Vital Evolution

Part 2 of Top 5 Relationship Savers. If you didn’t get a chance to listen to the first one, you definitely want to check it out. Today Relationships Saver: If you aren’t contributing to it, then don’t expect it.

 ·        What do you most desire that is missing from your relationships? You need to know the answer to this question, no one else can decide this for you. (love, trust, autonomy, support, etc.) How do you need this met? 

·        Significant other: Marriage counseling (love, acceptance or safety). How are you contributing to what you want? 

o   Love – what fills your love tank?

o   Acceptance – not being criticized

o   Trust – giving opportunities to build trust. Step into courage through fear of the past.

·        Children: TIME – meet them where they are. Common interest. (teenagers/adults – buy tickets to a favorite band and go w/ them)

o   You want changed behavior – listen to what their behavior is communicating. Meet their needs.  

o   If they say “I hate you,” it may communicate that they don’t feel accepted/loved. Behavior-focused?

·        Friends: Changed Routine. Went to CO to visit my brother. I am a vegetarian. If they’re good friends, they’ll adjust. Collaborate.

·        In every scenario, we have to change to expect change! 

 How does contributing to what you want help you LEAD Lucky? IF you aren’t leading people by example, then you aren’t creating the environment you desire. How do they know how to succeed? Be who you want them to be, and they’ll follow you. Need boundaries/consequences.

Closing: What is one thing you will take away from the episode today? What will you do? 

 Remember: Living Lucky is not living alone…if this helped you, share it. Please rate the podcast. Second, connect with us and post questions. The links are in the notes… Follow us to know when the next episode is available. liveluckytherapy is available. I appreciate being with you today, and I look forward to discussing more Living Lucky next time.

www.live-lucky.com

www.liveluckytherapy.com

https://www.facebook.com/LiveLuckyTherapy

https://www.twitter.com/blakesuzelis

https://www.instagram.com/liveluckytherapy

https://www.linkedin.com/in/blake-suzelis-2a741015/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAMLVaEJBDhT-_3Qe9hrTgw

The Gift of Luck book:
https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Luck-Stages-Lasting-Change/dp/1791954804

Today we are kicking off a series on Relationships: Top 5 Relationship Savers. We will spend an episode on each Relationship Saver. By the end of the series, you will have the opportunity to step into improved relationships with everyone around you because they apply to the relationships with your significant other, your children, your coworkers, your friends, and your family. The first relationship saver is “Assume Positive Intent”

·        I know I can’t be the only one who has taken someone’s words, expressions, suggestions, or behaviors in a different way than intended. 

o   Ex. I was sick several months ago, and no one checked on me….

o   I should have taken my own advice to calm my emotional brain.

·        Behaviors do express motivation, but we can’t read other people's minds yet…cog distortion – mind reading

o   Smile and hug could be motivated by fear or love

o   Ex. A child with an unhealthy parent. Worked w/ many a role-reversal moments. (hot springs in Montana)

·        Different Angle…If I was an alcoholic and my wife dumped my booze…Fear or Love? Both? PI?

o   Need vs Want: help you discern your own motivation.

·        Your strategies help you understand if you are more likely to fall into this particular unhelpful strategy (assuming worst in people)

o   If you tend to believe people can’t be trusted – Assuming positive intent will he hard

o   If you tend to believe everyone can be trusted, you will get burned…

o   Focus energy on close relationships, especially if they haven’t given you a reason for distrust.

o   Be aware of self and recognize you have a choice. Blame is a dead-end street. 

 How does assuming positive intent help you LEAD Lucky? Be curious. Set boundaries/consequences. When people are led as opposed to just managed, they tend to be more honest and productive. If things are not going well, it is time to look within. Remember, blame is a dead-end street.

 Closing: What is one thing you will take away from the episode today? What will you do? 

 Remember: Living Lucky is not living alone…if this helped you, share it. Please rate the podcast. Second, connect with us and post questions. The links are in the notes… Follow us to know when the next episode is available. liveluckytherapy is available. I appreciate being with you today, and I look forward to discussing more Living Lucky next time.

www.live-lucky.com

www.liveluckytherapy.com

https://www.facebook.com/LiveLuckyTherapy

https://www.twitter.com/blakesuzelis

https://www.instagram.com/liveluckytherapy

https://www.linkedin.com/in/blake-suzelis-2a741015/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAMLVaEJBDhT-_3Qe9hrTgw

The Gift of Luck book:
https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Luck-Stages-Lasting-Change/dp/1791954804

In the last episode, we discussed fear. I said we could learn from fear in many ways. Today we are going to look at the scarcity mindset and the fears that drive it. 

