Don't Cut Your Own Bangs

When Winning Means Losing & Wonder Brings You Back: Highlights with Eli Martinez


Listen Later

Hello, hello! In this week's "Best Lessons of the Year" recap, we're diving into two surprisingly connected themes:

  1. How easy it is to lose ourselves in conflict
  2. How possible it is to find ourselves in nature

We start with a clip from my solo cast, Winning Isn't Everything, where I break down what really happens when our nervous system floods and suddenly our partner becomes… the enemy. (Yes, even if 10 minutes ago they were our favorite person.)

Then we shift into wide-open wonder with adventurer and wildlife guide Eli Martinez, who reminds us that reconnecting with the natural world isn't just "nice" — it's an actual portal back to intuition, presence, and our truest selves.

Some quote that stand out

"Stepping out of win-lose dynamics isn't weakness. It's wisdom."

"When we stop fighting for control, we start listening — and that's when we find our way back to ourselves."

"Wonder cracks us open in ways certainty never can."

Key Takeaways
  • Winning in conflict often means both people lose. We aren't built for battles in our closest relationships.

  • Curiosity is a superpower — in conversation, in conflict, in connection.

  • Nature resets the nervous system. Watching a sunset can be more therapeutic than a dozen self-help books.

  • Adventure and intimacy feel the same in the body. Fear + excitement + vulnerability = transformation.

  • The real lesson? Learning to trust yourself is a practice, not a one-time achievement.

Full Episodes Featured
  • Exploring the Wild with Eli Martinez https://youtu.be/nLyXdWeEKI4

  • Winning Isn't Everything https://youtu.be/VHc_kt3yQ3U

Rate, Review & Subscribe

If this episode sparked something in you — a whisper, a nudge, a little "Oof… that's for me" — please rate, review, and subscribe. It helps the show grow and helps conversations like this reach people who need them.

Connect with Danielle

Podcast: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0VFZulonTvaa2HIPyJa4Tq Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-cut-your-own-bangs/id1427579922 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs

Community: Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dontcutyourownbangs/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dontcutyourownbangspod

Books & Journals: Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal Wrestling a Walrus (Children's Book): https://danielleireland.com/wrestling-a-walrus

Website: https://danielleireland.com/

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Don't Cut Your Own BangsBy Danielle Ireland

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