We Gauge Cage

Brock and Brian watch Nic Cage's film "Looking Glass" to gauge his acting skills. Spoiler Alert: Creep.

Looks like we made it. Look how far we've come, my babies. The boys were desperate for something, anything, to wash the bad taste of Dog Eat Dog out of their mouths. This week they found solace in Nic Cage's 2014 film "Outcast." Nic has a chance to show off his range by playing a Scottish samurai bandit warlord, but ultimately takes a backseat to the gorgeous, flawless radiance of Hayden Christensen....(sigh)...that hair, that bod...Where were we?Anywho, Brian and Brock also discuss their individual paths toward self-improvement, the mad skills that they used to possess in high school gym class, and the snow-bound escapades of Ranger the wonder-dog. Enjoy?

Brian and Brock watch Nic Cage's Film "Outcast" to gauge his acting skills. Spoiler Alert: Sorry. The good martial-artsy Asian action film you're looking for is in another castle.

*sigh*Ladies and gentlemen? Do you mind if we call you "ladies and gentlemen?" Well, ladies and gentlemen...Not much more can be said about this film. Brian and Brock watched Nic Cage's 2016 film "Dog Eat Dog." Hopefully, so that none of you will ever have to. Seriously though, f*ck this movie. While doing anything to avoid having to actually talk about the film, the boys discuss their fanciest Valentine's Day dates, throw T Swift some more love, challenge other grown men to fisticuffs, and strip it all down (for the ladies). But seriously...f*ck this f*cking movie.

Brock and Brian watch Nic Cage's film "Dog Eat Dog" to gauge his acting skills. Spoiler Alert: This is his worst movie. Bar none.

Let's address the homicidal, filicidal, manic elephant in the room: the boys cheated. Brock and Brian were supposed to watch a different movie according to their metrics, but they couldn't pass up an opportunity to view Nic Cage's most recent cinematic offering, 2018's action-horror-black-comedy "Mom & Dad."Who better to explain the loving bond between parent and child than two childless podcasters? Along the way, you'll find out how they met their wives, Brock's unique viewing experience alongside "Peggy" and "June," and whether Brian is willing to cave in once and for all and crown Nicolas Cage a "good actor." We also may have a little Valentine's Day surprise for you dear listeners.

Brian and Brock watch Nic Cage's film "Mom & Dad" to gauge his acting ability. Spoiler Alert: You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself...around.

Anton Yelchin was a true generational talent, celebrated for his work in such films as JJ Abrams' Star Trek (2009) films, his romantic turn in 2011's Like Crazy, his dramatic early work in 2007's Charlie Bartlett, and his recent 2015 indie horror thriller (which Brock thoroughly enjoyed) Green Room. You can also catch him in the upcoming film Thoroughbreds, in select theaters March 2018. Anton Yelchin was only second-billed in the movie that Brock and Brian watched this week, however, because top billing went to Nicolas Cage. We sat through Nic Cage's 2014 film Dying of the Light, about...CIA stuff. We think. The boys could have really used that orange book over there, that dictionary, for this watch. Or at the very least, some subtitles. But also, Anton Yelchin.

Brock and Brian watch Nic Cage's film "Dying of the Light" to gauge his acting skills. Spoiler Alert: Anton Yelchin.

Well you're not hardcore...until you live softcore. And this film, that we just watched, was way softcore! This week, the fellas cuddled up with a bottle of award-winning Pillsbury wine, lit a candle or two, and settled in for an erotic thriller - Nic Cage's 1991 film "Zandalee." Brock and Brian discuss their storied careers as professional grapers, Brock's trip to Cottonwood, AZ, where he actually met the director of this film (without realizing he was the director of this film), and they clean up a few loose ends from Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance. Special Guest Appearance on this episode. Apologies up front.