We don’t stumble into our relationship patterns by chance. Most of us are quietly replaying the beliefs we absorbed as kids — about love, safety, power, and what parts of ourselves are welcome. This isn't about blame; by understanding what our patterns are, we can change them and enjoy happy, healthy love.

Reprogramming childhood patterns is one of my favorite topics, so I decided to sit down with Matthew Riven, a coach and guide who helps people break the relational patterns they inherited — from childhood, culture, and past pain — and create relationships rooted in truth, power, and choice.

In our lively interview, we unpack how those stories sneak into our adult relationships, how they influence the way we show up with a partner, and how we can finally rewrite them for good.

Here are some of the topics we cover in our interview:

What are script beliefs, and how do they shape our adult relationships?

How does childhood shape the way we relate to power and intimacy as adults?

What does it mean to "perform" or "wear a mask" vs. authentic connection?

What does Matthew's work as a Dom have to do with healing relationship patterns? (And what do people often misunderstand about that?)

Why are so many people terrified of their own desire — and how can they begin to reclaim it?

Matthew offered a free gift to my audience, a free 30-minute session with him: https://stirinstitute.com/intro

A free 30-minute one-on-one session with Matthew to explore the relationship patterns that might be keeping you stuck — and what it is you want your relationships TO look like. Whether you're navigating partnership or feeling disconnected from your own needs, this is a chance to slow down, get honest about what’s actually running the show, and learn what is possible!  Include the phrase "Soul-shaking love" in your intake form so I know where you’re coming from.

More about Matthew Riven:

Matthew Riven is a coach and guide who helps people break the relational patterns they inherited — from childhood, culture, and past pain — and create relationships rooted in truth, power, and choice. He’s trained in Transactional Analysis and Re-decision Therapy, with a focus on power and desire dynamics, and brings a deeply grounded, sometimes irreverent approach to intimacy, shame, and personal transformation.

He also draws on experience from his training as a Professional Dom — not about leather and chains, but about emotional attunement, boundaries, and self-regulation. Who better to understand how we relate to power?

His clients are often successful on the outside, but secretly exhausted from performing the life they were told to want. Matthew helps them stop apologizing for their desire, get honest about their patterns, and build relationships that are real.