The Best of You

When People Push Your Buttons: The Power of Curiosity Over Control With Harvard Psychologist Dr. Stuart Ablon


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What do you do when someone you love - whether it’s your kids, a spouse, or a friend - keeps doing the same maddening things? 

This week, we’re tackling how to approach the most frustrating dynamics in any relationship. Dr. Alison is joined by award-winning psychologist Dr. J. Stuart Ablon, founder of Think:Kids at Massachusetts General Hospital, and Associate Professor at Harvard Medical School. 

He shares a game-changing mindset shift: most challenging behavior is about skill, not will.

If you’ve ever thought, “They just don’t care,” about someone you love, this conversation provides a proven, practical path to real solutions. 

This episode explores:

  • The five core skills that drive every behavior
  • The real reason most people struggle
  • How to keep your cool and trade judgment for curiosity
  • The exact words that lower defensiveness fast
  • Why boundaries still matter—and how to set them collaboratively
  • A step-by-step walkthrough of Collaborative Problem Solving in action
  • For more from Dr. Stuart Ablon, check out his many free resources:

    💡For free access to an interactive, self-paced course for parents, go to https://thinkkids.org/Self-Paced-Courses/Parent-Caregiver-Course/ Use code: BestofYou

    🏥 Think: Kids at Massachusetts General Hospital 

    📚Changeable: How Collaborative Problem Solving Changes Lives at Home, at School, and at Work


    Here are some other episodes you might like :

    Episode 86: Embracing Conflict—Why It's Essential & 4 Simple Ways to Tackle It

    Episode 70: Mastering the Art of Emotional Intelligence—How to Harness the Power of Your Emotions to Improve Your Relationships


    📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

    💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode.


    Thanks to our Sponsors!

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      *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

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