·        What is a scarcity mindset? Driven by fear of not enough, but not in terms of personal value. Scarcity mindset has to do with the fear of safety outside of yourself. 

#1: Get emotion out

o   Fear is expressed in anxiety

#2: Live like you are safe! -Trust

o   Using drawing as a way to understand children…

#3: Create opportunities to live safely

o   Face your fears or Boggart (last episode)

 How does addressing a scarcity mindset help you LEAD Lucky? We discussed needing to be the person your team goes to in the last episode. If you are anxious all the time, do you think your team can truly trust you with their problems? 

Closing: What is one thing you will take away from the episode today? What will you do? 

 Remember: Living Lucky is not living alone…if this helped you, share it. Please rate the podcast. Second, connect with us and post questions. The links are in the notes… Follow us to know when the next episode is available. www.liveluckytherapy.com is available. I appreciate being with you today, and I look forward to discussing more about Living Lucky next time.

www.live-lucky.com

www.liveluckytherapy.com

https://www.facebook.com/LiveLuckyTherapy

https://www.twitter.com/blakesuzelis

https://www.instagram.com/liveluckytherapy

https://www.linkedin.com/in/blake-suzelis-2a741015/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAMLVaEJBDhT-_3Qe9hrTgw

The Gift of Luck book:
https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Luck-Stages-Lasting-Change/dp/1791954804

In the intro of our podcast, I talk about facing the worst of yourself…well today is one of those days…we are going to discuss Fear. There are so many ways to learn and grow from Fear. Today we will look at it through the lens of Harry Potter…

·        In the Movie the Prisoner of Azkaban. Harry and his fellow student wizards are faced with a locked wardrobe of sorts. The scene begins by drawing you into fear as you hear the wardrobe shake from whatever mysterious entity is locked inside. The teacher asks, does anyone know what is inside. One student answers that it is a Boggart. Hermine, of course, follows, stating, as she does, that no one knows what a Boggart looks like because they present as your greatest fear. For the first student, it presents as the feared Professor Snape. The teacher instructs him that whatever he thinks the rest of the class will see when he casts the Ridiculus spell. He casts the spell, and Professor Snape is then dressed in his grandmother’s clothes, and everyone laughs. Another student fears giant spiders and, with the spell, puts roller skates on the spider…you get the picture…

·        What is the point here? These 13yo students face their worst fear. Most of them would have rather just left it in the locked wardrobe. If they had, what would have happened…nothing would have changed/fear would have still won…they would have still kept fearing the thing lingering in the unknown. Avoidance is not a helpful strategy. 

·        For me, and for many, I imagine, my greatest fear was that I wasn’t enough. I spent so many years trying to work harder, be nicer, and give more…where did it get me? I can tell you it didn’t make me feel good about myself, it didn’t attract people to me, I didn’t get my needs met, and the stress of it all probably contributed to being diagnosed with leukemia. I was living in fear all the time. 

·        What is your Boggart? Perhaps you need to face the fear of having a discussion with someone…your best friend, your spouse, your kids…Maybe yours is more internal like mine was. Maybe you are angry, resentful, and aggressive, which is the other end of the pendulum from where I was…both equally damaging in different ways. 

·        I can share my story because that is not who I AM anymore…that person is only my past. Not my present or my future. 

·        I was talking to someone the other day, and we got to laughing at the fears she was having…

 How does facing your Boggart help you LEAD Lucky? It will allow you to be who you want to be as a leader: confident, connected, and able to set consequences and boundaries more easily. IT will also help you catch people doing good to positively reinforce behavior and build the feeling of a team. The team needs to trust you. They need to trust that you can handle their junk…and not get phased by it. If your team is your family and you are the parent...

Closing: What is one thing you will take away from the episode today? What will you do? 

 Remember: Living Lucky is not living alone…if this helped you, share it. Do me a favor and like or rate the podcast; it would be really helpful to get this content out to more people. Second, connect with us and post questions. The links are in the notes… Follow us to know when the next episode is available. Super excited to share: ww.liveluckytherapy.com is up and functional. I appreciate being with you today, and I look forward to discussing more about Living Lucky next time.

www.live-lucky.com
www.liveluckytherapy.com

https://www.facebook.com/LiveLuckyTherapy

https://www.twitter.com/blakesuzelis

#1 – Pain taught me the power of choice. 
 #2 – Poverty taught me prioritization
#3 – Partners teach me daily to learn different ways of doing things.

