Vital Evolution

We are beginning a 5-part series: Hall of Mirrors.  Today: how your home may mirror your relationships. 

·        Many aspects of life reflect who we are… Beliefs – emo – behaviors – the way we relate

·        What does it mean that your home may be a reflection of your relationships? 1st everything is a relationship. Not cut & dry. 

·        Beliefs/motivations: 

o   Fancy home to show off  - value maintenance. Few close friends. Loyal. May not trust others, though. May deal with imposter syndrome. (Independent)

o   Nice on the outside but cluttered interior. Value appearances. Trouble w/ boundaries & self-care. (Dependent)

o   Disorganized outside and inside – very overwhelmed, depressed. Push-pull in relationships. (Disorganized)

o   “Good enough” exterior and interior – home is just a home, not a reflection of your value. Want to give what it needs and receive what you need (Interdependent and reciprocity)

·        Home reflects safety and security; therefore, TRUST. Trust is the bond that holds relationships together.

o   Invite people over into your home. Inviting inside life/self. 

·        Story about going to the coast…

·        Driving as a reflection of your relationships – Interdependence. 

How does understanding your home as a mirror of your relationship help you LEAD Lucky? Recognize that the exterior does not necessarily reflect the interior. We need to look at beliefs and motivations. Be curious, not critical. 

Closing: What is one thing you will take away from the episode today? What will you do? 

Remember: Living Lucky is not living alone…if this helped you, share it. Second, connect with us and post questions. The links are in the notes… I appreciate being with you today, and I look forward to discussing more about Living Lucky tomorrow. 

www.live-lucky.com

https://www.facebook.com/LiveLuckyTherapy

https://www.twitter.com/blakesuzelis

https://www.instagram.com/liveluckytherapy

https://www.linkedin.com/in/blake-suzelis-2a741015/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAMLVaEJBDhT-_3Qe9hrTgw

The Gift of Luck book:
https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Luck-Stages-Lasting-Change/dp/1791954804

Blake, the host, shares his story about physical challenges, including gastroschisis and leukemia, as well as mental and emotional changes. He discusses his journey of creating the Live Lucky program, as well. Blake's story is meant to bring hope. You don't want to miss this one.

www.live-lucky.com

https://www.facebook.com/LiveLuckyTherapy

https://www.twitter.com/blakesuzelis

https://www.instagram.com/liveluckytherapy

https://www.linkedin.com/in/blake-suzelis-2a741015/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAMLVaEJBDhT-_3Qe9hrTgw

The Gift of Luck book:
https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Luck-Stages-Lasting-Change/dp/1791954804

Today we interview Glen from the Live Lucky program.  He shares his experience and change story. Glen detailed his history of anger, guilt, poor relationships, perfectionism, and the unhelpful strategies that got him there. Further, he shares how different his life has been since "trusting the process" of the Live Lucky program. Glen shares about his leadership at Tree Top as a Vice President. 

www.live-lucky.com

https://www.facebook.com/LiveLuckyTherapy

https://www.twitter.com/blakesuzelis

https://www.instagram.com/liveluckytherapy

https://www.linkedin.com/in/blake-suzelis-2a741015/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAMLVaEJBDhT-_3Qe9hrTgw

The Gift of Luck book:
https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Luck-Stages-Lasting-Change/dp/1791954804

Are you controlling? Do you feel like you are being controlled? What does controlling behavior communicate? What influences controlling behavior? 

Feeling a lack of control combined with viewing "luck" as chance leads to shutting down and possibly depression.

Feeling a lack of control combined with viewing "luck" as something you create leads to overcompensating in controlling behavior. Feeling unsafe or a lack of trust can lead to controlling behavior, as well. 

