Western Promises

damn what if you wanted to listen to another hour of this? wow you think you could? fuck shit, wow woah. i really wonder if you could

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bonus content regularly now, that is a western promise

sorry for our tardiness

Welcome. once you understand that everything in the universe fits neatly into 64 unique categories everything will start to make more sense to you. but dont you worry about that, you dont need to worry about that. you dont need to worry about anything. we are here to handle everything. we spend so much time worrying now - will i ever find fulfilment in my job? will i ever make enough money to relax? will my girlfriend eventually lose interest after the artificial shine of a new sexual relationship wears off? will i grow apart from those i care about the most? But imagine this for a minute: it all could work out. There is no reason why that isnt a possibility. Go outside. Pick up the basketball and take a shot. see what happens. I bet you make it. Go to the grocery store without a list, i bet you get everything you need and nothing that you dont need, you'll remember that you already have seasame oil in the pantry, you dont need another bottle.

Join us as we celebrate the last 100 years by an eliminiation style bracket tournament of the best 64 things in the human known universe.

Subscribe to our patreon please, we are all horrible at our actual jobs and its just a matter of time, oh god it really is just a matter of time. we cant keep getting away with doing nothing for days and weeks and months. someone will find out, someone has to.

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listen to lifting in the ruins and uncle teds cabin

have you seen this goddamn thing? i love it. The sphere is more important than the drawing your daughter made in therapy that accurately depicts her trauma in a way that will allow her to move on and grow into a beautiful and fuctioning adult. It is better than that one recipe you really nailed when your friends were coming over for dinner. It is so much better than than that time when everyone was ganging up on the autistic kid at school and for once you were not the object of their scorn. I mean all of this in a loving way. Everything i mentioned earlier was a test. and I have goddamn great news - you passed with flying colors. Because you rock, and you freaking matter. Its wild how good you are at this. Im following your lead. Im watching yuou with my jaw on the ground. I see you glide across the dance floor and everyone wants to fuck you. boys and girls and even old people. they stop complaining about everything for a second and say 'damn, white boy got some heat' and i agree with them. you shoudl be so proud of what you have achieved in such a short time with so much against you. you are goku and these losers cant handle it. drop a goddamn bomb on it cause its done. you killed the game.

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I call him Don Raper actually because of how mean he is to women. he doesnt act towards them like i would. I would treat you so well. you would honestly get treated like a princess by me. You would never have to do dishes or clean sheets or things like that. I would do all of that. I would worship you. I would pause my game when you needed something from me, except dark souls (you cant pause it because it is basically online all the time time sorta, ill explain it to you when we get married)

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In the heart-pounding military thriller "The Phantom of the Ghost Gun," a team of elite soldiers is thrust into a high-stakes black ops mission that will push them to their limits. As the River Oracle of Edo State grows dangerously close to unlocking the secret of immortality, their assignment becomes clear: they must eliminate this relentless adversary before he alters the course of history forever.

In the treacherous world of covert operations, where danger lurks at every turn, the team must confront their greatest challenge yet. Equipped with unparalleled combat skills and cutting-edge technology, they navigate a web of deception and conspiracy. Time is of the essence as they race against the clock, facing perilous odds and fighting against an enemy who will stop at nothing to achieve his dark ambitions.

As the mission unfolds, the team discovers that the River Oracle's pursuit of immortality is far from ordinary. Armed with a pocket knife and an inexplicable belief in the power of a humble box turtle and some lettuce, he weaves a mystical tapestry of ancient rituals and forbidden knowledge. With each step closer to the truth, the line between myth and reality blurs, and the stakes soar higher.

In the vein of Tom Clancy, "The Phantom of the Ghost Gun" delivers an adrenaline-fueled narrative that combines explosive action with mind-bending twists. As the team delves deeper into the heart of darkness, they must grapple with their own mortality while safeguarding the world from an unstoppable force.

Can they decipher the River Oracle's cryptic puzzle and stop him in time? Or will humanity pay the ultimate price for the quest for eternal life? Brace yourself for a pulse-pounding journey into the heart of darkness, where the destiny of nations hangs in the balance, and the ghosts of the past and present collide.

le sigh. a sad one today. it is both an honor and a great sadness that we were able to have the last correspondence with Titan, the doomed submarine that is lost or something. thank you to our special guest and please subscribe to our patreon to help support the billionaire's gooning stepson in these trying times. we will not donate any of the money but I would like to think our show would be a great comfort to him in between yellowy nuts. ͼ(ݓ_ݓ)ͽ

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RIP Cormac McCarthy you would have loved leveling up your barbarian

with the boss out of the office, Paris and Kevin debate the merits of honking your car horn in celebration, why paris HATES the term boomershooter, and how one epic prank went tragically wrong

these are called "jokes" "folks"... if you have a problem with us, take it up with our 5'2 senegalese manager named Gamecube. you can find him at https://www.patreon.com/westernpromises

Strap in for the debate event of the century. Young vs Old, West Coast vs Midwest, Israel vs China - Our very own Kevin stands up to the likes of Israellectuals and only me can decide who is the victor.

You 👏 are 👏 not 👏 gonna 👏 wanna 👏 miss 👏 this 👏 folks👏

Follow Israllectuals: instagram.com/israellectuals2

You liked it? yeah? well then support the show you bag a bones, you baby boy, you lard ass bitch

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