In this behind-the-scenes episode, we explore what “borderline” really means beneath the chaos — diving into object constancy, the fragile inner world shaped by early deprivation, and why emotions can flip so fast. I walk you through how these patterns form, what they look like in real time, and how to understand the deeper psychological needs driving the intense shifts. This is a spontaneous look into my clinical thinking as I connect developmental theory, lived experience, and practical insight into one of the most misunderstood conditions.

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here

Next Meeting: December 17th - Registration is Now Closed - See you in January

For more information about Dr. Mazzella’s psychoanalytic affiliations and membership in The International Psychoanalytic Association (IPA) -which is restricted to psychoanalysts who fulfill the most recognized international standards for psychoanalytic training- please click here

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Kerry McAvoy—clinician, author, and survivor of a deeply deceptive narcissistic relationship. She takes us inside the psychological pull that kept her bonded to someone who mirrored her idealized longings while exploiting her vulnerabilities.

We explore how her early upbringing shaped her ability to overlook red flags and why vulnerability after a profound loss can open the door to predatory narcissistic partners. 

If you’ve ever wondered how someone ends up in a relationship like this—or why it becomes so difficult to leave—this episode is a must-listen.

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here

Next Meeting: December 17th - Registration is Now Closed - See you in January

For more information about Dr. Mazzella’s psychoanalytic affiliations and membership in The International Psychoanalytic Association (IPA) -which is restricted to psychoanalysts who fulfill the most recognized international standards for psychoanalytic training- please click here

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com

In this episode, I take you behind the scenes as I prepare for the class I teach on personality dynamics. Instead of a polished lecture, you’ll hear my real-time thinking — how borderline and narcissistic patterns overlap, where they diverge, and why people in narcissistic relationships so often bump into borderline dynamics without realizing it. This episode gives you a raw look at how I use theory, connect clinical ideas, and make sense of these intense personality styles as I work – and get ready to teach! 

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here

Next Meeting: December 17th - Registration is Now Closed - See you in January

For more information about Dr. Mazzella’s psychoanalytic affiliations and membership in The International Psychoanalytic Association (IPA) -which is restricted to psychoanalysts who fulfill the most recognized international standards for psychoanalytic training- please click here

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com

Why does even gentle feedback feel like an attack?
In this episode, we explore how the mind turns ordinary feedback into a perceived assault — and why that reaction exists for a reason. Narcissistic defensiveness isn’t just about arrogance or fragility; it’s a complex system designed to keep you ‘company.’ The very attack that harms also protects — preserving connection with an internalized other, even if that connection is punishing.

Through clinical examples, we look at how this dynamic plays out in daily life and how therapy helps loosen these inner assaults so real growth and connection can begin.

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here

Next Meeting: December 17th - Registration is Now Closed - See you in January

For more information about Dr. Mazzella’s psychoanalytic affiliations and membership in The International Psychoanalytic Association (IPA) -which is restricted to psychoanalysts who fulfill the most recognized international standards for psychoanalytic training- please click here

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com

Have you ever cared deeply for someone who constantly leaves you feeling smaller, unseen, or blamed? In this interview with John Cordray, we look beneath the surface of those relationships — into the emotional patterns that fuel narcissistic dynamics. We unpack why it’s so hard not to react when you’re being judged or attacked, and I even attempt a Coca-Cola analogy to explain it (you’ll have to decide if it works).

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here

Next Meeting: December 17th - Registration is Now Closed - See you in January

For more information about Dr. Mazzella’s psychoanalytic affiliations and membership in The International Psychoanalytic Association (IPA) -which is restricted to psychoanalysts who fulfill the most recognized international standards for psychoanalytic training- please click here

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com

In this episode, we’re going to pull back the curtain on what actually happens inside you during the holidays — not the surface-level stress you blame, but the internal shifts you feel. We’re going to explore why the season disrupts your psychological balance, why old wounds feel closer to the surface, and why the defenses you rely on all year suddenly stop working. Most importantly, we’ll look at how this exposure — uncomfortable as it is — can reveal something essential about your deeper emotional life.

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here

Next Meeting: December 17th - Registration is Now Closed - See you in January

For more information about Dr. Mazzella’s psychoanalytic affiliations and membership in The International Psychoanalytic Association (IPA) -which is restricted to psychoanalysts who fulfill the most recognized international standards for psychoanalytic training- please click here

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com

In this episode of The Narcissism Decoder, I share a compelling clip from my conversation with Dr. Kerry, host of Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse. We explore the complex dynamics between narcissistic mothers and their children — is it parasitic, or a painful kind of symbiosis? Dive into the psychodynamic insights behind emotional fusion, people-pleasing, and why breaking free from these relationships can feel so destabilizing.

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here

Next Meeting: December 17th - Registration is Now Closed - See you in January

For more information about Dr. Mazzella’s psychoanalytic affiliations and membership in The International Psychoanalytic Association (IPA) -which is restricted to psychoanalysts who fulfill the most recognized international standards for psychoanalytic training- please click here

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com

In this episode, we continue our conversation with Olivia Atkin as we explore what happens when a family member begins showing narcissistic traits — or even starts dividing the family. Together, we unpack how to recognize these patterns and how to engage someone like this. I share practical strategies to stay grounded, listen with empathy, avoid taking control, resist insisting on your reality, and find your own voice without getting pulled into the chaos. Tune in to discover how understanding these dynamics MAY transform your relationships.

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here

Next Meeting: December 17th - Registration is Now Closed - See you in January

For more information about Dr. Mazzella’s psychoanalytic affiliations and membership in The International Psychoanalytic Association (IPA) -which is restricted to psychoanalysts who fulfill the most recognized international standards for psychoanalytic training- please click here

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com

In this episode, we explore how childhood shame, bullying, and emotional neglect can quietly lay the groundwork for narcissism. Through a heartfelt exchange with Olivia Atkin — who shares a powerful personal story about growing up with a medical diagnosis and being bullied — we unpack how these early wounds shape self-esteem, fuel the need for narcissistic supplies, and lead some people to protect themselves through narcissistic defenses. Then - we take it a step deeper — looking at the real nature of early trauma, which isn’t just about what happened, but about something far more hidden and formative beneath the surface. Tune in to hear what that is all about… 

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here

Next Meeting: December 17th - Registration is Now Closed - See you in January

For more information about Dr. Mazzella’s psychoanalytic affiliations and membership in The International Psychoanalytic Association (IPA) -which is restricted to psychoanalysts who fulfill the most recognized international standards for psychoanalytic training- please click here

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com

In this episode, we continue our conversation with Deborah from Healing from Toxic Abuse to explore one of the most confusing and painful dynamics in narcissistic relationships—gaslighting. We look at how gaslighting isn’t always as clear-cut as it seems. Sometimes it’s deliberate and controlling, but other times it reflects someone trapped in their own distorted reality, unable to see beyond their perspective. We also talk about how, at times, it’s possible to “sneak around” narcissistic defenses and create small openings for something more authentic to emerge.

If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information.

Want to go deeper? Join me in Office Hours — an open space where we explore psychoanalytic ideas together, answer your questions, and connect theory to real life experiences. Reserve your spot here

Next Meeting: December 17th - Registration is Now Closed - See you in January

For more information about Dr. Mazzella’s psychoanalytic affiliations and membership in The International Psychoanalytic Association (IPA) -which is restricted to psychoanalysts who fulfill the most recognized international standards for psychoanalytic training- please click here

You can follow The Narcissism Decoder on:

https://www.instagram.com/thenarcissism.decoder/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

https://www.youtube.com/@thenarcissismdecoder

Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com