Western Promises

sending love to everyone who truly feels in this f'd up world. we are going through it as a species and i just wish we could stop hurting each other. ugh. UGH.

bonus episodes, discord access, and just helping:

patreon.com/westernpromises

seo time: master chief, chipotle, poly, adultery, kissing, sex gifs, fortnite, hamas, israel, world cultures, ps5, forza, fifa, lebron james, hong kong, ukraine, russia, biden, homies, los angeles, instagram, virgin, incel, grilling, jerky, perky, baulders gate 3, species, bad tits, to write love on her arms

dont you find it funny how this always happens? you will be minding your own business, drinking a soft kombucha on the beach listening to banana pancakes and thinking "wow how could anything be better" when suddenly you are overcome with an impending sense of doom and deep embarassment. you feel it in your chest at first but then it starts to sink down into the pit of your stomach like a rotten baseball. did you really earn this life? have you done anything of value, ever? no, probably not. get back to work you worthless loser.

also subscribe to our patreon for bonus episodes and excluuuuuuuuusive features like one where you can listen to my therapy sessions for real.

patreon.com/westernpromises

damn dog look at my lawyer, im going to pizza jail

patreon.com/westernpromises

yo this is my song. turn that mess up. lets blow the tweeters out. turn the sub off. trebel all the way up. this is our song.

subscribe to the show to get bonus eps, vids, discord access thnks

patreon.com/westernpromises

mexican aliens, steve harvey as the joker, Las Vegas getting pwnd, splitting your dick in two to ear extra money, starfield, brother, what didnt we talk about on this episode. A no-show guest couldnt stop us. Also help me rein in Kevin, he is going a little to hard recently and im worried about mass appeal. or at the very least subscribe to our patreon so we can get him some accent training. all of his accents sound the exact same and i just think we can do a little better.

- sub for a bonus ep each week dears

pronouns? in my space video game? whats next? a lizzo mcdonalds meal? c'mon.

bro the west has fallen, just get in the car. we are going to crystal burger

also man what if you wanted like more of this show?

patreon.com/westernpromises

if hercules missed when he shot out the sun do you think the arrow would have ever stopped? If atlas didnt shrug, do you think he ever would? if i was good once, was i am good as i ever was? this week we mourn the loss of our valued employee cootie. he was a real pain the the ass and he kept chewing off the erasers on all of the pencils in the supply closet but he could beat box better than anyone else in the office and the food he would bring for lunch looked so gross it made all of us feel better about our lunches. If i ever see him again I swear to god its on site. I will kill that man if it is the last thing I do. You dont hold hands with another mans wife even if it was "on accident." Thats fucked up. That is FUCKED UP>

Here's the scoop: We are NOT neglecting the podcast. The problem? Beaumont was killed in whatever bullshit hurricane baby ass rain earthquake he's complaining about, Paris got lost in a Bass Pro Shop, and Kevin sold his computer for 900 VHS tapes of Corky Romano (unopened). Good riddance, if you ask me, heh! Heh! Heh! Baldur's Gate sex% run

support us and love us and treat us right: https://www.patreon.com/westernpromises

support this fella too: https://www.patreon.com/user/membership?u=99035655

what do you want from me? an epiosode with all three hosts on time filled to the brim with jokes and insight? how about no? scotty says what?