Video Death Loop

OH MY GOD THREE PERCENT LIQUIDITY. That sounds great! Whatever that means! JRR Token, the latest in cryptofashion, has all that and more for you. Will they explain what it means? Maybe? Maybe not. There’s a pie chart. They burned a part of it? And why does everything smell like pancakes? Maybe it’s all the pancakes. Maybe. Okay, I admit it’s probably all of the pancakes.

We get pretty weird pretty quick and we blame Ethan. Always blame Ethan.

John Hurst is your host this week and he is too busy incorporating companies that will turn against him. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s looking into the approximate damage that can be done with a Harbor Freight chainsaw.

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The Crazy Frog is only like 30% crazy, max. Sure, like he is unusual, but I wouldn’t say he is crazy. Maybe like speaks louder than normal at a restaurant crazy. Goes to the grocery store and buys at least four different flavors of pop tart crazy. Rents the wet vacuum from the same grocery store but keeps it for four days crazy. Posts on twitter about a wild day but was just sitting at home soldering cables together crazy. He’s not even that crazy at all and I think it’s time we reflect on that as a society. He parkours well though! I guess that’s all it takes!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he has a sound for this radio station that they’re going to hate. John Hurst is your co-host this week and he’s going to put that sound to a computer animated model and make no bang. The Record Company is going to buy both and make a tidy profit!

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Those chips need to escape. Into your hands, specifically. Into your mouth, where the delicious junk morsels must go. But heaven is denied and you have taken to greater measures. You back up. It’s personal now. It’s just you, a roomful of classmates with easy access to photographic evidence and a vending machine with a hatred for the living. You have trained for this moment. You got a green belt in taekwondo by the Dollar General for this moment. It’s time to put your feet to the glass sheet. In a few moments, the world will know your power, but for now they will only know your determination.

John Hurst is your host this week and he hopes that the chips traped aren’t Salt & Vinegar. Aaron Littleton is your co-host this week and can get like seven Surge cans easy.

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Hey, look! It’s the Doctor! The Doctor of Whositwhatsit! There were many of the Doctor and Sylvester McCoy may be your winking doctor! But overall, he is a distraction from the TRUTH. The truth your conspiracy discord and DVDs don’t even want you to know! The plan was hidden under our nose this entire time by the description of the Doctor’s regeneration. It was not merely a ploy to continue the show when one actor got tired. It was a way of being for one of the most powerful political figures in history? This is where we reel you in to listen find out who! Who?! WHO?!

Also, we watch the opening on loop.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and has a comeback campaign to plan. John Hurst is your co-host and he is working on the next incorporate podcast for incorporal beings.

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SCENE – EXT. NEW YORK SCENE

The Video Death Loop hosts (Aaron Littleton and John Hurst) are in a conundrum! John yet again bought a sandwich that is Too Large to fit the in refridgerator! Hijinks ensue. If they can’t fit it in the fridge, it’s going to get moldy and smell! And the landlord has got an extra-sensory nose recipticle that is state of the art and Definitely Not From a Robot ™ All the knives are dull and will not cut! Whatever will our heroes do? Quick, watch this video explaining a TikTok video that a robot definitely did not make. It contains 0% footage of the TikTok video, just like how there are definitely 0 robots in this room and/or city!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s got to hide this giant scorpion in his apartment fast. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s nodding approvingly(?) at a computer.

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The party is going well. The music is banging. The people are awesome. And you got some good movies playing in the background. The kind that are good to have in the background and you don’t have to pay attention to. But the movie is over and the punch bowl needs refilling. You can do replace both easy, but not at the same time. You can refill the punch bowl, but you risk the screensaver kicking in on your DVD player and then everyone might venture off onto the dusty trail for the evening, leaving you a mess to clean up before bed. Or you can change out the DVD and leave the punch unpunched for a little longer, which your parched and perhaps drunkenly parched friends may rib you a bit to fill it up. Noone wants a ribbing. That’s never good. You have a choice to made. You better hurry. The settings default to five minutes. Go.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he tried the blue (not Star Wars) milk! John Hurst is your co-host and and he’s got more followers than the blue milk makers so TAKE THAT.

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It is the Nineties and it’s time for Flipper! But not the Elijah Wood/Paul Hogan feature film. No, you’re getting the 1995 television remake for.. Channel? Was it a channel? Was is on TV? We don’t know, but there’s like four seasons, a Tim Allen lookalike, an actual Jessica Alba and one coke-addled dolphin who is living their best life inside one third story dolphin flat. This is their story. It might involve crimes!

It definitely involves crimes. A lot of crimes.

John Hurst is your host this week and he has a strong desire to become soup. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and and he’s real mad we didn’t do a particular pun until the very end!

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Come to Super Van City!!! It’s a Van! And a City! All in one!!!! But it’s tiny too. But the big sort of tiny? The kind of tiny that has a whole block to it, with a potential small (micro) kabab place with the good kababs and the one with the okay kababs too. And if you go to the okay one, it’s alright! It’s not going to ruin your day! You’re at SUPER VAN CITY, you hip micro machine you! A wizard probably runs it! You better hope it’s a wizard anyway. If it’s a sorcerer who runs your Super Van City, there may be some concerns to be had the micro-citizens. Council meeting at the Micro Race Track at 6!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he the absolute perfect Game Genie code for you at the end of this episode, so stick around. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s sneaking into record a podcast with very distinguishing straw hat.

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Don’t you wanta? I’m tempted to end the post there. There’s a few of us (Namely the two of us hosting this podcast you are looking at right now) who have an instant reaction to those words or the saccharine jingle that is somehow melody-less and catchy at the same time. The trend is to call us “Geriatric Millennials” And you’d be right, but haven’t we had enough? We have to sling so much irony and sarcasm at you all this time. I know it’s hard but someone it has to do it and it may as well be the generation that saw the music videos live on Music Television before it became a shirt you wore! This is all our generation is good at! It is our craft! We fine-tuned ‘our generational antikythera sarcasm mechanism at retail jobs, watching boring daytime television when our AOL ran out for the month and sharing our limited but discounted soda with our brethren while listening to juggalo mixtape CD-Rs on our 5-CD Car Changer. Leave us be! We’re the reason you’re listening to podcasts! Now, don’t you want a Fanta or not?!

John Hurst is your host this week and he is rolling up his 2000s-era LARP character. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s coming to the class with the finished workbook!

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Aliens! Do they exist? Who knows?! Maybe the government if they can stop shrugging their damn non-alien shoulders! What are we looking at? Bigfoot? The Moon? A crude-shaped future drone? We asked every member of Blink-182 their opinion and we realized we don’t personally know any of the members of that band so we’re stuck and out of options. Maybe the answer is… Up there. Bring a shovel.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s contemplating the structure of a specific drone. John Hurst is your co-host and is looking up new hip dot coms for the modern age!

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