All three allow us to learn and grow into the person we desire.

#1 – Don’t give an option when there is no option. 
#2 – Use time out…for yourself.
#3 – Think “trust” instead of “respect.” 

Part 5 of the Hall of Mirrors series. Today we discuss how death may be a reflection of your future. Check out the other 4 episodes discussing your home as a reflection of relationships, food as a reflection of mindsets, listening as a reflection of behaviors, and money as a reflection of the heart.

·        With all of the topics in this series, we could go so many different directions…I plan on doing a 4-part series on the 4 Deaths…so keep an eye out for that. Today the focus will be on one particular aspect of death as a reflection of your future…are you living life in a proactive posture or reactive posture?

·        There is a certain level of peace/acceptance that we as humans have to make with our mortality in this human body. 

o   Avoiding the subject of death (FEAR): avoidance is a reactive posture. 

§  Perhaps you have a vision of how you want something to go: marriage (just plan a wedding only), parenting (never try to learn), business (know your trade but not how to run a business), the first day of school (hope everything goes smoothly…). Avoiding planning for something and hoping you will react the way you want or it will happen in a good way is a very unlucky strategy. Learning is helpful. You don’t need to know everything. Having a guide is important… (Dr. Julie Rickard has been a guide for me)

o   Leaning into the subject of death by accepting/embracing death as a way to really live life. This will lead to creating a life you love. proactive posture. (open your root chakra-working through survival & scarcity mindset))

§  Most people don’t have hope that they could live a lucky life. But it is all within your reach. Most people think that a situation and circumstance lead to living a lucky life that you love. This is a very reactive posture. You change the world around you by changing the inside world. If you are ready, there I no time like the present!! I share understanding, but if you want to have a path that has been proven…in my life and others…check out the live lucky program on my website: live-lucky.com. 

§  No need to reinvent the wheel. 

How does understanding death as a reflection of your future help you LEAD Lucky? Do you need a guide? Do you need to learn something different? Do you need more tools to create your vision? Your future depends on being proactive. Creating a lucky life…they don’t just happen. 

Closing: What is one thing you will take away from the episode today? What will you do? 

Remember: Living Lucky is not living alone…if this helped you, share it. Second, connect with us and post questions. The links are in the notes… I appreciate being with you today, and I look forward to discussing more about Living Lucky tomorrow.

www.live-lucky.com

https://www.facebook.com/LiveLuckyTherapy

https://www.twitter.com/blakesuzelis

https://www.instagram.com/liveluckytherapy

https://www.linkedin.com/in/blake-suzelis-2a741015/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAMLVaEJBDhT-_3Qe9hrTgw

The Gift of Luck book:
https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Luck-Stages-Lasting-Change/dp/1791954804

Part 4 of the Hall of Mirrors series. Today we discuss money as a reflection of the heart. Check out the first three episodes where we discuss your home as a reflection of relationships, food as a reflection of mindsets, and listening as a reflection of behaviors.

·        If you have listened to any of this series, you have heard me say that everything is relationship.

·        Noticed that we talked about shelter, food, and now money. All parts of our survival. If any of you get into energy healing: root chakra. Lots of avenues to healing…do what works.

·        Our relationship with money is important for survival. 

o   Fear it: (poverty gospel…I’m holier without money)

§  if you look around and see how some people use money…don’t want to be like them.

§  Being poor was the best learning experience in my life…living in Akron.

o   Worship it: (prosperity gospel…)

§  Fearing “not enough”

§  Usually reflected in a scarcity mindset…feel “not enough” in many areas

o   See it as a tool. Similar to food or a house…we need it to survive, but I don’t need to live for it.

§  Allows you to do more of what you love. But doesn’t change who you are…just magnifies it.

·        Money as a magnifier of the heart

o   A giver with little will be a giver with a lot.

o   Dave Ramsey said: a jerk with a little will be a really big jerk.

·        Money is just a tool. Change is real currency! 

o   If your heart is leading with love instead of fear…money doesn’t need to be feared or worshipped. 

How does understanding money as a reflection of your heart help you LEAD Lucky? As a leader, you have more influence over finances (parent/business owner/etc). If you don’t have a healthy relationship with money, then everyone under you suffers. 

