosis, or therapy. Listening to this podcast does not establish a therapist-client relationship.

The views and opinions expressed are based on my lived personal and professional experience but are general in nature. Individual situations vary, and listeners are encouraged to seek appropriate professional support for their specific needs.

By listening to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are responsible for your own mental health decisions and actions. I am not responsible for any outcomes resulting from the use or misuse of information discussed on this podcast.

The content of this podcast should not be relied upon as personalized mental health advice, crisis support, or a treatment plan. If you are experiencing distress or a mental health emergency, please contact a licensed mental health professional, local emergency services, or a crisis hotline in your area.

We choose what's familiar, not what is best for us.

We enact dynamics that remind us of childhood and the emotions that we felt the most, not the ones we want to feel.

Listen is as I talk about my compulsivity toward drama and high intensity experiences and what data is saying about the relationship between the increase in anxiety and the decrease in the willingness to fuck up.

Why do women, including myself in the past, hate their bellies no matter the size?

As a therapist of nearly a decade, I have noticed it's the number 1 body part women wish was different. This episode is about what ancient wisdom and feminist psychotherapy says about the belly and what is so scary about "trusting our guts."

I share about my journey toward being tender to this space in a culture that has told me to hate it

(if I rage against myself then I will not rage against the system that makes me dislike myself).

I wanted to be seen, but I didn't want people to know about the wanting.

What is it about revealing effort and desperation that feels so wrong?

Come join me as I explore the underpinnings of human desperation, the desire to be seen, and how we play peekaboo as adults--showing the parts of ourselves that actually conceal the parts that we wish others would see. 

I didn't prioritize baking the pie. I don't have space for friendship.

I can't mother you, but I really wish I could.

Are all the radical truths I have been telling as I attempt to align what I am thinking, with what I am feeling, saying and doing. Listen in to learn how I shifted my goal from being liked to being respected, why it's so hard to be truthful, and a new way of looking at boundaries: an invitation and a meeting place. 

This episode is about admitting the hard truths to ourselves (and perhaps others) that we are inclined to hide.

It's about shame and to unburden it. You will hear me share something about something I wanted to do as a parent that I feel afraid to tell you, and then how I sit with it, to free myself and my daughter from it's weight.

This is about looking at the monster under the bed.

In this episode, I explore my mixed feelings about the statement "relationships are hard,"

In that this message is often served to people who are already doing more than their share in relationships, and it justifies their labor.

What's the line between experiencing challenges and feeling like you're constantly on an uphill climb? 

I talk about what I do in relationships

(that I hear many of my clients do, too)

that have made my romantic relationships hard, and where this comes from for me.