Sexual assault is one of the most violating experiences a person can go through, but why does it hurt so much? In this episode, we break down the impact of sexual assault in a way that actually makes sense. From what trauma does to the brain to how it strips away autonomy, to the way society twists the narrative- we’re talking about all of it.

Healing isn’t linear, but understanding what happened to you is a step forward. Let’s talk about it. Cheers!

Get Educated: www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence

Got questions? Have an episode idea?

Send us an email: [email protected]

Buy merch: whattheydontsay.com

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If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)

What happens when the person your entire town admires is the same person who assaults you? This week, we sit down with Allyson Kreps, a child and family psychotherapist and survivor, to talk about the brutal reality of coming forward about sexual assault.

Allyson shares her story of how Mark Langford, owner of Amic Lake Maintenance and Storage in Magnetawan, Ontario, drove her hours away from home and assaulted her. She shares her 6-year legal battle and how she fought for justice, not just for others, but for herself. We dive into the backlash survivors face when they speak out, the retraumatization of the legal system, and what it means to reclaim yourself after trauma. 

We also answer a listener question:
"How do you work through self-blame? Like logically knowing it wasn’t your fault but not believing it?"

This episode is raw, powerful, and a testament to why survivors keep fighting, even when the world wants them silent. Cheers!

Get Educated: www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence

Got questions? Have an episode idea?

Send us an email: [email protected]

Want to wear consent is hot merch? whattheydontsay.com

Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/

Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)

Ever had a wild shower thought? Same. Ever had a million-dollar idea come to you in a dream? Well, Shirah Benarde did, and it was a game-changer. At just 16, she became the co-founder of NightCap, a wearable drink-spiking prevention product. Shirah joins us to talk about the frustrations of getting people to care, being a young woman in business, building communities that create real change, and the fight to make safety a priority. And remember... don't forget your NightCap. Protect your drink, protect your peace. Cheers!

Get connected with Shirah & NightCap:

https://nightcapit.com/?srsltid=AfmBOoquLeR_AUhZJmxLMdv6NsKrxHglXjQkohmuZ3RxTyTME3bYaorG

Follow NightCap on socials: https://www.instagram.com/nightcapit/?hl=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@nightcapit?lang=en

Follow Shirah: https://www.instagram.com/shirahbenarde/?hl=en

Get Educated: www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence

Got questions? Have an episode idea?

Send us an email: [email protected]

Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/

Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)

We’re back, and so is Lauren. After five months off the mic (and, yes, a very real hiatus in our friendship), we’re reunited and diving right back into all the messy, complicated, and chaotic conversations you’ve been waiting for.

In this episode, Lauren explains why Fletcher’s I Just Had Sex with My Ex hits a little too close to home (because, well... she did). We breakdown the reality of dating after trauma, how when you’ve been treated like garbage for so long, a “good guy” can feel foreign, even wrong. The pressure to want the right kind of love, even when your gut says no, is real. And Shannon shares a proposal story that went horribly wrong.

We missed you, we missed this, and we’re so happy to be back talking with our friends again. Grab a drink, settle in, and let's chat. Cheers!

Get Educated: www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence

Got questions? Have an episode idea?

Send us an email: [email protected]

Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/

Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)

Shannon sits down with Angelique Larsen, host ofLet's Talk About It, for a powerful conversation on her journey through multiple experiences of sexual assault and abuse. Angelique opens up about the unique challenges of navigating violent same-sex relationships and the emotional turmoil that comes with them. From dealing with abusive partners to the frustrating shortcomings of support systems (yes, we’re looking at you, Title IX), the two dive deep into the raw realities LGBTQ+ survivors face when seeking justice. Cheers!

Our episode onLet's Talk About It:⁠https://open.spotify.com/episode/42ojoUhn6QYE2SUBxAAorf?si=b14b86a904944bf2⁠

*It's episode 4 titled "What is Sexual Assault?"

Follow Angelique:

TikTok:https://www.tiktok.com/@anxgxlique?_t=ZT-8svqot9MgjW&_r=1

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/officialletstalkaboutitpod?igsh=MTF3MWEwdjNpZ2M1NA==

Get Educated:www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence

Got questions? Have an episode idea?

Send us an email: [email protected]

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/

Tik Tok:https://www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)

The holidays are supposed to be all about joy and good vibes, but let’s be real—sometimes they’re just a shitshow. For some, it’s loneliness, financial stress, reminders of loss, or the family drama no one wants to talk about (like being in the same room as your uncle, who also happens to be your rapist). In this episode, Shannon dives into why the holidays can be such a challenging time and how to protect your peace by setting boundaries. You’re not a bad person for saying no, leaving early, or skipping the cookie exchange to keep your sanity intact. Protect your peace—it’s the best gift you can give yourself this year. Take a sip of that hot cocoa, press play, and feel free to use this podcast as an excuse to be late to a gathering. Cheers

Get Educated: ⁠www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence⁠

Got questions? Have an episode idea?

