What They Don't Say: Sexual Assault and Everything in Between

By What They Don't Say PodcastSociety & Culture

What They Don't Say: Sexual Assault and Everything in Between episodes

August 20 Who Taught You What Love Feels Like? [ft. Ella Schwartz]
What happens when the person harming you is also someone you have to see at work?
At 22, Ella Schwartz started her first year as a teacher. Her co-teacher was 47, married, and had been teaching for decades. Ella was also in a relationship. What began between them became something far more complicated, forcing Ella to reckon with coercion, the relationships that had shaped her before this one, and what happens when the person you’re trying to get away from is also part of your professional life.
And maybe the bigger question is this: how much of what we call “love” is shaped by the first version of it we were ever shown?
Here’s to unlearning what hurt us and making room for something better. Cheers!
Ella's Substack "Hot Hurt & Healing"
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If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
1 hr 8 min
June 18 The Pleasure Talk You Never Got
Most of us got some version of the sex talk growing up. You know the one: STIs, birth control, and a healthy dose of fear. But nobody ever gave us the pleasure talk.
This week, Shannon sits down with sexual health educator Molly Kilby to talk about the things most of us were never taught: why pleasure isn't one-size-fits-all, how to communicate what you want, why your brain might be pumping the brakes even when you want intimacy, and how survivors can reconnect with pleasure after trauma.
The pleasure talk you never got starts now. Cheers!
The resources mentioned:
Sensate focus: ⁠https://health.cornell.edu/sites/health/files/pdf-library/sensate-focus.pdf⁠
Website version of Pleasure Profile, under "Sexual Communication" section: https://shcs.ucdavis.edu/guide-consent-and-sexcessful-communication
Come As You Are worksheets (Dual Control Model questionnaires and helpful handouts): https://www.emilynagoski.com/come-as-you-are-worksheets-2
Contact Molly: [email protected]
Check out our merch: WhatTheyDontSay.com
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Send us an email: [email protected]
Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
1 hr 10 min
May 28 My Rapist is in Prison… Well, Not Anymore
Life update! After taking a little over two months away from the podcast, Shannon is back to talk about something she’s never publicly discussed before: her rapist being sentenced to prison.
She opens up about the emotional aftermath of trial, the complicated reality of “getting justice,” and why comments like “you’re lucky you got your day in court” may be doing more harm than people realize.
Then she shares how discovering her perpetrator had been released from prison early, unexpectedly landed her in Washington DC advocating for changes to the military sexual assault legal system.
Cheers!
Check out our merch: WhatTheyDontSay.com/shop
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Send us an email: [email protected]
Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
1 hr 32 min
February 26 What Survivors Wish Their Families Knew
Sexual assault does not just impact the survivor. The impacts of it can often ripple through an entire family. In this episode, Shannon walks through the basics of what survivors wish their families understood, including how to respond when someone discloses and why trying to “fix it” can cause more harm.
She also talks about family dynamics from the survivor side, including the difference between being active and passive in conversations about sexual assault and why it is okay to choose peace and self-preservation over constant correction. Finally, she answers a listener's question about alcohol and consent: "If both people were drunk, is it still sexual assault?"
So, grab your drink and toast to the families who are willing to do better. Cheers!
Find a rape crisis center near you: https://www.valor.us/get-help/
Project Callisto: https://www.projectcallisto.org/
Check out our merch: WhatTheyDontSay.com
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Send us an email: [email protected]
Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
46 min
February 09 Epstein Files: When Institutions Fail, We Show Up [ft Jess Michaels]
The Epstein Files were supposed to bring transparency. Instead, they exposed what survivors already know: institutions protect themselves first.
In this episode, Shannon sits down with Epstein survivor, advocate, and Founder, Jess Michaels, to unpack what’s actually happening with the Epstein Files, why the DOJ’s response matters far beyond this case, and what institutional failure looks like.
But this conversation isn’t just about what went wrong. It’s about what we do when institutions don’t show up.
They talk about how community care fills the gaps systems leave behind, why sexual assault is an injury first, and how the way we respond to harm can change everything.
Follow Jess: https://www.instagram.com/jessmichaelsspeaks/
Become a #WithYouToo App Beta Tester: https://withyoutoo.3joannes.com/
Get Educated: www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
Send us a message: WhatTheyDontSay.com
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
1 hr 10 min
January 15 Shame Was My Motivator — A Man Who Didn’t Tell for 18 Years
Shannon sits down with Aaron Stone, a retired Army combat medic and survivor of sexual assault, to talk about what it means to live in silence for 18 years.
Aaron was raped at 15 by someone he trusted. In the aftermath, shame became his motivator, shaping how he survived and why telling the truth didn’t feel possible for so long. He talks about freezing during the assault, then spending years pushing forward anyway, carrying what happened long into adulthood.
This episode is for you if you’ve ever questioned why a man didn’t fight back, didn’t tell, or kept going like nothing happened. Cheers!
Get in touch with Aaron: www.18winters.com
Buy a Consent is Hot™ Hoodie: www.WhatTheyDontSay.com/shop
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Send us an email: [email protected]
Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
49 min
December 25, 2025 What Comes After: A Crossover Conversation with Dave Markel
This week’s episode is a crossover conversation with Dave Markel from Sexual Assault Survivor Stories.
This conversation centers around what survivors face every day: how people respond when a survivor shares their story, the misunderstandings that follow trauma, and the emotional labor survivors are often expected to carry. Shannon shares insight into the messy, painful, and confusing parts of her own journey, alongside the resilience and clarity that continue to shape her voice and her advocacy.
This episode dives into day-to-day survival after trauma, relationships and intimacy, the legal process, and the importance of saying the things that too often go unsaid.
Dave's SASS podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/33U3Vn4jGkzNf5weufDnjB?si=c1f725cf41044a06
Send Dave an email: [email protected]
Get Educated: www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
Send us a message and/or check out our merch: WhatTheyDontSay.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
If you value these conversations and want to help us keep them going, one way to support is through Buy Me a Coffee . Your contribution helps us continue creating these conversations. And if monetary support isn’t accessible, rating the show, sharing an episode, or following along on social helps more than you know <3
47 min
December 19, 2025 I was 13 & No One Protected Me [ft. Ray]
In this episode, Ray shares her story of being abused at 13, and what happened when the people and institutions meant to protect her didn’t.
This conversation explores coercion, fear, and trauma at a young age, as well as the lasting impact of being disbelieved, silenced, and pushed aside by a school system more focused on protecting itself than protecting a child. Ray shares what it’s like to grow up without language for what happened, and how institutional failure can be just as damaging as the abuse itself.
If you were hurt when you were young. If the adults or institutions meant to protect you, failed. You’re not alone here. This episode is for you. Grab a blanket and get cozy. Cheers!
Follow Ray on socials: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bluraybeyond/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@bluraybeyond
Book mentioned: https://a.co/d/dZAuhkE
Get Educated: www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Send us a message: WhatTheyDontSay.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
If you value these conversations and want to help us keep them going, one way to support is through ⁠Buy Me a Coffee⁠ . Your contribution helps us continue creating these conversations. And if monetary support isn’t accessible, rating the show, sharing an episode, or following along on social helps more than you know <3
1 hr 36 min
November 27, 2025 Traumaversaries
Traumaversaries are the weird little days your body remembers even when your brain swears you are fine. In this episode, Shannon talks about what traumaversaries are and how to move through them without “should” -ing all over your needs.

