We Would Be Dead

By We Would Be DeadComedy True Crime

We Would Be Dead episodes

July 21, 2022 Dungeons and Dragons and the Devil (Satanic Panic)
THAT’S RIGHT STRANGER THINGS FANS, it was real! Not the actual hell beasts, but the misplaced fear and anger for sure. In the nineteen eighties and early nineties the United States was locked in a full scale panic. Law enforcement was convinced that cults of child raping, child murdering, animal sacrificing, pro suicide, ritual sacrificing, goat man loving, devil worshiping Satanists were bubbling up in every state. These monsters were on the loose, taking children at will, and summoning the dark forces with their seductive role playing games and country preschools.
Did the devil actually take up residence in a bunch of little towns? No, of course not, but people were scared, and where there’s fear there’s panic, and where there's panic there is blame, and when misguided fear leads to blame, we have a good ole fashioned witch hunt. Join us as we examine how the devil took a hard right into the beloved hobby of everyone’s favorite Hawkins Highschool students, Dungeons and Dragons.
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Quoted New York Times Article
Get your Dungeons and Dragons on

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1 hr 46 min
July 13, 2022 In The Pines (The Jersey Devil)
The New Jersey Pine Barrens hold so many wild and dramatic secrets that we know this won’t be the only episode we devote to them. This week we’ll take a little walk through Piney history before focusing on the main event, Jersey’s very own monster… (not all state’s have one, so we’re very proud), the Jersey devil!

Many of you will be familiar with the story of Mother Leeds and her cursed 13th child, but hang on to your hat because the origins of this dark and stormy tale are not what you might expect. Join us on quite the wild ride straight into the heart of the weird state we call home.

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The story of Lord Cornbury
Norman Jeffries Devil madness
The Devil’s Government page
Information on forced Piney sterilization
*The Domestic Life of the Jersey Devil: or, BeBop's Miscellany - A book by Bill Sprouse (a descendent of the Jersey Devil)
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1 hr 42 min
July 06, 2022 Not a Runaway (The Disappearance of Katelin Akens)
In this, the first installment in our “Not a Runaway” series we discuss the mysterious disappearance of 19 year old Katelin Akens.
“Katelin Michelle Akens was last seen on December 5, 2015, in the vicinity of Oak Crest Drive in Partlow, Virginia. She was visiting family in Spotsylvania County, Virginia, and was scheduled to fly home to Arizona on December 5, 2015. However, she did not board her flight and has not been seen since. On December 7, 2015, the Virginia Department of Transportation (VDOT) recovered a piece of blue luggage from a roadside ditch, unzipped, empty, and with a missing wheel. A wallet was located inside the luggage with Arizona identification belonging to Akens.“
Right now, In the United States there are 194,673 reported missing girls and women under 21, and that only accounts for the time that has elapsed since January first, according to national statistics by the end of the year there will be twice as many.
91% of these women and girls are classified as Runaways. It's comforting to assume these women and girls just decided to go somewhere else, but ask their families how many of them actually did that, and I think you'll get a vastly lower percentage.
We need to believe these families, we need to give these girls the importance they deserve, we need to find them. All of them.
Anyone with information about Katelin or her disappearance should call the Spotsylvania county sheriff's office at (540) 582-7115 or Spotsylvania's Crime Solvers at (540) 582-5822 or 1 (800) 928-5822

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FBI official listing for Katelin
Help Find Katelin Akens Facebook Group

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2 hr 38 min
June 22, 2022 Blaze of Glory (The Murder of Blaze Bernstein)
Blaze Bernstein was good. He was a good kid who grew into a good teen and was making a pretty smooth transformation into a good adult. Blaze was kind and talented. Blaze was adventurous and intelligent. Blaze was gay and Jewish.
Sam Woodward was angry. Sam was an angry kid who grew into an angry teen and transformed into an angry adult. Sam was aggressive and isolated. Sam was confused and hungry for attention. Sam was a homophobic white supremacist.
This is the story of 2 boys who grew up just an hour away from one another. Both boys were raised in affluent families, both attended the same prestigious art school, and had many advantages in life. So how did one end up violently stabbing the other to death in an empty park in the middle of the night? Well, it seems that one can take two very different paths and still end up at the same destination. One chose hope, and the other chose hate.