Send us an email: [email protected]

Instagram: ⁠www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/⁠

Tik Tok: ⁠www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial⁠

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)

This week's episode is equal parts heartbreaking and historic. Derrick Hurley joins Shannon to share how his daughter was drugged and raped by a London police officer while attending nursing school in Antigua. This case grabbed international headlines, as the officer was extradited from the UK to Antigua to face justice—a historic move for a rape conviction. In this episode, they talk about the emotional toll of seeking justice, how he had to break the news to family and friends (after telling barely anyone for 4 years), and the complicated role faith played along the way.

Ever heard the phrase, “God makes all things work for good”? Yeah, they're getting into that one today. They get real about the complex role religion plays in trauma, exploring how it can help and sometimes hurt.

Grab your headphones and get ready for a conversation about faith, family, and the fight for justice. Cheers!

(0:00) Introduction

(46:26) Telling family and friends

(52:33) Faith, Religion, and forgiveness after assault

(1:03:46) Perpetrator impact statement

(1:14:15) Biggest surprise throughout trial process

(1:22:08) Sitting down with the assailant

Derrick's Book: https://www.amazon.com/ANTIGUAN-JUSTICE-Fathers-Sexual-Assault-ebook/dp/B0C7LMTFPK

Derrick's Email: [email protected]

CNN Article: https://www.cnn.com/2019/07/13/us/antigua-rape-trial-extradition/index.html

Get Educated: https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence

Got questions? Have an episode idea?

Send us an email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/

Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)

Shannon doesn’t usually tackle current events, but let’s be real—when P. Diddy, Harvey Weinstein, and Mike Jeffries are making headlines at the same time, it’s hard to ignore. In today’s episode, Shannon’s here to give a quick rundown of the criminal cases of three men with more money than morals, and apparently, no sense of decency. We’ve got a music mogul whose tracks don’t seem to include a value system, a Hollywood producer who apparently believes courtrooms are their new movie sets, and a fashion CEO who took “sex sells” a little too literally. No sugar-coating, just straight to the truth because pedophiles lost that right when they chose to touch kids. Grab your popcorn, and get ready for brutal truths—no filter, no mercy. Cheers!

More info on the cases:

https://youtu.be/Uo1Bznk66WI?si=UzZWKJ41j_nRnb8f

https://www.foxnews.com/us/harvey-weinstein-new-york-court-hearing-retrial-sex-crime-case

https://youtu.be/b8k2Rghjz2M?si=jai4rV90Hcrms9rO

Get Educated: https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence

Got questions? Have an episode idea?

Send us an email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/

Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)

What happens when the people sworn to protect us turn out to be the ones we need protection from? In this episode, the ladies sit down with Chris McGhee, a father whose world turned upside down when his daughter was assaulted by a police officer at the age of 15. The real kicker: the officer received a misdemeanor, no jail time, and no sex offender registration. If you're thinking "That’s not justice," you're not alone. Chris isn’t a lawyer, not even close—he’s just a pissed-off dad on a mission to pass Pennsylvania H.B. 1847, a bill that will make sure officers like the one who hurt his daughter are held to a higher standard. So, grab your drink of choice, and get ready for a gut punch of truth—this one’s a ride. Cheers!

The article mentioned: https://www.washingtonpost.com/investigations/interactive/2024/police-officers-child-sexual-abuse-in-america/

If you're a parent who has gone through something similar or want to know how you can help get the bill passed, Chris wants to talk to you!

Chris McGhee: https://chrismcghee.com/

Chris's Email: [email protected]

Get Educated: https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence

Got questions? Have an episode idea?

Send us an email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/

Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)

In this solo episode, Shannon opens up about her dad’s sudden death (because if you're going to go, why not a plane crash, right?). On the surface, her dad was a comedic two-time Olympian and Nike athlete. But what was he like behind closed doors? A full-blown OCD narcissist. Shannon shares how she was told to "stay strong" and didn’t shed a tear for years, and how his early exit might’ve saved her from growing up with a not-so-great dad. She reflects on how it’s shaped her relationships with men, and whether or not she’s got some good ol' daddy issues. Grab your favorite beverage, get cozy, and welcome to the Dead Dad Club. Cheers!

Get Educated: https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence

Got questions? Have an episode idea?

Send us an email: [email protected]

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/

Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)