VOICES with Amber B Skylar

I got depressed this week, didn't even do my Wednesday episode.  The politics of vaccines, mask fights, people judging each other on whether or not they like Trump or republicans, are the democrats more caring, will doctors really stop treating people without a vaccine?  We talk about freedom to choose and yet we are still battling the issue of abortion.  I follow stories of sexual assault, rape, violence against women and it seems that it makes a headline as long as it feeds to media cycle and their need for funding, or whatever lobbyist is  pushing its political agenda, or its insatiable need for the competitive market of media.  Sensation sells.  It seems that the time for women - has not arrived quite yet.  We still have nation states suppressing women, stopping them from working and we here in the US are going round and round like mice on the wheel of the science of politics, the business of big money, and the fact that institutions are not designed to be good, they are designed to thrive  - no matter the cost.  People, you are expendable.  You are replaceable.  I learned this in the military. Grappling with this as a woman, contributes to my growing cynicism - and feeds the depression of a silenced voice.  And yet, here I am, standing up for the rights and lives of females. It is a lonely path. 

#amberbskylar #voiceofamber #rape #metoo #violenceagainstwomen #domesticviolence #equalrightsforwomen #voiceofwomen

When I reached out to my marketing team months ago, I was trying to better understand hashtags.  The ones I chose were good, or so I thought.  What I have learned when doing research on - what are the most popular hashtags for women - I was blown away.  

amberbskylar.com - contact [email protected]

#voiceofamber #voicesofwomen #womensrights #metoo #women #veteran #rape #violenceagainstwomen 

War is going on all over the world and with it comes rape of women and children.  Not only do we keep women uneducated in some cultures like the Afghanistan Taliban regime,(Islamic militants)  we use them like Mommies to cook, clean, and make them cover themselves all under the name of "God" or Allah - or be subjected to stoning, jail, and beheadings. The women are forced to be excluded from society all under some distorted, taken out of context, religious notion/faction,(just like other religions use God for whatever) - which is why any culture would want to keep women as "less than" and not worthy of education.  I learned something recently about how educating women in a culture like this - can help and can also be a huge fear of militants. 

I am not an expert.

amberbskylar.com - contact [email protected]

Listen to Matt Zeller, Independent Americans Podcast - The Collapse of Afghanistan Why Taliban Don't Want Women to Read

#amberbskylar #voiceofamber #metoo #womensrights #womensupportingwomen #violenceagainstwomen 

A good thing about 2021 is that we have more vehicles of communication than ever before.  I am 59 now and my entire life I've felt like and been treated like a second class citizen.  When you think about this stuff alone, you feel alone, and maybe even crazy (in the negative way).  But more and more movies and documentaries are talking about #metoo #wagediscrimination #sexualharrassment and so much more and I for one am grateful.  I do not have any women in my life who care enough to be involved in women's activism. It's hard enough just to have a serious conversation. This Netflix documentary #ThisChangesEverything directed by Maria Giese and highlights Geena Davis Institute on Gender.  

#amberbskylar #voiceofamber #metoo #veteran #militarysexualtrauma #sexualharrassment #voicesofwomen 

I do not believe that I need to forgive anyone who has hurt, abused, disrected and harmed me in any way.  I sometimes think that forgiveness is used as a cop out - for example, trying to get victims to look the other way, like religious leaders who have asked victims to talk about what happened and then to forgive their attacker.  Victims have been encouraged over and over to "let it go", "god wants you to forgive".  Call me selfish, immature, ungodly, call me whatever you need to call me to help yourself digest the boldness of my viewpoint. It will not change how I feel about forgiveness.  I do not totally disagree with how powerful forgiveness can be, for certain situations, but for victims who have been traumatized, and their experiences minimized and shoved in some mental box for storage under the title "I forgive them" is a cop out to me.  Victims need to be witnessed and heard and they need justice.  

#amberbskylar #voiceofamber #Metoo #forgiveness #womenhelpingwomen

Nike created an ad campaign called #Dreamcrazier - Just do it inspired by the treatment of female athletes who get emotional. I'm so tired of being told that I am "dramatic" because I express emotion.  Not just by men, but by scared, compliant females who need a man to complete them. Even my own brother tries to diminish my expression of anger and call it "drama queen".  So be it.  I am embracing the crazy.  I am embracing my feelings of anger at the amount of violence towards women and the fact that many people just look the other way.  Im angry that people seem to be afraid of angry women.  Or even if a woman simply has an angry response.  People are afraid of women's anger.  Ladies - our anger is our human right.  It frees us from the overwhelming depression that ensues if we look the other way.  The time has come for women to get up and use their voice, critical thinking, skill and talent to advocate for human rights for women.

#amberbskylar #justdoit #womeninsports #metoo #womenhelpingwomen

Predators seek out vulnerability.  Society starts training females at a young age to be sweet, feminine, naive and charming.  We are trained that we are not strong enough to hear truth about whats going on with violence against women.  We are not encouraged to fight violence with violence.  Why? A woman alone, carrying groceries to her car at night. A mother with her 2 children, juggling packages, schedules, just trying to live her life. Young, naive women at college, using smiles and provocative clothing to lure a sex partner, topped off with the frat boy and tequila just trying to have a night of fun. When we are under the influence we are perfect targets.  What about just taking a walk in a park in NY?  You don't have to be in a big city to be stalked, attacked, preyed upon - it can and does happen anywhere at anytime - and you don't need to be drunk.  We must lbe more than the girl  good and  and become warriors - always aware and on the look out, ready to defend.  

#amberbskylar #voiceofamber #veterans #metoo #sexualassault #violenceagainstwomen 

For a very long time now, females have learned that one of the ways to survive or to achieve more success, they had to be "good".  What does that mean exactly?  Maybe it helped generations of women in the past, in terms of survival, but will it really help future generations?  I think not.

#amberbskylar #voiceofamber #veteran #metoo #ptsd #mentalhealth #violenceagainstwomen

I'm tired of apologizing for things that I do not need to apologize for.  Women have a tendency to quickly apologize for too many things.  I realize after doing this podcast that I have been apologizing my entire life for just being female.  Even though at times - I'd be burning up with rage or anger for some injustice and I'd hold it in with an apology.  Now, I get it, there is an appropriate time to say "I am sorry" but not always.

#amberbskylar #voiceofamber #veteran #domesticviolence #metoo #ptsd 

I've had the hardest time actually accepting that I am disabled from Chronic Post Traumatic Stress. When I hear words like "mental illness" even though I know its not an illness, I have cringed over the years of my growth, telling myself I was going to "fix this". I actually had a plan to clean myself up and change - just like that. Only recently, with the help of an excellent therapist, am I beginning to understand my own behavior and life choices, judgments, and my brain and body (Central Nervous System) algorithm - my bodies adaptation and behavioral outcomes that seem permanent and limiting - and what I am learning as I discover more about who I am, who I have become and how all of this has shaped my perception about being alive and human.

#amberbskylar #voiceofamber #metoo #mentalhealth #ptsd #posttraumaticgrowth #rape #violenceagainstwomen #veteran #mst