Whether you dread the date, forget the date, feel everything at once, or feel nothing at all, you are not weird, and you are not alone. If you love someone who has been through trauma and you want to support them better on the hard days, this episode will help you, too.
Grab your drink and cheers to surviving the days you never should have had to survive.
Get Educated: www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
Buy a Consent is Hot™ Hoodie: WhatTheyDontSay.com
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Send us an email: [email protected]
Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
If you value these conversations and want to help us keep them going, one way to support is through ⁠Buy Me a Coffee⁠ . Your contribution helps us continue creating these conversations. And if monetary support isn’t accessible, rating the show, sharing an episode, or following along on social helps more than you know <3
44 min
November 13, 2025 Rebuilding Intimacy After Trauma (ft. Susan Bratton)
What does it take to feel safe enough to be close again?
In this episode, Shannon and Lauren sit down with intimacy expert and trauma survivor Susan Bratton to unpack what rebuilding intimacy looks like after trauma. They talk about how communication builds safety, and why so many survivors struggle to feel touch without fear.
Susan shares her story of healing after childhood abuse and how she learned to turn numbness into sensation and shame into sovereignty.
It’s a conversation about presence, power, and the possibility of pleasure after pain, and a reminder that rebuilding intimacy isn’t about sex at all. It’s about coming home to yourself. Cheers!
Susan: https://susanbratton.com/
Follow Susan: https://www.instagram.com/susanbratton/?hl=en
Get Educated: www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
Check out merch & more: WhatTheyDontSay.com
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Send us an email: [email protected]
Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
If you value these conversations and want to help us keep them going, one way to support is through ⁠Buy Me a Coffee⁠ . Your contribution helps us continue creating these conversations. And if monetary support isn’t accessible, rating the show, sharing an episode, or following along on social helps more than you know <3
1 hr 36 min

About What They Don't Say: Sexual Assault and Everything in Between

From the publisher's feed

What They Don’t Say is a survivor-led podcast hosted by Shannon Porter, originally co-created with Lauren King. The show takes an unfiltered look at sexual assault, trauma, and the justice process, while making these conversations more honest and approachable.