Warped

Come suffer with us as we take a whack at one of the most appalling storylines of The Original Series. While the precious children are being manipulated into age-inappropriate self-love practices by a muumuu-clad cheese villain, we manage to find our own joy where we can. Jake experiences catharsis by sharing his feelings about child actors, Erin pushes the boundaries of some cultural taboos, and Philippe describes the slaughter involved in making a chinchilla fur coat. This episode's connection to Police Academy takes us all on a fun celebration of Michael Winslow, and, in a turn towards social redemption, we talk about Patches the Cat, and encourage our audience to adopt rescue animals.

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While Captain Kirk is enjoying some R & R, the Warped crew observes some of the unfortunate casting practices of the 1960's. On tap this week, a free round of cultural sensitivity training to shed some of the shame we picked up from watching this week's episode of Star Trek. Jake brings back an old Warped standard, while Shawn makes an important correction about a recent Peter Pan. Meanwhile, Philippe serenades Erin with a new song that represents the passage of time.  

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This week on Warped, the crew has a round-table discussion on everything we know about Romulans, which is probably a lot less than our average listener. Special Guest Phat Money returns to guide us through the sordid world of mommy porn. We discuss the socio-economic implications of the beverage known as orange drink, and whether the intimate act of bagpiping is logical or purely emotional. Someone dug our old friend the Nomad probe out of the prop room, and we give it the recognition it deserves. Don't worry, Screenie, we'll always love you best.

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As we kick off a new season of Star Trek, the crew observes some changes to the show. A new color for the title, a new studio running the show, and new costumes that defy all reason and practicality. Our Special Guest, Phat Money, disses DS9 and drops a Babylon Babyl-bomb. Everyone knows this is a historically bad episode of "the Trek", but what you might not know is that it's really Scotty's hair that ruins everything. Philippe gives his hot take on star dates and works to further alienate our audience, but he makes it up to us by capturing Spock's desire to get his brain back with an elegantly composed and highly original melody. Most importantly, our latest obsession is the exciting lawnmower wheel/wax canister that is destined to become the little blue pill of the future.

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Join the Warped crew's ongoing mission through the rolling hills of New York. We share our wildest fantasies about being chased by military officers in full ascot regalia, and our darkest fears that this film was built on a foundation of kitty corpses. Just to give you a clue about the tone of this episode: we kick things off by talking about Sandy Duncan's boobs and close out the episode by talking about Sandy Duncan's lower back, so... pretty good day at the studio.

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The crew of Warped is through another season of Star Trek and is ready to get their "relax" on! Our reward to ourselves is an indulgent dip into some Disney movie nostalgia. With his guard down, Philippe comes clean about his affection for cats. The magic is ruined for Erin when someone pays a social visit with their pet. Cobie Smulders gets put on blast, but has absolutely nothing to be concerned about. And finally, we talk about race horses, but that doesn't mean we need any of your horse drama.

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The crew throws a raucous celebration in honor of making it to the end of the second season of Star Trek. Things quickly take a turn for the feline as we voice our opinion about cat companions. Deep discussion about aggressive fish, sexy time, and even more Cars talk distracts us from our important assignment. We make an exciting decision about our next episodes, but we couldn't close out the season without besmirching the good names of Lindsay Lohan and Barney one last time.

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This week on Warped, the abundance of motorcycle helmets makes us feel like we're watching CHiPs. We crack the mysteries of the Prime Directive and discuss the insidious Canadian influence on popular culture. In our newest recurring segment, Shawn honors the dead while Erin is distracted by Roman up-skirt camera shots. As always, we continue our ill-advised war against the Hollywood establishment. Be Warned! Warped Recommendations contains spoilers for Ralph Breaks the Internet. 

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Shawn is, at once, fascinated and confused by the TV show Legion, and there's no way he's alone in this. Even after all these years, Erin has no sympathy for Pierce Brosnan's character in Mrs. Doubtfire. We firmly establish ourselves as the Macaulay Culkin of podcasts. From H. G. Wells to Robert Heinlein, we finally have a thematically appropriate conversation about Science Fiction. Fortunately, we quickly catch ourselves and mosey on over to the very popular True Crime genre. All this, plus Saved by the Bell nostalgia, this week on Warped!

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The Warped crew really doesn't feel like getting up and would like for someone to solve their bathroom needs with transporter technology. We channel some Swayze energy while chatting about Red Dawn, the Cars universe, and having one of the Top 12 Bristol Farms-related Comedy Podcast Rants of 2019. Our overall interest in the show can certainly dim when commenting on a plot like this, but if you measure our podcast against the quality of fight choreography in this episode of Star Trek, we're shining brighter than a supernova, baby.

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