We Gauge Cage

Brian and Brock watch Nic Cage's film "Zandalee" to gauge his acting ability. Spoiler Alert: "I feel so unsatisfied...But at least he makes a damn good wine."

Brock and Brian take their talents to Eastern Europe for this one. They are scraping at the door to chat about their beautiful, loving, best wives ever; their experience with fishy white sauce; and last and almost certainly least, the latest Nic Cage film that they watched. This week brought them the 2011 sequel "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance," which was Nic Cage's limited (and hopefully only?) foray into the Marvel Cinematic Universe...ish. Make sure to vote in our Twitter poll after this one. It is super important to us. You can find us @wegaugecagepod on Twitter and the 'Gram.

Brock and Brian watch Nic Cage's film "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance" to gauge his acting skills. Spoiler Alert: He's scraping at the door!

Ladies and gentlemen, let's address the overacting, bloody elephant in the room right off the top: the audio quality on this one isn't our favorite. It's not the worst thing in the world, but it's not our best. And you deserve our best. However, we huddled together and felt like the content was worth releasing anyway. We captured lightning in a bottle, baby!Brock and Brian watched Nic Cage's film Arsenal (2017) with the hopes that none of you will ever have to. Seriously. It is not worth it. You know what they say: "Come for the lack of plot or motivation, stay for the buckets (and BUCKETS) of fake blood and the dead, sad, pleading look in Nicolas Cage's eyes."Woof. This was a ruff one. (Still dog-friendly, after all these eps...)

Brian and Brock watch Nic Cage's film "Arsenal" to gauge his acting skills. Spoiler Alert: This movie sucks.

We don't think you're ready for this jelly. After a much-deserved songular introduction to our titular leading man, Brock and Brian debate over which of them is the worse influence on the other, and then hop right into the post-apocalyptic nightmare of Nic Cage's film The Humanity Bureau (2017, technically...don't worry about it). Romanian subtitles, bread-soaked eye sockets, whispers of cannibalism (but just whispers), patriotic recitals, homoerotic undertones, and tons and tons of references to piss-drinking. This film had it all! So hop into the front seat of your green-screened El Camino and Fugiti!

Brock and Brian watch Nic Cage's film "The Humanity Bureau" to gauge his acting skills. Spoilert: We've seen some children do some things...

Phallic Symbol, Phallic Symbol. Brian and Brock and their twin brothers Kircher and Ambrosius hop in their puddle-jumper airplanes and travel to the mysterious private island of Summers Eve/Isle with the world's greatest highway patrolman detective, Nicolas Cage, to find out what's going on with The Wicker Man (remake, from 2006). Look, Nic Cage doesn't ask any of the right questions, so neither did we. We laughed, we cried, we were thoroughly confused, and we recorded the 100% CLEANEST (and longest) Podcast Episode yet. Buckle up, and watch out for runaway semi trucks, because this one gets rough.

Brian and Brock watch Nic Cage's film "The Wicker Man" to gauge his acting skills. Spoiler Alert: The Bees? Or Not The Bees?

DISCLAIMER: We're just two guys. When we started out, these first couple of episodes were rough. The audio was rough. The mics were crappy. Our banter was rough. We stepped over each other while talking. And we weren't super comfortable talking on mic yet. But, we promise that it gets better. We get a template, we get a rhythm, we get in a groove. So, if this is your starting point while listening, we implore you to keep listening, and perhaps jump ahead. A good episode to start with is "Episode 3 - Wicker Man." Some of our better episodes are "Episode 9 - Mom & Dad" or "Episode 16 - Army of One." If it's not your thing after giving it a fair shake, we get it. But all we are saying...is give this pod a chance.Oh boy. Jokers were wild for this one. Brock and Brian got to watch Nic Cage go FULL Nic Cage in this 1993 film, directed by Nic's brother Christopher. This movie was useless, save for every single second Nicolas Cage was on screen. Baby, this is what we came for. Hi-F***ing-YA! Before that, the boys talk about their Christmases, they unwrap some gifts, and Brock apologizes for his low energy through the first half (he was afraid of inciting the wrath of his beautiful, loving, annoyed wife who had just made a mess that Brock neglected to help clean up).