In part 2 of this two-part series, Lauren and Shannon continue their conversation with Tracy DeTomasi, the CEO of Callisto. Today’s episode builds off of the societal issues discussed in part 1 of sexual assault being a perpetrator’s problem and safety lists to dive into the solutions surrounding sexual assault prevention. Tracy dives into her work at Callisto and the technological solutions being key to the next wave of sexual assault prevention. Callisto is a platform that can match you with other survivors of the same perpetrator if you have a .edu email address and help you get the resources you need. The gals dive into some impactful statistics that have the power to debunk any sexual assault myths out there and Lauren shares a story of small personal growth. Cheers!

Checkout Callisto: https://www.projectcallisto.org/

Follow Callisto on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/callisto/

Get Educated: https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence

Got questions? Have an episode idea?

Send us an email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/

Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)

In part 1 of this two-part series, Lauren and Shannon have on a powerhouse in the world of sexual assault prevention. Tracy Detomasi is currently the CEO of Callisto, a company using technology to change the face of prevention solutions. In part 1, the gals dive into the idea of rape being a “man’s problem” or really a perpetrator's problem. Tracy gives us insight into what it looks like to work with teen sex offenders and their pasts that led them to live the life of a perpetrator. She discusses the importance of getting to the root cause of rape and assaults answering the questions of why do perpetrators rape, assault, and have abusive tendencies? The real kicker in this episode though is the discussion of safety lists. If you are somebody who has struggled with blame and shame within your own trauma, this episode will provide you with an incredible insight into why survivors are so quick to place blame on themselves. Hopefully this insight can help you drop the blame and shame you hold, throw it on the ground and kick it into the Pacific Ocean. Or Atlantic. Or whatever ocean is closest to you. Give it a listen. Cheers!

Check out Callisto: https://www.projectcallisto.org/

Get Educated: https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence

Got questions? Have an episode idea?

Send us an email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/

Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)

Today's episode dives into the questions and curiosity of so many listeners trying to decide whether or not a legal route is the right form of justice. Lauren and Shannon answer questions from listeners and shed some light on what the legal process looks like for a sexual assault case. This episode is lots of emotional advice with a sprinkle of legal, answering questions like:

What if cross-examination destroys me?

What if they think I’m a liar?

How do I stay strong through this?

Knowing whether or not you should pursue a legal case can be quite scary so this episode hopes to bring a sense of security and understanding so you’re not left in the dark.

Get Educated: ⁠https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence⁠

Got questions? Have an episode idea?

Send us an email: [email protected]

Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/⁠

Tik Tok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial⁠

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)

My Calvin's, your questions, but not my consent. Today the ladies are here to answer your questions and comments from a recent TikTok video discussing the parallels between the trial that Denim Day stemmed from and Shannon & Lauren's court-martial. Why would you keep the bra you were assaulted in? How did you get access to your trial files? Was your perpetrator found guilty? Naturally, they delve into a discussion about consent, exploring the notion that it's fluid and can be revoked at any moment you choose! Cheers!

Video Referred to: https://www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial/video/7362382615032220971?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7267593752914167342

Get Educated: ⁠ https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence⁠

Got questions? Have an episode idea?

Send us an email: [email protected]

Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/⁠

Tik Tok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial⁠

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)

Shannon and special guest, Lori Allen, have a conversation about teaching your kids about consent, what to do if your child says they've been assaulted, and what needs to happen for us to see change in the world of child sexual abuse. Lori is the Executive Director of the Gulf Coast Children's Advocacy Center, Gulf Coast Sexual Assault Program, and Healthy Start and Parents as Teachers of Bay County. This woman is a true badass who is on the forefront of creating change. Cheers!

(0:00) Introduction

(3:03) How did Lori get here?

(6:40) Panama City’s spring break party history

(12:00) Amount of children facing CSA & being comfortable with the conversation

(16:33) Teaching your kids about consent

(20:11) Impacts of CSA over time

(23:54) What do you do if your kids tell you they’ve been assaulted?

(28:04) Creating a child-friendly space

(30:58) Civic policy work for CSA

Resource mentioned: https://safersmarterkids.org/

Gulf Coast Children's Advocacy Center: https://www.gulfcoastcac.org/

Our Episode With Brent: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6AL2LaP2HYKPYVseyWQuuF?si=b0f0d4fb10cf4ac4

Get Educated: ⁠ https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence⁠

Got questions? Have an episode idea?

