Western Promises

On this episode the mad lads discuss Cobra’s all time disaster stream, rogue trader, and whether or not meth makes your dick not work

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i bet you do like to boycott. get a boy into your cot that is. you would like that. his hard cold body oozing all over your scratchy wool sheets. leaking all over the little race cars and cowboys. the puss from open wounds congealing into crusty puck, gluing your duvet to the exposed edge of your twin sized mattress. why is it called a twin sized mattress anyways? funny how things come to be. lethal company is a lot of fun. check out our Lil Peek of it on your youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIBFWxHl98g

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i saw someone on twitter say that her boyfriend who died kept a bottle of champagne in the fridge for when henry kissinger died. pretty crazy to think about something like that so much. you just keep it in there the whole time? to use when this guy dies that you dont know? yeah not me man, not me. the weirdest thing i keep in my fridge are undershirts. i like a cool undershirt. chalk it up to growing up in the texas heat. the lone star sun beating down on me as i hitchhike to the outlet mall - there is a big sale on under armor shoes. gonna stock up. gotta stock up. also i heard they have a new qr code i want to check out. not sure what it does. gonna get the cute shoe barista to help me. gonna ask for a size 7 and do a "oh man, yeah this is way too small, wow. heh heh, yeah that is NOT gonna work. we are going to need to go up a size, maybe even a size and a half heh heh." lets see how she responds to that. I dont think she speaks much english but I trust my charm can transcend the language barrier. Oh mi esposa mula calcárea, te trataré como a una preciosa bola de nieve. Déjame agregar alegría y eros a tu vida latina.

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happy thanksgiving everyone. fill up on turkey and cakes and figs and sweet breads. slide up to the table and dig into this gristle with me. really get in there. dig your canines in. let your salivia pour over it. we are in this together. together we can really put a dent into this. pull on the chain, bring the gristle hook closer to you. im so sorry to hear about your sister, that must be hard. take another bite, we are making progress. i love watching you work, youre a natural. i hope you are enjoying this. we have to make a plan to see each other more than just holidays and funerals. it will keep us young. we used to just hang out, remember that? just hanging out. yeah, yeah, pull on this meat hook, yeah. here, ill wipe the sweat from your brow, dont worry about it. remember melissa? no? well she was such a big part of my life and my story and now she is dead, stepped on an IED in rural Arkansas. who would have thought. the world is crazy. im just glad we have family. thank you for being here. happy thanksgiving everyone

just a sad story of a genius who is tormented by an evil government hellbent on just making his freaking life bad

wow what can we even say here. We are joined by the inventor of the TLC Tugger for this weeks Western Promises. We talk about the systematic mutilation of our nations men that is circumcision and also we get into toothbrush engineering. folks, you cannot miss this episode. I dont know how to tell you, if you dont listen to this you will actually die and you wont go to heaven. sorry pal, thems tha rulles.

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In this podcast Paris and G will teach you how to please a woman. We will talk about internet stuff that Paris missed while he was getting his gender studies degree at Bard. We will talk about small trucks. We will teach you how to tap into the noosphere to receive untold wisdom. All you have to do, is click play.

long ginus. im a positive that is how they say it in the show. someone please find me a clip of them saying it

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me, two 10s on each arm walking into the 5 nights at freddys movie. mask firmly resting under my nose. i order 1 small popcorn and every box of junior mints they have from the back of the line without removing my bowler hat. my novelty spurs tearing up little fibers of carpet as i drag my feet towards the coke freestlye machine. "the soda in these always tastes bad" i say, coldly, not looking at anyone in particular. I fill my cup with strawberry coke zero and rootbeer without unlocking arms from either of my female companions. I take one sip and then drop the cup in front of the employee using the manual vacuum cleaner. "missed a spot pal" i say without looking at his pathetic face. I shush my women. "dont you dare laugh at him. Dont you EVER laugh at him!" i yell in her face, not sure which one chuckled.

bonus episode every week dears

how funny would that be? and then there could be follow up movies where she is a black israelite.

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we just did a love line episode where we answer buring sex and nasty questions about your disgusting failed relationships. sub to hear.

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