How can you understand yourself better or increase empathy for others?

www.live-lucky.com

 https://www.facebook.com/LiveLuckyTherapy

https://www.twitter.com/blakesuzelis

https://www.instagram.com/liveluckytherapy

https://www.linkedin.com/in/blake-suzelis-2a741015/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAMLVaEJBDhT-_3Qe9hrTgw

The Gift of Luck book:
https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Luck-Stages-Lasting-Change/dp/1791954804

https://www.nsvrc.org/statistics

Why Live "Lucky"? 
How does your definition or meaning of "lucky" create the box in which you reside? 
We will discuss the answers to these topics and more in Episode 2 of the Live Lucky Podcast.

www.live-lucky.com
 https://www.facebook.com/LiveLuckyTherapy
 https://www.twitter.com/blakesuzelis
 https://www.instagram.com/liveluckytherapy
 https://www.linkedin.com/in/blake-suzelis-2a741015/
 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAMLVaEJBDhT-_3Qe9hrTgw
 
 The Gift of Luck book:
 https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Luck-Stages-Lasting-Change/dp/1791954804

What two words influence everything about you? How you act, how you feel, how you think, how you relate to others, who you marry, what job you take, even how far you go in life… I imagine many people would think the two most powerful words are “Yes and No. These are powerful words and they too shape our lives, but the two most powerful words in our lives are “I AM.” They dictate our “Yes and No.” For example, if you believe yourself to be “loving” or another way of saying this is “I AM loving.” You will filter everything you do through this I AM statement/belief. Last night as I was getting ready for this episode, I asked my 21yo son what he thought the two most powerful words in our lives are. He said (reliability and honesty). These are great words, but what he was really saying was “I AM reliable and I AM honest” are two important I AM beliefs because they influence these types of behaviors, which generate a certain possibility of lifestyle. I am proud of these two I AM statements that my son has adopted. He is both honest and reliable. Now, what if we look at I AM beliefs that are not very helpful…As a therapist who works with kiddos from 2yo all the way up to the elderly, one of the most common I AM statements that damages lives is “I AM not good enough.” Now notice that I said that they were clients in my counseling practice…but this pervasive, unhelpful belief shows its ugly face with almost everyone who seeks mental health care. Think about how filtering life through the belief of “I AM not good enough” affects a person’s thoughts, emotions, behaviors, relationships, and future choices. One end of the spectrum is depression. You see little hope in trying anything different. You feel helpless to get out of the pit you are in. Even though you want a better life, it always seems out of reach. Instead of attracting individuals that are positive and encouraging, this seems to grate at you in a way that makes no sense. So you hang out with other individuals who are at the same end of the spectrum because at least they understand you. Your choices continue to support this way of experiencing life, which reinforces the fact that life is hopeless. On the other end of the spectrum, filtering life through “I AM not good enough” creates anxiety. You do see hope in trying, but each choice you make is also terrifying because everything you do is ridden with the fear that you will fail or others will find out that you are actually a fraud. It is pretty easy to see that either end of the spectrum and actually every place in between is not a life that most would wish for. So where do I AM beliefs like “I AM good enough” and others like it start? They usually start at an early age as a result of the strategies we create to get our needs met in our families. Then they may shift as we begin seeing our peers as more important influences in our lives. Then typically it will shift to our significant other or best friends as adults. With all of them, they start with emotion. In the end, all of our needs are emotional. We want to FEEL a certain way. We eat food so we feel energetic. We make money for the FEELING of security and safety or the FEELING that we actually are good enough based on our definition of success.  IF we don’t take the time to assess our feels and beliefs and then challenge these I AM statements we have, we go through life in the role of a victim. Everything in life happens TO US. We base everything about ourselves on how we are viewed by others and what people think about us. If you have 10 people in your life, you will have 10 different ways people think you should be. That is a lot of pressure to live up to and a lot of people to please just so you can FEEL good enough. IT is so interesting…like I said we usually create this and other damaging beliefs when we are extremely young. Let me ask you, would you ask a 5yo what to think and how to live life? Probably not. The immature child version of ourselves is where