Send us an email: [email protected]

Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/⁠

Tik Tok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial⁠

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)

In this episode, the ladies dive deep into the unfortunate reality of how college athletes are protected at all costs by universities. Through the lens of issues at the University of Colorado Boulder, they discuss the hiring of perpetrators, misconducts that have been covered up, and the direct ties of schools with big sports teams and rape culture. But, this is not just a problem at their college, this is a universal University problem. Cheers!

(0:00) Introduction

(0:24) Do you want a hat?

(4:07) Rape culture & college athletics overview

(5:50) Cal Poly football player/assailant story

(13:30) Ralphie handler on trial

(23:38) CU's history with sexual violence

(29:05) Deion Sanders concerns

Articles referenced:

1) https://www.cuindependent.com/2024/04/10/buffs-ralphie-handler-remains-on-team-ahead-of-trial-for-sexual-assault/

2) https://www.cuindependent.com/2024/04/10/cu-athletics-sexual-misconduct-raises-concerns-again/

Get Educated: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Got questions? Have an episode idea?

Send us an email: [email protected]

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Tik Tok: w⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ww.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)

In this solo episode, Shannon confronts her struggle with desensitization towards her own sexual assault and the ongoing denial she faces when reflecting on her assault. Moreover, she gets real, raw, and honest about feeling like her assault "wasn't that bad". Grab yourself a bubbly beverage, put on your cozies, and get ready to get personal. Cheers!

Book mentioned: https://a.co/d/adtxAth

Get Educated: https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence

Got questions? Have an episode idea?

Send us an email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/

Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)

Lauren and Shannon's conversation with Jeffrey Epstein survivor, Jess Michaels. On this episode the ladies talk about the impacts of being raped at a crucial developmental age, the neurobiology of trauma, the unique paths Jess took in order to heal and a whole lot more. Jess also shares her innovative sexual assault first aid company, 3Joannes, she founded. Cheers!

(0:00) Introduction

(3:14) Jess’s story

(7:10) Perception of rape laws change response to SA

(10:34) Learning others were raped by Epstein too

(17:06) Stress hormones extreme impact on body

(20:14) Creating safety and our nervous system

(32:53) How Jess healed and neurobiology of trauma

(37:31) Adrenal fatigue syndrome

(50:19) Gaslighting ourselves

(52:10) Look at SA as an injury

(54:22) 3Joannes Jess’s business, sexual assault first aid

(1:11:19) If we had SA first aid plan before it happened

(1:15:08) 3Joannes Soft Launch & Callisto- perpetrator matching system 

Jess Michaels:

TEDx Talk: https://youtu.be/bJtjJiWAra8?si=ukdYFF-HgQic26ZK

Callisto: https://www.projectcallisto.org/

End Rape On Campus Mapping Tool: https://endrapeoncampus.org/map-and-tool/

Perversion of Justice Book: https://a.co/d/24bPpO4

Got questions? Have an episode idea?

Send us an email: [email protected]

Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/

Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)

Lauren and Shannon delve into the complex relationship between sexual trauma, body dysmorphia, and disordered eating habits. They have a discussion about the influence of social media and advertising on our body image perceptions, reflecting on how even childhood experiences shape self-perception... why don't I have boobs but that girl does? Shannon shares her experience of disordered eating of turning to binging as a coping mechanism post-assault. Both talk about what it can be like to feel that your body doesn't deserve to be taken care of and how to begin to work through unhealthy eating habits. Cheers!

Mindful Eating Resource: https://www.helpguide.org/wellness/nutrition/mindful-eating

Get Educated: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Got questions? Have an episode idea?

Send us an email: [email protected]

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Tik Tok: w⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ww.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)

PART TWO: Special guest Zoe Schacht. What happens when you bring an assailant into the lives of those you care about? We've all heard about fight, flight, and freeze responses to sexual assault, but Zoe shares a 4th trauma response: fawning. From personal anecdotes to a technique (from her therapist) to help reclaim the power of your words after assault and during sex. She shares her experience dating someone who became an abuser who in turn, sexually assaulted her roommate. What happens when you bring an assailant into the lives of those you care about? How do you handle that guilt? Is it okay to miss your abuser? It's all discussed today. Cheers!

Get Educated: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Got questions? Have an episode idea?

Send us an email: [email protected]

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Tik Tok: w⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ww.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)