Closing: What is one thing you will take away from the episode today? What will you do? 

Remember: Living Lucky is not living alone…if this helped you, share it. Second, connect with us and post questions. The links are in the notes… I appreciate being with you today, and I look forward to discussing more about Living Lucky tomorrow.

www.live-lucky.com

https://www.facebook.com/LiveLuckyTherapy

https://www.twitter.com/blakesuzelis

https://www.instagram.com/liveluckytherapy

https://www.linkedin.com/in/blake-suzelis-2a741015/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAMLVaEJBDhT-_3Qe9hrTgw

The Gift of Luck book:
https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Luck-Stages-Lasting-Change/dp/1791954804

Part 3 of Hall of Mirrors. Today we discuss listening as a reflection of behaviors. Check out the first two episodes that discuss home as a reflection of relationships and food as a reflection of mindsets. 

·        Listening as a reflection of behaviors 

o   Someone not listening to you: low self-trust. anxiety – fear of looking foolish/fear of being wrong. Trying to think of what to say or how to be right or justify…blocks to listening… Perhaps that’s you.?.

§  Behaviors: perfectionistic. Critical of self (and others). Do not try new things. Don’t trust themselves but still try to control everything around them.

o   Someone listening but not contributing – trust is lacking (w/in them and/or between you)

§  Behaviors: anxious (trust lacking w/in), not trusting you (not sharing deeply)

o   Someone listening and contributing – trust is high. Growth mindset. 

§  Behaviors: not afraid of trying new things. Explorer. 

·        Story: In high school…chameleon. Thought was good. 

·        Brought that into marriage: fear of doing something wrong to offend my wife.

·        Knowing of I AM now…see mirror/window.

How does understanding listening as a reflection of behaviors help you LEAD Lucky? So many ways you can use this…start with self. Notice what your listening is communicating to others. Helps to see the mirror/window more clearly. Behaviors are just the reflection of the internal process. 

Closing: What is one thing you will take away from the episode today? What will you do? 

Remember: Living Lucky is not living alone…if this helped you, share it. Second, connect with us and post questions. The links are in the notes… I appreciate being with you today, and I look forward to discussing more about Living Lucky tomorrow.

www.live-lucky.com

https://www.facebook.com/LiveLuckyTherapy

https://www.twitter.com/blakesuzelis

https://www.instagram.com/liveluckytherapy

https://www.linkedin.com/in/blake-suzelis-2a741015/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAMLVaEJBDhT-_3Qe9hrTgw

The Gift of Luck book:
https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Luck-Stages-Lasting-Change/dp/1791954804

Part 2 of Hall of Mirrors. Today we discuss food as a reflection of mindset. Check out yesterday's episode discussing your home as a reflection of relationships.

·        Food as a reflection of the mind. Everything is a relationship. Your relationship with food.

·        Health food store story. Influenced relationship with food (diet could heal everything. Have to eat perfectly. Can’t be a hypocrite. Avoid going to parties. Anxious about family meals.) Orthorexia. 

·        Perfectionism/stress – CONTROL and everything has to be perfect. B/W thinking. Lack of trust. Critical of others. Just like the feeling of control in eating disorders.

·        Food to cope – LOVE food. Feeling it gives you. (addictions). 

·        After surgery last year…my story

·        Gratefulness – interdependent relationship with food. Need food, but don’t live for food. 

·        I’m not here to tell you how to eat. Listen to the body.  Now, I find intermittent fasting, being a Vegetarian, and being sober allow me to be grateful.

·        What is your relationship with food reflecting to you about your mindsets? So much more to this topic…

How does understanding food as a reflection of the mind help you LEAD Lucky? It gives a glimpse of how people view themselves. Critical. Avoidant of emotions. Grateful. 

Closing: What is one thing you will take away from the episode today? What will you do? 

Remember: Living Lucky is not living alone…if this helped you, share it. Second, connect with us and post questions. The links are in the notes… I appreciate being with you today, and I look forward to discussing more about Living Lucky tomorrow.

www.live-lucky.com

https://www.facebook.com/LiveLuckyTherapy

https://www.twitter.com/blakesuzelis

https://www.instagram.com/liveluckytherapy

https://www.linkedin.com/in/blake-suzelis-2a741015/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAMLVaEJBDhT-_3Qe9hrTgw

The Gift of Luck book:
https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Luck-Stages-Lasting-Change/dp/1791954804