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Blaze Bernstein Memorial Fund
Blaze it Forward Facebook group

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1 hr 58 min
June 15, 2022 Missing Pieces (The Murder of Kitty Genovese)
On March 27th 1964, the headline: "37 Who Saw Murder Didn't Call the Police; Apathy at Stabbing of Queens Woman Shocks Inspector" was splashed across the cover of the New York times. The story behind it was the horrific rape and murder of a young woman named Kitty Genovese. But the story doesn't focus on Kitty, or even her murderer, it focuses on her neighbors, who allegedly saw the murder in real time and did nothing. This story stirred an enormous reaction to a phenomenon that was dubbed Urban Apathy. This case also inspired all the research that lead to a psychosocial theory called "the Bystander Effect". There's just one problem, the New York Times lied.
Most of you will know this case, but there is so much about it that has been hidden from the public for so long that we felt it deserves re-examining. Kitty, her devoted family and long time girlfriend Mary Ann lived their lives for a great many years believing that Kitty was the girl no one cared about, but she wasn't. She isn't. We decided to take a fresh look at this classic morality tale and find the truth behind the lessons.
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Original New York Times Article
LA Times article on Sophia Ferrar
Winston Moseley's NYT Editorial
*The Witness - Documentary on Amazon Prime
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1 hr 51 min
June 08, 2022 The Worst Love Story (The Richardson Family Murders)
At 1:00 p.m. on April 23, 2006, 6 year old Garret ran over his neighbors house anticipating an afternoon of playing Star Wars. After knocking on the door several times Garret decided to peek into the window to see where his friend might be, but what he saw sent him running back home as fast as his little legs would carry him.
Police were summoned and discovered the bodies of the houses occupants, with the exception of their 12 year old daughter Jasmine. Authorities were terrified that Jasmine may have also been a victim but in time they discovered something far worse.
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JUSTICE STORY: The sick, sordid tale of Souleater and the Runaway Devil
*Runaway Devil: How Forbidden Love Drove a 12-Year-Old to Murder Her Family
A Rare Report of Clinical Lycanthropy in Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders
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2 hr 8 min
May 24, 2022 Beautiful Cigar Girl (Mary Rogers)
The death of Mary Rogers is known to many as America's first murder mystery. Published by Edgar Allen Poe as "The Mystery of Marie Rogêt in 1842, Mary's story became America's introduction to true crime, but for all it's retelling, and the country's brief and feverish fascination with the "beautiful cigar girl" Mary's case still remains technically unsolved.

Mary, known as a legendary beauty, unknowingly set a standard the the rest of the country would run with for centuries to come, but her untimely, brutal death, which should have served as a warning, seems to have fallen on deaf ears. No amount of adoration kept her from turning up in the Hudson River, dead.
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Article from the Smithsonian
The Mystery of Marie Rogêt Full Text

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1 hr 11 min
May 18, 2022 Nightmare Fuel 2.0 (Cursed Objects Part 2)
Our second round of Cursed Objects is international! This time Holly and Leslie both head over the pond to take a look at two objects so spooky, we guarantee you'll be repeating their stories around your next campfire. First Leslie tells us about Old Nick, The Swansea devil.... you're going to want to check out our Instagram for the photos of this one. Holly follows up with the tale of the Thomas Busby Stoop Chair, a chair so cursed with violence that it is currently displayed high on a wall, so that no one can sit in it. Make a blanket fort and get out your flashlights because this one is SPOOKY!
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1 hr 21 min
May 10, 2022 New moon, Who Dis? (30 Minute Twilight: New Moon)
Ok fiends, so many of you enjoyed the first "thirty minute movie" installment of Twilight that we decided to share the next film in the saga with the whole class.
In this wild (normally patrons only) series Holly and Leslie summarize a movie in thirty minutes in a frenzied game of hot potato. Here's how it works: the girls set the timer for five minutes and trade back and forth telling the story until 30 minutes has elapsed and hopefully the whole story has been told. During the narration you'll also get their thought, weird observations and frequent frustrations. It's a good time. If you like this episode, join our Patreon to get access to a whole catalogue of 30 minute horror movies!
Things have been so heavy and scary the past few weeks we decided to have a little laugh. Enjoy!
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49 min
May 05, 2022 Girls Don’t Hitchhike (The Highway Of Tears)
From 1970 until present day 73 women and girls have gone missing or turned up dead on Canada’s highway 16, otherwise known as the highway of tears. A disproportionate number of these women and girls are indigenous. Most of their cases remain unsolved. Most of their faces remain unseen.
The Royal Canadian Mounted Police assembled a task force in 2005 in the hopes of solving 18 of these cases.
The name of the task force is E-Pana.
18 is not enough. But it’s a start. We could never endeavor to tell all of their stories today, we've told as many as we could and in time we will tell more. We also start to unravel the cultural genocide of indigenous people that has been going on in Canada and the United Stated for hundreds of years, and trace the generational trauma that is deeply rooted in the horror of residential schools.

May 5th is Red Dress Day, so wear your red in honor of the missing and murdered indigenous women, girls and 2 spirit people. For more on the red dress project, click the link below.

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Finding Cleo Podcast
Who killed Alberta Williams Podcast
Red dress project
Ways to help
https://www.amnesty.ca/what-we-do/no-more-stolen-sisters/
https://www.nativehope.org/missing-and-murdered-indigenous-women-mmiw
https://www.csvanw.org/mmiw/

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Legends of the Iroquois (Myths and Legends) (Leslie read the Song of the Hermit Thrush tale from this book)

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1 hr 55 min