Video Death Loop

What is the best part of waking up? Is it actually successfully waking up, realizing you escaped the clutches of death for at least one more night? Is it the toast from the toaster and/or toaster oven and/or oven wafting through the house? Is it the coffee jingle? Maybe. We are forgetful in our modern age and no longer thank life for the gifts it has given us. We have turned our back from even Rockapella, who have blessed us with a doo wop song based on our favorite franchises. They wait for us at our favorite morning spots, waiting. But we do not come to these locations. We skip the convenience and go right onto the drudge of morning standup meeting, making small talk about The Game with a co-worker who you suspect has not seen The Game for several years. It’s okay, you haven’t too. You just need something to talk about. There’s no fun anymore. Especially if Rockapella is around. They saw to that. You saw to that. We saw to that. Welcome to the human race.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s not allowed to do a bit! Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he doesn’t want to be surprised (Even with a bit!)

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Sing it with me, everyone! Salad Shooooooter! Sing it from the top of your lungs into our ears, preferably while you’re making a salad with the toppings of a sald! Get a corded one! Get a cordless one while you’re at it! Use them all Salad Akimbo! Make your co-workers worry at the next potluck from all these casserole style dishes! Forget about it with the rest of your pandemic hobbies! Let it fester in your drawern for 20 years! Suddenly remember it is there! Worry about the lithium ion battery in the cordless one! Now your house is on fire! There’s a lot of key points missing between those last two sentences! Maybe you should have checked the Security Sticker!

Slice or Shred this podcast with a side of non-Romaine lettuce. Enjoy for up to two (2) ears.

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Cellular DNA. Mobile Phone RNA. Landline Mitochondria. It’s all connected, man. It’s all making energy with us because it is us. Until it isn’t. Then it decides to take us to a nice night to the opera and set us on fire. That seems a little petty, honestly. It could have talked it through with us and we work together become a hideous malformed evil, but I suppose cells will be cells and humans will be a big splotch of cells. At least let us influence Frozen first. We’ll call it Fire… zen. Firezen. Yes.

This is Parasite Eve, also. I think.

John Hurst is your host this week and he is on the forefront of making de-risked content. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he is listening all the way to the end of the episode to keep that audience

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SUBMIT TO THE DANCE. Enjoy it. Learn to live with it. Enjoy the 24 hour support, 365 days of the week. Ignore the fact that they’re genetically engineered for maximum advertising, these tiny mice. Ignore the cat in the corner that they use to make sure they do their job as efficiently as possible. Ignore the master technician mouse, designing computers we humans cannot even begin to comprehend. Do not ignore the cat. The cat is the most important part. This is Mouse Idol. Be ready.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s got a broom that can fix this problem. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s still looking for a Stuckey’s gas station.

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You knew it was only time before we put a death loop within video death loop. It’s recursion, baby! We’re with it and within it too! You can use that in your next Programming 101 class, professors. And skateboarders too if you’re really into recursion. Maybe other podcasters too. This is now a recursion podcast.

Anyway, instead of talking about the obvious one, have a sickass skateboard trick! You’ll thank us later when we all start trading in Rad Points!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s trying to help get his for a little known game studio that released a game this week. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he advises you not to touch the koalas.

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In the beginning, a single chocolate bar will rise. Or maybe it’s chocolate. Is it really? This is an ad for sexy white chocolate and they are really piling on how freeing this chocolate will make you damn feel. You’ll see a swing and maybe some bubbles and you won’t even notice because sexy times are quickly approaching at warp speed. There’s someone there ready to take your picture. You paid for the 3×5 package to send to everyone in your Christmas card. What they (and you) don’t know is how dangerously sexy things are about to get. Close up the studio, it’s time for the real photos to begin. Thank you, Nestle Alpine White Chocolate w/ Almonds. This one goes out to you.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s feeling fighty but only 1:30 AM Waffle House Fighty. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s wondering how Drake had all this time to do math also. Special thanks to Torzelbaum for the video suggestion!

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Welcome to the show! We got it all! We got circuses that have turned psycho from animation! We got cool ass skeletons! We got these older guys in makeup! We got a green screen and Silicon Graphics workstation! We don’t need anything else for ROCKING. Well, maybe a Gibson sponsorship. And a clown. Maybe two clown– No, only one. We can’t have any more. MTV may not play it if we go over the maximum number of clown. Okay, now, let’s ROCK OUT. In a limited window because we can only afford so much green screen? We’re KISS, and the first S stands for “Savings”. The second “S”? … Also, Savings. Look, Gene needs a new yacht.

John Hurst is your host this week and he is switching to Internet Beat Time! Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he is strongly considering repositioning the internet, globally.

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A secret from the templars! Tom Hank’s hair! Jesus! Maybe. I don’t know. I never watched it. There’s a code and Da Vinci has something to do with it. It was big in the 2000s, much like “art” and “media”. People running through the streets, either in pursuits in codes or running away from codes! This movie has it all! I guess. It also has Ron Howard, SON.

Come find a mystery with us! And talk about a Ron Jeremy movie too!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s walking in and out of shadows cryptically. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s off to create the greatest virus since “ILOVEYOU”.

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Turtle Pies! From Hostess! And the Ninja Turtles! In the 90s you could get away with any crime as long as you were associated wih a popular children’s brand. Put some vanilla pudding in a what looks to be a malformed pickle? Sure! Sounds tasty! Sell it to the kids! Heck, give them a free card and maybe they’ll buy more! The executives all high five each other while signing checks with the other hand, showing how ambidextrous they can be when it comes to money. They go home and make dinner for themselves and maybe their family too. In the corner, they might see a chef’s hat. “I don’t remember buying that”, one may say. They didn’t. The Chef’s Hat has chosen. And you do not want to dismiss its knowledge lightly.

The pies are probably okay tasty. We watch them on loop enough to where we are convinced of that, anyway.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s working of Big Chef on a conspiracy. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s not going to look directly at the black hole.

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The cats, oh how they shake! How they shake in the earthquake! Quiet they stand and let the ground move. They hold their sway for a few moments. They knew they brought this on the earth and knew they must be careful. If they swayyed any harder, the big cats with the phone cameras may fall over and that would be funny too, but that’s not according to the plan. They will sway when the swaying time is right. But first, they shall bathe in the sun in the middle of a street. Then the swaying!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is trying all the veggie sausages. John Hurst is your co-host this week and he’s trying to tell cats all about eyes.

Special thanks to listener muteKi for the video suggestion!

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