Where's My Spin-Off?

Oh, the "Ties" that bind us, and in some cases- cases such as outlandish disparity in Scrabble proclivity- unbind us.

In this episode, we unpack: what should one do if they realize their partner is a dumb dumb!? We also get back to the bread and butter of what makes us us, lots of hilarious and terrifying dating profiles.

We also add another bullet point to the IMDb that is Coco's fantastic ride through the world of show business. All of that, plus the wonderful buy nothings that SWIMmers sent in from around the country. I’m fighting not to say it... I say it so much... but I think this episode is one of the funniest we’ve ever made.

I’m sorry, but it’s true.

Facts are facts.

Enjoy.

SWIMmers! Your boy produced his first music album! 

*My music name: I May Unblock U

Title: Cadence As a Weapon(all of my friends are dead or Rich)

Get your copy here: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/imayunblocku/all-my-friends-are-dead-or-rich

While you’re here be sure to grab your copy of my comedy album: AL JACKSON: In Earnest 

https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/aljackson/in-earnest

As always, please rate, comment, and subscribe! (It helps with the algorithm)

New episodes available Wednesdays.

Instagram: @mysafewordismore

Al Jackson @aljacksonig

Corinne Kaplan @corinsanity

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

*sigh*

Enjoy!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you ask parents with multiple children, some will tell you (after they’ve had seven or eight whiskey doubles) that they never thought that one of those children would graduate high school. 

That kid was partying and drinking before they could spell “partying” or “drinking”.

Most of said parent’s time was spent ensuring a bevy of legal violations would be expunged from their adult record, but they are they are- against-all-odds- walking across the stage.

Tears rolled down this proud-parents cheeks while a flashing ankle monitor, monitored this child’s whereabouts but that’s water under the bridge because THAT’S a high school graduate my friends. 

That kid beat the odds. 

…And that describes this podcast. We tried to work in some new technology and it kicked us directly in our auditory nether regions. 

The audio is not great, but if you listen, it’s hilarious… and if you listen really hard, you’ll hear two friends that absolutely love talking to each other. It’s worth the effort, trust me. 

It’s. 

Hilarious.

Enjoy. 

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Models n’ (bourbon) Bottles.

In this episode we find out that Corinne literally “gets it from her mama…”

We also agree that a walk down the catwalk is worth more than a 20% discount.  From the catwalk we stroll into a bizarre story about Corinne ‘s experience with a creepy nudist colony.  It’s weird to hear about people walking around naked, it’s borderline gross when you learn what those people are sitting on (and why).

Toothbrush-gate breaks out on the pod when our favorite duo have a serious disagreement about the placement of an over-night guests toothbrush.

We also like to say: 

“Welcome to the family Rusty”.

Enjoy.

SWIMmers! Your boy produced his first music album! 

*My music name: I May Unblock U

Title: Cadence As a Weapon(all of my friends are dead or Rich)

Get your copy here: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/imayunblocku/all-my-friends-are-dead-or-rich

While you’re here be sure to grab your copy of my comedy album: AL JACKSON: In Earnest 

https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/aljackson/in-earnest

As always, please rate, comment, and subscribe! (It helps with the algorithm)

New episodes available Wednesdays.

Instagram: @mysafewordismore

Al Jackson @aljacksonig

Corinne Kaplan @corinsanity

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In present day parlance, the term free range is used to let the buyer know that the animal didn’t live its life in a pen the size of a bathroom you would find on a Greyhound Bus.  He was free to roam... before ultimately being killed in preparation of his journey from his farm to your table. 

Years ago, my friends and I recommissioned the term free range to mean: meeting somebody organically; out in the wild, no apps, no tech- just like meeting somebody in a record store 1986. 

Simply chance; and happenstance. 

Well, forgive me for being presumptuous, but we might have a real life, farm-raised situation brewing right here at MSWIM headquarters. Good things are coming for our girl- I can feel it in my bones.

