Video Death Loop

It’s Topps day. Your co-worker is getting the latest uncut set of Topps Football 1989 Cards for the last season. Everyone is excited to find their team’s players name and look at the stats on the back of their known players on the team. Nothing else can be revealed, for if it is, you were dispatched on the spot and you will never be found. But you’re just happy to know how many Running Yards Barry Sanders got in his prime. But it wasn’t enough. You’re the loser. Your co-workers laugh. They all laugh. And you know the retribution is soon. The Football Czar hands your this 1-900 number. At 2 dollars a minute, you will cry. Oh how you will cry.

John Hurst hosts this week and he’s making sure you all follow the new Podcast Calendar rules. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and really feels for the people in this commercial.

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Barney! Would you get a load of this? I’m trying to invent a new form of food to help us wake up and start the day! You know how I invented day and night cycles, right? Yeah, Barnes, you know it! Well, I put a bunch of salt, rice and sugar together with a bunch of weird colors I found and made something called a cereal? It’s delicious! And it makes you want more! Anyway, after you finish “breakfast” (I invented that too the other day, Barnes) come on out to the backyard and I’ll show you my latest project: cigarettes. It’s great! You’re never gonna wanna stop!

Aaron Littleton hosts this festive episode of Video Death Loop and wants to go visit the really weird planets on Star Trek. John Hurst co-hosts and he’s about to sign up for a Vitamin Credit Card.

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Hey guys, it’s Uno! The game you play with people you barely know and only want to know slightly more about them by the end! Do they draw more cards? Can you make them skip their turn? Whatever! It’s Uno! Noone remembers who even won by the end! Yeah, we’ll have it done by next week! See ya!

… They gone? Good. Okay, now that we got the game greenlit, it’s time for to make our dream anime visual novel scenario happen. But it’s gotta have Uno involved just enough or they’re going to start raising questions. Work with me here, I got an idea. We need some horses.

A lot of horses.

John Hurst hosts this week and he’s renting of Volume 2 of an Anime VHS because they don’t have Volume 1.. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and he needs one of those old timey levers to make sure the box works.

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Enter into the dojo of one Chop Chop Master Onion. He’s an onion. Not a wild onion that you may find in your yard or that John cannot find for the life of him, but a real onion. The type you’d put on your pizza or a calzon and sell as a promotional pizza from a big pizza chain. He has it all. He’s got tiny onion disciples. He’s got a dog who wants to be a rapper and also wants to impress a flower he likes. He’s got immortality and a vengeful spirit. Everyone wants to be friends with Chop Chop Master Onion because the opposite may lead towards your untimely demise. Just ask the Deer on the wall. Oh, you can’t. This is the first level, but it also may be your last. Now, kick, Parappa! Kick as if your life depends on it!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s mixing up video game lore with real lore! John Hurst is your co-host and he’s opening the latest CafePress budget saving scheme for the 2020s.

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This trash just keeps piling up!! What’s a person with an open top convertible to do other than just throw it on the side of the road and give the middle finger to the climate as a whole? That’s just what this Tennessee Trash PSA does and it does it with the most battle damaged car this side of the psychobilly concert! Come see the ad that was played well into the late 80s on television sets all across Tennessee and see who it marks as the enemy (Spoiler: THE ENEMY IS YOU. )

John Hurst is your host and has upgraded the amount of chicken nuggets he orders. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he is looking to get rid of a mattress stat.

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Hey Ghosts! Are you a ghost? If you’re a ghost you have to say “Booooo!” At least that’s what this Applesauce container says. It’s really weird that I’m following what an applesauce container says, but that’s because it’s 4 PM and I’m waiting for the reruns of Knight Rider to  hit my TV Screen after school! Look at that guy! He’s cool! Look at his car! It jumps things! Look at this… Other guy? He’s…? And this lady! Who.. uh… I’ll be honest I don’t remember other people on this show because they weren’t doing crazy cool jumps all over the place. Get with the crazy cool jumps, other people! Anyway, it’s time to fight crime so let’s go fight crime, ghost friends!

This episode description is going to make way more sense if you click “Play” on your podcast device. Maybe.

Aaron Littleton is your host and he misses computer sounds a lot. John Hurst is your co-host and he is gesticulating wildly in to the microphone.

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You get knocked down, but will you ever get back up again? It’s a question posed by Chumbawamba in the 90s and we embraced it in every commercial sense. That’s why when you have a game made by an American company detailing soccer in low polygons with a freakish latex-laden bird mascot, you need something to cover it all with a warm, comforting blanket. That blanket is Chumbawamba and as your see that weirdly detailed in every specific areas bird running down a stock footage street in France, you know everything is okay. Because you’re about to play World Cup 98 for the Playstation 1. And this intro is playing and your cousin just let you be Player 1. You’re the best at Player 1.  I know you are. You’ll get up again.

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Sometimes you just need to watch a mashup video that hastily combines two properties to celebrate an album that is all about merging media proprieties. Like this fan video of Neil Circierega’s mashup of Queen and the Spongebob Squarepants theme. And that’s fine! What are people in the future going to say about it though? Who cares about them! They don’t know anything! They probably think this is the official version of both tracks! They’re writing thesis’ on the Legend of Zelda song and saying it’s by System of a Down. They’re going to get a Mega-C on that paper and they’re going to not mind because they’re not going to need that in the future future! No, they got a Political Art degree from Cumbersome University! They got dreams! And none of these dreams are Mouth Dreams! Now, leave them alone, they got to listen to the classical station because it’s Gaga O’Clock followed by some mother-effin’ fugues.

(Also? Hey, future student? It’s by the Rabbit Joint. You’re welcome.)

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is declaring himself host well before all the hosting duties have been counted. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s starting a pit in this recital.

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Aaron’s hiccup on Archive.org.

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What the heck is a Rax? We don’t have one where we live, but John (may) have been to one before. It’s got speed lines to tell you it’s fast! And people apparently explode when you say the slogan for their short time pita wrap thing. Terrifyingly, at that! Can you get some Rax and take it on the lake with you? Drive a boat with one hand and a pocket wrap thing in the other? And a Miller Lite in it too? Because you’re on a boat? Does this summary have too many questions? Maybe? Maybe? Try a Rax, if it still exists where you are!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s exploding from pita-pockety goodness.. Aaron LIttleton is your co-host and he’s failing a boat class!

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Come to Cabot Cove! Please! We need people to move in! Come see our nature and outdoors  and fresh air and trees!  We have lots of available, affordable housing for you to move into!  And we have Angela Lansbury, the star of Murder, She Wrote! Just ignore the fact that the last three people who lived in there were murdered. Or the murderer. I forget. We have so many murders happen here. You start to lose track especially while trying to remember where Angela Lansbury is at at any moment. Because you will run into her twice. Once alive and once dead. And she’ll write a book about it! It’ll be okay! Three stars on Amazon, at best! So come on down to Cabbit Cove! We’re waiting on you! To be murdered! Maybe! Please help us.

Aaron Littleton hosts this week and he’s wishing upon a gacha star! John Hurst co-hosts and he wants the number “3” on the back of his tombstone.

http://www.videodeathloop.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/VDL201016.mp3

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