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In case you missed it, I'm reposting this episode because it seems to come up over and over and over. Even if you've listened before, maybe hearing it again will bring fresh light. 

Ever say the “right thing” and watch it land the wrong way? We unpack three phrases that sound supportive but often sting—calm down, everything happens for a reason, and let me know if you need anything—and trade them for language that actually regulates, validates, and helps. Drawing on real-world therapy experience, we explain why timing and purpose matter more than perfect wording, and how to align what you say with what the moment needs.

We start by exploring how high emotions change what people can hear. Instead of commanding feelings, we focus on co-regulation and presence: I’m here with you, I hear you, let’s take a breath together. You’ll learn simple de-escalation scripts for anger and anxiety, how to avoid accidentally shaming someone for not being “in control,” and when to keep words minimal and concrete if safety is a concern.

Then we tackle platitudes. Meaning-making has a place, but not at the peak of pain. We share alternatives that invite story and honor timing: that sounds really hard, what else happened, where does it hurt most today. Finally, we replace vague offers with specific, doable help that people can accept without planning energy: I can bring dinner Thursday or Saturday; I’ll text Friday to check in; I can watch the kids for two hours this weekend. These small changes turn good intentions into real support.

If you’re ready to make your words matter for good, press play for clear phrases, practical tools, and a kinder way to show up. Subscribe, share with a friend who’s a natural fixer, and leave a quick review telling us which phrase you’re swapping out this week.

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

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