Speaking of bones, the temperature in Colorado was neck and neck with that of the surface of Mars; so please keep that in mind when hearing the stories.  The backdrop for these stories 

is a frozen tundra, nothing is moving. Everything is still- everything- except our Cookie, and that may have made all the difference.

This podcast has it all from hand-me-down hotel upgrades; to the debut of a new segment we know you’ll love. 

There’s something in the air, I don’t know if it’s love; it might just be nitrogen, carbon dioxide and oxygen but, it could be love.

Something big is brewing, see if you concur.

Enjoy. 

SWIMmers! Your boy produced his first music album! 

*My music name: I May Unblock U

Title: Cadence As a Weapon(all of my friends are dead or Rich)

Get your copy here: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/imayunblocku/all-my-friends-are-dead-or-rich

While you’re here be sure to grab your copy of my comedy album: AL JACKSON: In Earnest 

https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/aljackson/in-earnest

As always, please rate, comment, and subscribe! (It helps with the algorithm)

New episodes available Wednesdays.

Instagram: @mysafewordismore

Al Jackson @aljacksonig

Corinne Kaplan @corinsanity

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you are still listening to this podcast, you know one thing. This show is about laughter, but mostly about learning. 

We learn about a number of things in this episode: 

1) Corinne had an alias- not a sexy alias- but one normally reserved for a woman living alone in an apartment in the Bronx. 

2)Corinne confesses something, very personal about her childhood videos, leading to a very heartfelt moment. 

Enough with the learning. 

It’s like I always say: “learning is dumb mostly.”

We then get a crazy story from Cookie, which involved: a well, a machete and a lack of proper medication. 

From that harrowing story, the two seamlessly transition into a hilariously bad date that left Al’s mouth agape. 

Finally we review a book from LeVar Burton-we think. 

This was one of my favorite, and most real episodes. I learned a lot about my friend Cookie, and I love her just like you guys do. 

Forever homies.

Your friend Albert.

Enjoy. 

SWIMmers! Your boy produced his first music album! 

*My music name: I May Unblock U

Title: Cadence As a Weapon(all of my friends are dead or Rich)

Get your copy here: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/imayunblocku/all-my-friends-are-dead-or-rich

While you’re here be sure to grab your copy of my comedy album: AL JACKSON: In Earnest 

https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/aljackson/in-earnest

As always, please rate, comment, and subscribe! (It helps with the algorithm)

New episodes available Wednesdays.

Instagram: @mysafewordismore

Al Jackson @aljacksonig

Corinne Kaplan @corinsanity

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SWIMmers!!!!!!!!!

We're back, we’re black(?) and we’re beautiful. This is our holiday recap episode. So technically what I am currently writing is a summary of a recap- which is a very sad sentence. 

What is not sad is Corinne’s encounter with a real-life whaa at the bar? 

Followed by some tortilla soup that inspired Cookie to make some soup of her own. 

*That homemade recipe leads to Coco kicking off 2024 with a MAJOR announcement.

A “shameless social climber”, climbs right into our hearts and we find out two, major revelations: 

1) Al produced & created his first music album! Get your copy here: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/imayunblocku/all-my-friends-are-dead-or-rich

Secondly; we find find out through a much anticipated YELP! review, that our beloved Al may in fact be a “Kenny”? Say it ain’t so.

We. Missed. Y’all.

Enjoy!

While you’re here be sure to grab your copy of Al’s comedy album: 

https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/aljackson/in-earnest

As always, please rate, comment, and subscribe! (It helps with the algorithm)

New episodes available Wednesdays.

Instagram: @mysafewordismore

Al Jackson @aljacksonig

Corinne Kaplan @corinsanity

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh my God we did it!

Our 50th anniversary. If we were married, I would have a diamond ring at The Four Seasons Hotel restaurant telling her: “she’s just as beautiful as she was the day that we met” and she would know that’s our secret code for: “let’s try and get the waitress to come home with us.”  I’m getting teary-eyed.

I am honored to say that 50 episodes in; myself- Al Jackson, and my asexual-sister-wife, Corinne “Cookie” Kaplan, have had an absolute blast recording 50 episodes of who we really are and being accepted and loved by all of our SWIMmers without whom; none of this would be possible.

In this episode we finally get the much anticipated Mike Tyson story as requested by our wonderful SWIMmer, Trevor.  We also add yet another embarrassing bullet point to Corinne‘s “low-key” IMDb; in this case- she traded goods for services. A poor decision all-around.

We’ll also dive into some incredible dating profiles and bring it around full-circle as we hear back from a SWIMmer, whose email had us request that they follow up… and that they did. Thank you Pedro. 

We will get through all of that and more in this jam-packed episode.  Again, thanks for listening and supporting . From the bottom of this black man’s heart: I love you. Cookie love’s you.  We love you. Enjoy the holidays, more to come. Now where's that waitress?

Our boy Al Jackson’s latest stand-up special: In Earnest is OUT! Get it here or wherever you stream your music:

https://spotify.link/6jI7Ewv82Cb

https://music.apple.com/us/album/in-earnest/1702744008

As always, please rate, comment, and subscribe!

New episodes available Wednesdays.

We’re also available on YouTube!

Follow: My Safe Word Is More on Instagram @mysafewordismore

Al Jackson @aljacksonig

Corinne Kaplan @corinsanity

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you could see me now, you would see a face beaming with pride. 

Why? 

Because our girl, Corinne “Cookie” Kaplan made her first panel appearance on DAILY BLAST LIVE.

No spoilers, no hints, no clues- you have to listen to this special episode where she breaks down the entire experience. *OK, I’ll give one hint, it was absolutely one of my favorite moments of 2023.*

Enjoy!

Our boy Al Jackson's latest stand-up special: In Earnest is OUT! Get it here or wherever you stream your music:

https://spotify.link/6jI7Ewv82Cb

https://music.apple.com/us/album/in-earnest/1702744008

As always, please rate, comment, and subscribe!

New episodes available Wednesdays.

We’re also available on YouTube!

Follow: My Safe Word Is More on Instagram @mysafewordismore

Al Jackson @aljacksonig

Corinne Kaplan @corinsanity

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’ll start off this week by saying that this weeks episode was 10 to 20 times harder to edit than last week’s- just because there was so much extra content.  I also wrestled with the title. "Shut up and put this top hat on...", was a close second; you'll hear why....

Almost 50 episodes in and yet Cookie I still can’t stop ourselves from blabbing like two strangers sitting in front of you on a plane that you hate. Do you guys know that nothing’s happening here? Stop trying to be friends- you’re not gonna look at each other as soon as the wheels touch the tarmac of our destination. 

I digress. This episode is a roller coaster; the highs of the glorious world of “fit” modeling, the low’s of a bleak alpaca revelation as well as a frantic rant from a lizard Tiktoker.  *Guidance counselor never told you that was an option did they?

December marks my fifth year of sobriety, but that doesn’t do much to quell my fiery anger towards “Christmas themed” bars, to which Cookie’s stories only stoke the flame. 

Of course we delve into are we dating the same guy?  Check. Online dating responses- check.  Finally, we give some heartfelt advice to a SWIMmer with a unique family dynamic.

I worked hard on this so please…

Enjoy!

Our boy Al Jackson latest stand-up special: In Earnest is OUT! Get it here or wherever you stream your music:

https://spotify.link/6jI7Ewv82Cb

https://music.apple.com/us/album/in-earnest/1702744008

As always, please rate, comment, and subscribe!

New episodes available Wednesdays.

We’re also available on YouTube!

Follow: My Safe Word Is More on Instagram @mysafewordismore

Al Jackson @aljacksonig

Corinne Kaplan @corinsanity

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices